Preoccupation with body image

[kim42]

Hey everyone, I am back and feeling much better than last week. To answer your questions, we are pretty healthy in family, my mom is nit overweight, she's not skinny either she is trying to lose weight herself. Both m aunt and my cousin gained a lot of weight when they were pregnant. I am definitely one of the skinnier women in our family.

Batya, I agree that getting older doesn't mean gaining weight, what I meant is that 10 years ago I was still at high school with zero curves, was really skinny back then. My body changed a lot when I was 21-22, I didn't expect that.

I hope my family will be more understanding next time I visit.

[Leah33]

Sometimes people make negative comments about appearance because they are dissatisfied with their own.

 

If someone is going to criticize me for my body type then you better be in better shape than me otherwise move along.

[kim42]

Sometimes people make negative comments about appearance because they are dissatisfied with their own.

 

If someone is going to criticize me for my body type then you better be in better shape than me otherwise move along.

 

I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.

[Leah33]

I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.

 

That's good.

 

Sometimes family are the toughest critics of all it seems.

[Batya33]

I know my mom means well, I explained her how these remarks make me fell and I thinks he understands now. Then we have some other members of my family I need to set boundaries next time.

 

Good news!!

[Billie28]

If you are truly secure , no one can make you feel insecure.

Is it possible you are magnifying others comments? Because you actually don’t feel secure with your body?

 

I was surprised that you suggested sharing a pic of yourself?

To me that screams insecurity and wanting external validation!?!

 

So while you are “defending” yourself , it’s not out of a sense of security but more about responding to not getting the external validation you desire?

 

Your talk of smaller pizzas etc suggests you are very insecure with your own body image.

That’s sad since it certainly sounds like you have no issues wrt body size and shape.

 

Be honest.

Who is more concerned about your body? Your mum or you?

[kim42]

If you are truly secure , no one can make you feel insecure.

Is it possible you are magnifying others comments? Because you actually don’t feel secure with your body?

 

I was surprised that you suggested sharing a pic of yourself?

To me that screams insecurity and wanting external validation!?!

 

So while you are “defending” yourself , it’s not out of a sense of security but more about responding to not getting the external validation you desire?

 

Your talk of smaller pizzas etc suggests you are very insecure with your own body image.

That’s sad since it certainly sounds like you have no issues wrt body size and shape.

 

Be honest.

Who is more concerned about your body? Your mum or you?

 

Hi Billie, I wanted to share a picture not to get validation but more like some sort of feedback. I mentioned I am pretty okay with how I look but since my family was making all these remarks I was worried I had become delusional.

I am not asking people for external validation, I don't need people telling me I am skinny, I know very well myself I am not super skinny.

My question was more like how to be okay with myself if my family keeps telling me those things.

[reinventmyself]

I've been called skinny all my life. Well, maybe not as much now. Lol. I lean more to average, but still slim.

 

For the most part I heard it as a compliment?, maybe even envy. . but at some point it just gets old. `You are sooo skinny' Well, not really. My bmi is normal and I've just managed to not have problems maintaining it. I just got lucky with the good side of the family gene pool.

 

I do remember someone I hadn't seen in a while made the comment in an almost, loud aggressive way. People turned heads. Mind you, she has always struggled with her weight so I assume that's where it came from. For the first time I didn't hear as a compliment. I felt annoyed. I don't comment on peoples weight skinny or not. It's personal and what would be the point? Can I comment loudly on her weight? I think not. Please don't draw attention to mine.

 

If you want to pay me a compliment, then tell me I look nice, or you like my shoes. Skinny isn't always heard as a positive, but honestly I think people might be trying to pay you a compliment in a backhanded sorta way.

 

Your relatives. . I just think of that old school mentality, `Let put some meat on those bones!' I can hear my extended family say and then they put some pot roast and pie in front of me.

 

I dunno. I think people are more comfortable if your weight is more average than slim. I can't explain it. For reasons I don't understand my weight has often been the topic of conversation. Why? I don't know. That along with a sarcastic `must be nice!' followed with an eye roll.

 

I get it's a weird thing to complain about. But it doesn't really get old.