Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Hey guys. I want to share a nightmare I had with you guys I had two weeks ago, I talked with my therapist about this, and I think the two of us are misunderstanding it. What do you guys think? I'd love some more opinions of this..

 

Some Backstory: I'm a 26 year old straight male from New Jersey. I've been suffering from HOCD, Anxiety, and Self Doubt about my sexuality for seemingly forever now, but very heavily over the last 2.5 months, it's all I think about.

 

Okay so have any of you seen the Michael Myers Halloween Movies? The ones that are played every year on Halloween night, the guy with the mask?

 

Well anyway, I had a nightmare about 2 weeks ago now that I'm still trying to figure out. So Michael Myers, the movie character, was in my dream, locked inside this heavily guarded room or door whatever you want to call it. He tries desperately to get out, and he does. The dream cuts to the real life version of me, who is not far from this, but also not close either, starting to worry and panic, and start running away far far away, like Jamie lee curtis in the movies. The dream then cuts back to michael myers character, who we assume (we dont see what happens, but we assume) he kills the people guarding the door, who were just random not real actual people, just made up) and he starts searching for his next victim, which I know is me because I'm the reason he was put in that room. Somehow, the character finds a knife in the dream, and does whatever he can to get to the real life version of me, attacking anyone in his way (you dont actually see any people get killed & the people in the dream are not based off anyone in real life but you know thats what happens because its like the movie) anyway somehow he walks by a mirror, and you see a reflection of the mask, and the person behind the mask. the person behind the mask is myself. So there's this insane version of myself that's been locked in a jail like room for so long, attacking people and people around me, that is after the real version of myself. Eventually, this character reaches me, I trip over and am cornered. I don't remember if in the dream the character version of myself takes off his mask or if I just knew it was myself, but anyway the character reaches me, offers his hand out like he's asking for help. I start to think if I take his hand I become him. I don't do anything and I wake up.

 

My therapist and I originally thought this character represented the anxiety that's in me and not knowing how to deal with it or how to accept it..

 

I'm wondering now if it represents the homosexuality or bisexuality version of myself that I've been either ignoring, or keeping locked and hidden away for so long, and I feared if I took that hand to help the character, I'd become my worst nightmare and all my real hopes and dreams would be over? I don't know, it was the worst nightmare I've ever had.

 

Its just I've never loved a guy, never had a crush on a guy, never did anything other than be friends with a guy, never did anything sexual around men, never thought of a specific man, never had any temptations to hook up with a guy in real life, I would admit if I did, but I'm 26 years old and it just would have happened.. I've just been doubting myself for awhile now, and it's been bad lately.

 

I've had this character in my nightmares before, but we never see the face in any of the other nightmares, he was just threatening family but never actually got to them because we got away.. though I'm assuming I was him the entire time

 

Is it strange that I want to have my worst nightmare of all time, again, to find out answers? I've been wanting this nightmare again for two weeks to find out more answers, but it never happens lol

Edited by JCDallas
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

It's just a friggin dream. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The dream does not define you or give you any insight about yourself--other than you tend to have vivid dreams.

Link to post
Share on other sites
It's just a friggin dream. It has nothing to do with who you are as a person. The dream does not define you or give you any insight about yourself--other than you tend to have vivid dreams.

 

That is true, I guess I just have a feeling this is trying to tell me something..

Link to post
Share on other sites

As a kid I used to have a recurring dream about a gold coloured monster who would walk down my street looking for anyone he could find. I'm not sure what he would do if he did find someone but it wouldnt be good. I'd have to hide anywhere I could so he could not see me. This dream happened several times and I never told anyone, it didnt really seem to bother me much. Then one time after I had that dream again I told my mother about it. She dismissed it as stupid kid's stuff. I never had the dream again! So I am wondering if now, since you've told us about your nightmare, if it will cease to happen again. I'd like to know if you do have it again.

Link to post
Share on other sites
As a kid I used to have a recurring dream about a gold coloured monster who would walk down my street looking for anyone he could find. I'm not sure what he would do if he did find someone but it wouldnt be good. I'd have to hide anywhere I could so he could not see me. This dream happened several times and I never told anyone, it didnt really seem to bother me much. Then one time after I had that dream again I told my mother about it. She dismissed it as stupid kid's stuff. I never had the dream again! So I am wondering if now, since you've told us about your nightmare, if it will cease to happen again. I'd like to know if you do have it again.

