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I still miss my ex, what should I do?


Lagi lanumoana

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I broke up with my ex four years ago, but I still miss him.
I dumped him, but six months later I re-contacted him

We were together in third country, but I left for my home town for my work, we have become a long distance couple.
Sadly, we couldn't see it except the weekend in a month, and even the weekend was too short for us. But nonetheless, we loved each other

I was dissatisfied with it, So I had to make a decision to either go back to a third country or go to each other's home country.
I asked him if he would be with me in the future. but he said he couldn't tell if he could be with me in the future because he also lives in third countries and was not settled so he couldn't know what his future was right now.

I was hoping he would tell me the solution, but I was very upset because it wasn't, So in the end, I said goodbye to him and said all kinds of bad things.

But I still miss him..
He is currently in a relationship with another woman.
I sometimes messaged him like a friend, but one day his girl friend followed my Instagram and canceled it.

I was so surprised and so angry at the same time.
I didn't think his girlfriend would know me, and I thought he had told her about me.

I was angry and talked to him, and he said he was sorry it was her mistake. 
Do you guys believe this? I think this is her warning.
It's shameful that she seems to know everything about me.
I often told him my dreams about him or miss old days and that you are a good person. Of course he didn't respond to that message just laugh emoji, but.. Should I stop contacting him? I can't forgot him I really want to go back to him, What can I do?

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If you two were together and one of his exes was contacting him telling him her dreams and that she misses him, how would you feel?

Yes, it hurts but it's been long enough.  You're wasting away your life pining over someone who's in a relationship and who doesn't even live in the same country.  Wouldn't it be more fun to spend time communicating with friends and planning activities and to meet new people?  Or is it more fun to be miserable?

I know what I would choose!

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I think it is very disrespectful/"shameful" of you to reach out to him, as he is involved with another.   You were not doing it as a friend, but due to your feelings.  How would you feel if you were in her position?

 

Be a better person and leave him alone. It has been four years, move on with your life! 

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18 minutes ago, Lagi lanumoana said:

He is currently in a relationship with another woman.

I was angry and talked to him, and he said he was sorry it was her mistake. 
 Should I stop contacting him?

Yes, stop contacting him. He's in a  another relationship and it seems they agreed that your contact was inappropriate. Delete and block him and all he is people from all your social media and messaging apps so you can move forward and find someone who is local, single and wants the relationship you want.

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Yes, leave him be now.  This inability to accept & move on is on you.

You two ended 4 yrs ago.  

You've been hanging on for way too long & it is damaging you 😞 

In order to do this, you NEED to stop everything to do with him.

No contact.  No following.. Nothing anymore. .. This is the first step on working on accepting, healing & moving on.

The less you know, the better.  You want no form on knowledge of what HE is doing now.

You need to focus on YOU.  You seem lost 😞 .  How about some prof help, to help you work through this loss... and working through your emotions- to get through this.

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Let him go. Don't contact him.

I think you're more than likely building him up in your head. You're remembering him as better than he was. Years have past. you don't  know him anymore. 

You might still think of him but you have your own life to live.  

 

 

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The harder you try to bring back these old bones from the past the longer you're prolonging your healing and self-sabotaging.

It's probably not pleasant and uncomfortable but take a good hard look at what's going on in your life and what areas you're unhappy or unfulfilled with. Focus on those parts instead of blanketing them with more issues. 

This person deserves to stay in your past. Move forwards. 

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5 hours ago, boltnrun said:

If you two were together and one of his exes was contacting him telling him her dreams and that she misses him, how would you feel?

Yes, it hurts but it's been long enough.  You're wasting away your life pining over someone who's in a relationship and who doesn't even live in the same country.  Wouldn't it be more fun to spend time communicating with friends and planning activities and to meet new people?  Or is it more fun to be miserable?

I know what I would choose!

But why is he replying to me? Isn't he missing me too? He knows how I feel for him

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5 hours ago, Hollyj said:

I think it is very disrespectful/"shameful" of you to reach out to him, as he is involved with another.   You were not doing it as a friend, but due to your feelings.  How would you feel if you were in her position?

 

Be a better person and leave him alone. It has been four years, move on with your life! 

I send messages to him as a friend and I express my feel sometimes..

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1 hour ago, Lagi lanumoana said:

But why is he replying to me? Isn't he missing me too? He knows how I feel for him

You didn't answer my question.

How would you feel if your boyfriend's ex was contacting him telling him her "feelings" for him?

This will not lead to anything but more heartache for you. This is a dead end situation.

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5 hours ago, Lagi lanumoana said:

But why is he replying to me? Isn't he missing me too? He knows how I feel for him

To be polite. To be friendly. If he only laughed when you said you miss him, then no, he doesn't miss you too. 

You need to stop this. It's really inappropriate and a waste of your time. 

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8 hours ago, Lagi lanumoana said:

I send messages to him as a friend and I express my feel sometimes..

This is what a BF is for and that's why you need to start talking to and dating local single men.

If you need someone to talk to, contact friends and family. Or if you are really stunk, therapy could help.

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