audreyowenss Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year, which I know isn’t that long, but he’s the first guy I’ve ever really felt in love with. I’ve lost many firsts to him, and we’ve made great memories. For the past few months, I have not been happy with him. We stopped saying i love you, being intimate, or even seeing eachother often. I tried breaking up with him and getting space, but he came to my house and bought me a bunch of expensive gifts and made me feel awful. He also told me I was the only thing he had in life, and that he wouldn’t live without me. Now I’ve been stuck unhappy and don’t know how or what to do. He acts like this is normal, and ignores me when i say i’m unhappy. I’m not the type of person to be honest with how I feel, but I’m just not in love anymore. I’ve also never broken up with anyone, so I don’t know how to do this the “correct” way, does anyone have any tips/ advice, it’s very much appreciated! Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 If you're absolutely sure he's not the one for you then bundle up all those expensive gifts and give them back to him when you tell him that you haven't changed your mind about breaking up, thank him for your time together, tell him its best you both go zero contact now so that you can process the break up and then leave. Please, no matter what you do, don't do it over text or email. Do it in person and be kind but firm in letting him know you've made up your mind. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 I like what Thatwasthen suggested. I too would return the gifts -you don't have to but given his instability you don't want him to start contacting you about them. Keep it simple and to the point -not the whole "you're so amazing but" -just say you made a mistake in trying again and unfortunately the relationship is not working for you. And you wish him well. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted January 25, 2020 Share Posted January 25, 2020 I agree with the others. Also dont let him manipulate you and worm his way back into your life. Link to comment
Cherylyn Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Be honest, tell the truth and I agree with others, return the gifts graciously and diplomatically. Breakup in person only; no texts, emails, messages, voicemails, etc. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Sorry to hear this. Talk to your parents or trusted adults about this. This is possessive manipulative controlling behavior. Read up on dating Red Flags. You need to end things in a firm definitive way then delete and block him and all his people from all your messaging apps and social media. You are not "stuck' in anything, you need to stop stringing him along and end it. I’ve lost many firsts to him. He also told me I was the only thing he had in life, and that he wouldn’t live without me. Now I’ve been stuck unhappy and don’t know how or what to do.! Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Oh brother, now you have a stalker. You should cut contact. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted January 26, 2020 Share Posted January 26, 2020 Cut the cord and be done with it. Link to comment
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