 

Interesting, thanks for your reply. I mean, I talked to my mother about it like a day or two after it happened too, she knows what I've been going through. I guess maybe it was just a one time thing, and really the answer was anxiety and nothing more? I don't know, Ive just been doing a lot of soul searching lately

Link to post
Share on other sites

As someone who has had nightmares often, I've done some basic research in the past on why we dream what we do. Essentially, what we dream can be about / can be impacted by whatever we are preoccupied with mentally, what we have absorbed throughout the day, what we've seen before going to sleep (that's why watching the news or anything negative before going to bed is a bad idea), any impacting experiences, our sleeping conditions (e.g. are we sleeping comfortably in a tranquil environment?), etc.

 

My personal recommendation is to not believe every dream meaning you read about because a lot of factors (which I mentioned above) come into play. The average person has around four to six dreams per night. Sleep cycles are also relevant. Ideally a psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to give you some clarity on how your dream might be relevant.

 

Please be aware that I am not a specialist on the topic. Here's a well researched article on Healthline (https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-do-dreams-last#rem-sleep-time) if you want to learn more about dreams. You can check out the article's sources by clicking on the orange + sign.

Link to post
Share on other sites
As someone who has had nightmares often, I've done some basic research in the past on why we dream what we do. Essentially, what we dream can be about / can be impacted by whatever we are preoccupied with mentally, what we have absorbed throughout the day, what we've seen before going to sleep (that's why watching the news or anything negative before going to bed is a bad idea), any impacting experiences, our sleeping conditions (e.g. are we sleeping comfortably in a tranquil environment?), etc.

 

My personal recommendation is to not believe every dream meaning you read about because a lot of factors (which I mentioned above) come into play. The average person has around four to six dreams per night. Sleep cycles are also relevant. Ideally a psychologist or psychiatrist should be able to give you some clarity on how your dream might be relevant.

 

Please be aware that I am not a specialist on the topic. Here's a well researched article on Healthline (https://www.healthline.com/health/how-long-do-dreams-last#rem-sleep-time) if you want to learn more about dreams. You can check out the article's sources by clicking on the orange + sign.

 

Thanks for your reply. I definitely do have some nights where I have more than one dream, usually those I can remember 3 of the dreams.. But I don't remember every detail of all of them. Then there's times like that one I described above where it was just one long dream that felt like I was trying to watch a real life movie about what's going on in my head..

Link to post
Share on other sites
Hey guys. I want to share a nightmare I had with you guys I had two weeks ago, I talked with my therapist about this, and I think the two of us are misunderstanding it. What do you guys think? I'd love some more opinions of this..

 

Some Backstory: I'm a 26 year old straight male from New Jersey. I've been suffering from HOCD, Anxiety, and Self Doubt about my sexuality for seemingly forever now, but very heavily over the last 2.5 months, it's all I think about.

 

Okay so have any of you seen the Michael Myers Halloween Movies? The ones that are played every year on Halloween night, the guy with the mask?

 

Well anyway, I had a nightmare about 2 weeks ago now that I'm still trying to figure out. So Michael Myers, the movie character, was in my dream, locked inside this heavily guarded room or door whatever you want to call it. He tries desperately to get out, and he does. The dream cuts to the real life version of me, who is not far from this, but also not close either, starting to worry and panic, and start running away far far away, like Jamie lee curtis in the movies. The dream then cuts back to michael myers character, who we assume (we dont see what happens, but we assume) he kills the people guarding the door, who were just random not real actual people, just made up) and he starts searching for his next victim, which I know is me because I'm the reason he was put in that room. Somehow, the character finds a knife in the dream, and does whatever he can to get to the real life version of me, attacking anyone in his way (you dont actually see any people get killed & the people in the dream are not based off anyone in real life but you know thats what happens because its like the movie) anyway somehow he walks by a mirror, and you see a reflection of the mask, and the person behind the mask. the person behind the mask is myself. So there's this insane version of myself that's been locked in a jail like room for so long, attacking people and people around me, that is after the real version of myself. Eventually, this character reaches me, I trip over and am cornered. I don't remember if in the dream the character version of myself takes off his mask or if I just knew it was myself, but anyway the character reaches me, offers his hand out like he's asking for help. I start to think if I take his hand I become him. I don't do anything and I wake up.

