Peanut450 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 New partner is going away on a men only holiday. We have been seeing each other only 5 months but have a good thing established. He is fit and active but has been trying harder to get in shape for this vacation. It makes me feel uneasy as to why the increased concern regarding his physique. Is this normal when people go on vacation or more indicative he plans to cheat? Link to comment
arjumand Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Is it a holiday full of fitness stuff -- hiking, kayaking, etc? Maybe he wants to perform better than his friends or just show off his body. Men tend to be competitive. Don't just jump to the worst conclusion. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Many people diet and try to shape up for vacations, particularly if swimsuits, shorts etc are involved. It's a stretch to construe that as a secret plan to cheat. Link to comment
Peanut450 Posted August 22, 2019 Author Share Posted August 22, 2019 No it’s not a fitness holiday. It Has been planned a while and is in a party location. Yes I don’t want to jump to conclusions .. I just Feel a little suspicious he is trying extra hard to be in great shape for it so that he will attract more women Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 If you believe he is a cheater why are you in a relationship with him? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Yikes! Are you that worried he'll cheat? Why is that? He can cheat just as easily in your location with a few ounces of flab, he doesn't need muscles and a tan to cheat. You can't keep anyone on a leash. Relax. I just Feel a little suspicious he is trying extra hard to be in great shape for it so that he will attract more women Link to comment
Andrina Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 It's best to trust a partner unless a clearcut sign of cheating slaps you in the face. Secrets never say secrets for long. The only control you have is being a great gf. If that's not enough for him and he is a cheater, you will eventually find out and then you can leave. As for now, just as you would like him to trust you when you have girl's night out, etc., you should do the same for him. Link to comment
RedDress Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 This is a situation where you either trust him or you don’t. Realistically - what are you going to do about the situation? Ask him to stop working out so much? Sabotage his diet with cookies? Break up with him because he could possibly cheat? IMO - you have to put this into the greater context of the relationship. Is he generally loving and committed, trustworthy and loyal? Or is he a little shady, hot and cold, flirts regularly with other women, etc. I don’t think this is anything that you can make any determination on. I think it’s potentially a piece to a bigger puzzle and you need to step back and look at the whole. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 I always try to lose before vacaying, as I know I will be eating things I should't. Link to comment
maew Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 Unless it's completely out of character (he went from being a sloth to being obsessed with going to the gym) I don't see why this is an indication that he is up to anything shady. I like to look good when I go on vacation too... my gym routine doesn't change much as I already go quite often, however I always make sure I am very well groomed before I go away... hair, nails, tan, brows, etc. It helps me feel more confident, self-assured and relaxed. Link to comment
LC8328 Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 imo it's really hard to tell based on the little info you've given us about him. How does he treat you? Does he respect you? How is your communication, etc? I could see why you would be nervous he'd want to cheat, but there are plenty of explanations for wanting to get fit. Let's also remember that on vacations, people take a lot of pics. And if he's going swimming in a pool or on a beach, then he's going to want to feel good about his body. Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 First of all, most long distance relationships don't work out. Sure, some people cheat when out of town, but that's rare and for those who lack integrity. I think you are reaching. Do you have trust issues? Were you cheated on in the past? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted August 22, 2019 Share Posted August 22, 2019 New partner is going away on a men only holiday. We have been seeing each other only 5 months but have a good thing established. He is fit and active but has been trying harder to get in shape for this vacation. It makes me feel uneasy as to why the increased concern regarding his physique. Is this normal when people go on vacation or more indicative he plans to cheat? I'm not sure how you're associating being fit with cheating. Do you feel insecure about your own body type or have issues with your self-image or how you compare to him fitness-wise? I'm not certain this has anything to do with infidelity in general and ideas around cheating seem to be the scapegoat. Do you feel compatible regarding your lifestyles and interests? Link to comment
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