 

My therapist and I originally thought this character represented the anxiety that's in me and not knowing how to deal with it or how to accept it..

 

I'm wondering now if it represents the homosexuality or bisexuality version of myself that I've been either ignoring, or keeping locked and hidden away for so long, and I feared if I took that hand to help the character, I'd become my worst nightmare and all my real hopes and dreams would be over? I don't know, it was the worst nightmare I've ever had.

 

Its just I've never loved a guy, never had a crush on a guy, never did anything other than be friends with a guy, never did anything sexual around men, never thought of a specific man, never had any temptations to hook up with a guy in real life, I would admit if I did, but I'm 26 years old and it just would have happened.. I've just been doubting myself for awhile now, and it's been bad lately.

 

I've had this character in my nightmares before, but we never see the face in any of the other nightmares, he was just threatening family but never actually got to them because we got away.. though I'm assuming I was him the entire time

 

Is it strange that I want to have my worst nightmare of all time, again, to find out answers? I've been wanting this nightmare again for two weeks to find out more answers, but it never happens lol

It's fun to think that there is some profound meaning in our dreams or something prophetic, but it's just our minds thinking without us controlling it. Movies tend to make us believe there is greater importance in dreams. Like Anakin Skywalkers dreams coming true, or even Nightmare on Elm street where dreams are real. And just like horoscopes and fortunes, plenty of people claim to be able to make sense of it, but nobody can. We just like to be a little dramatic about these things.

 

Dreams are just a mish mash of things we know that come out in a weird order. There are no answers.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's your dream and if you are feeling that it's representing a hidden sexual side, then you would know more so than anyone else.

 

Just say for instance you are bi or gay. What's the big deal? It's only the modern society that has seen this as something unnatural, when in fact many generations and cultures before this one, seen as it completely natural and another type of sexuality.

 

There is nothing wrong at all with being bi or gay. Your first step is to come to acceptance of it, whether it be with other people or yourself. Bi or gay is not wrong, nor is it anything to be upset about.

 

Secondly, if the day ever comes that you do realize you have a crush on another man, again...so what? It's not a huge deal and it's no different than having a crush on a woman.

 

Try to erase the stigma from it and all the bad thoughts you've somehow been taught to associate with it.

 

I think if you can do that, the dreams will slow down. Your therapist is right as well to some degree, as you are obviously having a certain amount of anxiety over this.

No need to be anxious. Accept different types of sexuality, accept yourself and don't stress. Life is too short.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It's an interesting dream. There are certainly elements of "you are your own worst enemy" and "you are running from yourself" in it.

 

But there's also the possibility that Mike Myers is really just you and therefore not all that bad. He's been misunderstood and really just needs a hand.

 

Maybe the "random people" he killed represent unimportant beliefs that have imprisoned a part of you that needs to be acknowledged.

 

Or, it could actually mean nothing at all.

 

I had a boyfriend who passed by a window in his dream and, instead of seeing his own reflection, he saw mine! Does that mean I'm his secret identity? Hell no.

 

What I learned from my therapist years ago, is that dreams are very subjective. Yes, there are books (and websites) that deal with symbolism, but it really comes down to what feels like the right interpretation for you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've read your previous posts about your sexuality and commented. I'm not too sure about your dream.... But as someone with a psychology bachelor that learnt a lot about Freud, yes dreams can be subconscious and psycho analytical and so forth. But I'm sure it's very difficult to know the meaning unless someone is a therapist trained in psycho analysis.

 

I'm not a therapist at all but because you've been posting about your sexuality a lot, I can try to take a guess at your dream meaning. Personally I think you seem really scared of what your sexuality might be. You seem worried and maybe scared of stigma if you were bisexual or gay? You're trying to run away from it. That's what I think maybe the dream represented.

Link to post
Share on other sites

You've mentioned in your previous posts that you're newly attracted to men. But it seemed to me like you're trying to convince yourself that you're not. Because you've never been with a guy or had a crush on a guy. You don't need to have done that to know you're into guys. At some point every straight person is a virgin, never been on a date or kissed anyone. Does that mean they doubt they are straight?

 

This reminds me of what happened to my old housemate. She was pretty sure she was a lesbian but narrow minded people were saying to her: " But you've never been with a guy, you've never had a penis. How can you say you're lesbian, you need to try a guy". So she slept with one guy and she said the minute the sex started, she knew: "Yep, I'm definitely a lesbian".

 

Sexuality just is and you don't need to have done anything with anyone to have that sexuality. Why are you so afraid to be bisexual? I've been bisexual/pansexual for 21 years and it's mostly been pretty great! Lol

 

If you're not then that's fine but if you were, is that so scary? Is that horror movie scary? Lol

Link to post
Share on other sites
Personally I think you seem really scared of what your sexuality might be. You seem worried and maybe scared of stigma if you were bisexual or gay? You're trying to run away from it. That's what I think maybe the dream represented.

 

Yes! Good point--Mike Myers might simply be his fear of being gay, not actual gayness.

Link to post
Share on other sites

It sounds like you would be better off getting a complete evaluation by a physician MD. It would be a shame to not rule out other issues or address things that could be treated medically. Talk therapy is great support, but make sure you are not dealing with metabolic, neurological or other issues. For example many thought disorders manifest in the mid 20s. Apparently the talk therapy is only helping slightly if you are getting worse and now having nightmares..

I talked with my therapist about this. I've been suffering from HOCD, Anxiety, and Self Doubt about my sexuality for seemingly forever now, but very heavily over the last 2.5 months, it's all I think about.
Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for your replies, everyone, all of which are very helpful. I don't know why I'm afraid of the chance I could be bisexual. I guess because literally everyone around me isn't, they're either straight or they're gay, and no in between and almost everyone in my area is completely straight, I can count on just over two hands the people I know in real life who are gay, I don't avoid them or anything, one of my closest cousins is a married lesbian and I love her very much as a cousin, it doesn't change the way I think about her. I was always completely straight for my entire life, and all of a sudden a few thoughts randomly pop up in quarantine that stick with me, they feel real at times, but I strongly believe they are false attractions, though there are times where I think maybe I could be different than what i thought I was for 26 years, and living a lie to myself, my family, my friends, when I consider myself one of the most honest people there are, I almost never lie about anything, I tell the truth as often as I possibly can? But Like deep down I've never had a real true attraction to men in real life, and don't think about specific men the way I do girls, so it's just so confusing to me..I've wanted one thing for my entire life, since I was a teenager, this is all I've wanted, and I never really thought twice about it until recently, and that's a relationship with a girl that leads to marriage and hopefully kids, and the fear of maybe I'm lying to myself about the number one thing I want in life more than anything in the world isn't sitting well with me.

Edited by JCDallas
Link to post
Share on other sites

If I may take a gamble at interpreting your dream it seems to me that you are in conflict with your current reality.

 

Are you actually content with the way your life is at the moment? Are you happy with who you are (and I don't necessarily mean this in terms of sexuality)? What life do you actually envision for yourself? No need to answer those questions, but you might want to explore these on your own or with a trained specialist.

Edited by greendots
Link to post
Share on other sites
If I may take a gamble at interpreting your dream it seems to me that you are in conflict with your current reality.

 

Are you actually content with the way your life is at the moment? Are you happy with who you are (and I don't necessarily mean this in terms of sexuality)? What life do you actually envision for yourself? No need to answer those questions, but you might want to explore these on your own or with a trained specialist.

 

That's an interesting way to put it. I mean, overall, I'm fairly content with my life. Is it absolutely perfect? No. Not in the slightest. But I'm doing okay for myself. I have two jobs in the career I went to school for, and I'm working towards something bigger and better than both of those. I have a great set of friends I wouldn't change for the world and I love my family very much so. The only things I wish were different about myself were my confidence in myself in general, maybe if I had my own place by now, though it's okay that I don't, I'm still pretty young. if I had more long-term experience with women, and this constant self doubt was over, but other than that I'd say I'm very okay with how everything has turned out, there's some things that I wish were better though.

Link to post
Share on other sites
That's an interesting way to put it. I mean, overall, I'm fairly content with my life. Is it absolutely perfect? No. Not in the slightest. But I'm doing okay for myself. I have two jobs in the career I went to school for, and I'm working towards something bigger and better than both of those. I have a great set of friends I wouldn't change for the world and I love my family very much so. The only things I wish were different about myself were my confidence in myself in general, maybe if I had my own place by now, though it's okay that I don't, I'm still pretty young. if I had more long-term experience with women, and this constant self doubt was over, but other than that I'd say I'm very okay with how everything has turned out, there's some things that I wish were better though.

 

Glad to read that you are content about your life in general! Having said that, you now revealed what you are in conflict with. E.g. Lack of confidence and self-doubt. Again, if I may take another gamble.... out of the things that you wish were better, some are more pressing to you and these are the things that you are most likely mentally worried about. Hence, your dream or at least part of it.

 

Anyway, I hope I was of help. If not, I apologise. I'm not an expert but enjoy dream theory at times.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

So, do you think maybe this is all a type of anxiety and not actually being gay? There is a type of anxiety like this, and it's based more on an OCD type of anxiety as it's thought that keeps cycling. People think about what if they might be, or what might happen (fill in the blank) and they get anxious over it and then continue doing the same cycle over and over without the chance of the fear even being real.

 

It's more or less just a thought and you're attaching anxiety to it.

 

What would work best in this situation is if the thought comes, and you reply to it with..."So what". At first it will seem strange and you won't believe yourself, but the more you practice it and the more you say it to yourself, the less the fear becomes a threat.

 

If you get the thought.."what if I am gay? Or what if I do eventually have a crush on a man?" Instead of having an anxious reaction, change the reaction to a nonchalant one and say.."so what".

 

You then take the power away from the fear, (which is what could be keeping the cycle going) and it has less threat to continue in your mind.

 

Because realistically, even if you were bi or gay, it's not a huge deal, you'd find a way to deal with it, as would others around you, and life would go on.

 

Sometimes the mind is bored and finds things to do to keep itself busy so to speak, and this might be all it's doing being as you have a lot of time on your hands right now.

 

Try not to stress over it. It's all good either way.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Maybe you are asexual since you do not desire relationships with men or women and prefer to live at home and allow your parents to veto any woman you have attempted to date and spoke poorly about.

 

In fact no women you attempted to date went anywhere and never met your parents or went to your home, even mos into it. Also you dislike intimate acts with women.

 

You seem to have no motivation to get your own place and pursue more adult relationships with anyone, men or women. Consider that sex/relationships are just not important to you. Have you considered that you simply prefer the life of an adolescent?

I love my family very much so. The only things I wish were different about myself were my confidence in myself in general, maybe if I had my own place by now, though it's okay that I don't, I'm still pretty young.
Link to post
Share on other sites
Maybe you are asexual since you do not desire relationships with men or women and prefer to live at home and allow your parents to veto any woman you have attempted to date and spoke poorly about.

 

In fact no women you attempted to date went anywhere and never met your parents or went to your home, even mos into it. Also you dislike intimate acts with women.

 

You seem to have no motivation to get your own place and pursue more adult relationships with anyone, men or women. Consider that sex/relationships are just not important to you. Have you considered that you simply prefer the life of an adolescent?

 

But the thing is, i very much do desire to be sexual with women, I think about how much I want it all the time, I just really either don't know what I'm doing due to lack of experience or don't want to pressure the girl into doing things she doesn't want to, it has to be right for both of us, and I have only gotten to that point with a girl once and I didn't really know what I was doing so I didn't get to fully enjoy the experience the way i would have liked to..

 

The reason I dont have too much motivation to move out on my own right now is because I'm still pretty young, I mean I'm 26, I'm trying to save up as much money as I can while I can, and then move out when the time is right and I feel like I can make it and live comfortably, or at least close enough, I'm kinda close to that point but not quite there, plus with the lock down it's not like I can do a whole lot right now anyway..

 

My parents are just protective of me, because they care, though I agree sometimes maybe a little too protective at times, that's all..

 

I very much desire to be physical with a woman long term, I just dont have a ton of good experience and I dont want to hurt or pressure the woman, that's where I'm at with this..

Edited by JCDallas
Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok it's sort of a catch-22, no? You want more experience with women before you date women? Start slowly and get to know them.

I just really either don't know what I'm doing due to lack of experience or don't want to pressure the girl into doing things she doesn't want to, it has to be right for both of us, and I have only gotten to that point with a girl once and I didn't really know what I was doing so I didn't get to fully enjoy the experience the way i would have liked to..

Link to post
Share on other sites
Ok it's sort of a catch-22, no? You want more experience with women before you date women? Start slowly and get to know them.

 

I know that I don't rush those things, hence why I've only had sex with one person lol, thanks though!

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...