Still in shock

[To nice]

I'm just venting. The thing is. If she wanted out. Just say so. Don't make up a BS excuse and make it seem like all my fault. Or make yourself look like a victim. That's so hurtful. I have a look of pride and really I am a good person. And it worries me what people may think of me now. I know I shouldn't but it's in the back of my mind.

[SherrySher]

That's how some people are, they want out but are too cowardly to do it properly so they use you as the reason and blame you for all of it.

 

I am sorry you had to run into someone like this.

 

I know it sounds trite, but best you can do is learn the lessons, gain experience and move on, as hard as it might be.

 

Time heals all wounds.

[To nice]

That's how some people are, they want out but are too cowardly to do it properly so they use you as the reason and blame you for all of it.

 

I am sorry you had to run into someone like this.

 

I know it sounds trite, but best you can do is learn the lessons, gain experience and move on, as hard as it might be.

 

Time heals all wounds.

 

And not even face to face or even a call. It was through a text mins before my flight to work . She called me immature lol and to top it. She bowed lol furniture from the house. I even asked as hard as it may be just tell me the truth. I even said if you can't do it over the phone. Just text it. Bad enough this happened but I was also away at work.

 

Even the last day home she wanted to go for breakfast and even asked for me to pick up take out. After all this I asked if she was taking me to the airport 20 mins away. I got no. I have work 3 hrs later and I will be to tired. She works 4 hrs that day lol.

 

I'm really starting to see her true colors it's hard to take in knowing I was so wrong

[qwert97]

And not even face to face or even a call. It was through a text mins before my flight to work . She called me immature lol and to top it. She bowed lol furniture from the house. I even asked as hard as it may be just tell me the truth. I even said if you can't do it over the phone. Just text it. Bad enough this happened but I was also away at work.

 

Even the last day home she wanted to go for breakfast and even asked for me to pick up take out. After all this I asked if she was taking me to the airport 20 mins away. I got no. I have work 3 hrs later and I will be to tired. She works 4 hrs that day lol.

 

I'm really starting to see her true colors it's hard to take in knowing I was so wrong

 

Are you sure she is not with someone else, and is just giving excuses to break up with you and get with the other guy. The same thing happened to me sometime ago.

[To nice]

That's how some people are, they want out but are too cowardly to do it properly so they use you as the reason and blame you for all of it.

 

I am sorry you had to run into someone like this.

 

I know it sounds trite, but best you can do is learn the lessons, gain experience and move on, as hard as it might be.

 

Time heals all wounds.

 

Are you sure she is not with someone else, and is just giving excuses to break up with you and get with the other guy. The same thing happened to me sometime ago.

 

 

At this point I dont know and if so I don't want to know . If so it's very low of her.

[Wiseman2]

When you see your role in all this including the poor judgement of having her and her brood move in after 7 mos dating, you'll stop feeling so sorry for yourself and blaming her for everything. You were desperate and lonely before you met her and lived in an 'empty house". And now you are again. Address that. Were you on the rebound when you met her? What was your last relationship like and how long before you met this woman did that end? How long did it last? Did that woman run also? Insight would help you tremendously in coming to terms with everything rather than positioning yourself as victim of a very short lived fling.

[To nice]

When you see your role in all this including the poor judgement of having her and her brood move in after 7 mos dating, you'll stop feeling so sorry for yourself and blaming her for everything. You were desperate and lonely before you met her and lived in an 'empty house". And now you are again. Address that. Were you on the rebound when you met her? What was your last relationship like and how long before you met this woman did that end? How long did it last? Did that woman run also? Insight would help you tremendously in coming to terms with everything rather than positioning yourself as victim of a very short lived fling.

 

Actually it has been many years since my last long term. I was very happy just doing my own thing. I wasnt desperate in any way. I would say it was her that was feeling that. I see it now. I wasnt by no means on the rebound. My last relationship was over 3 years long. It ended on her part because of personal issues. Nothing to do with me

 

The empty house part was just the fact she was gone and how see made it nice in her way I didnt have a problem living alone.

 

I've had many opportunities to be with women but chosen not to. So when I met her it seemed very right.

[No1]

blah blah blah, excuse, excuse, excuse... Until you accept it is over, you are going to feel this way. Choice is yours

[To nice]

blah blah blah, excuse, excuse, excuse... Until you accept it is over, you are going to feel this way. Choice is yours

 

Easy said then done

 

I do know she is not coming back. I think its harder knowing she left over something I'm not.

 

I have accepted its over. Are feelings still there ? Of course they are. Only time will fix this

[To nice]

I am struggling with this. It's over but I still love her. To very bad things to have going on.

[To nice]

I stayed in last night and it was the worst. So many things running through my head. I put my trust in her and all I was nothing to her. It shows when she can just pick up and leave so fast for no real reason.

 

If she wanted out should have just left. She just made it seem like it was my fault for no reason. And just days before made a big commitment together. And now I'm left on the hook with it.

 

She wrote a few things and it's like where the hell did that come from.

 

Dont flame me for venting or talking about it still. I really is hard for me

[Wiseman2]

She did just leave.

If she wanted out should have just left.

[boltnrun]

You really can't do a thing about what she thinks, writes or says about you. You can get upset, ruminate obsessively about it, let it ruin your day, but none of those things will change it.

 

Try to work toward acceptance and letting go of what you can't control.

[To nice]

You really can't do a thing about what she thinks, writes or says about you. You can get upset, ruminate obsessively about it, let it ruin your day, but none of those things will change it.

 

Try to work toward acceptance and letting go of what you can't control.

 

 

I could accept it much easier if there wasnt a made up excuse that does not represent me. Oh I am trying I'm keeping busy it's like having to go to court and being charged with something you never did.

 

And why should I be on the hook for everything that was done in good faith on her part. She freaking stole from my house. And stupid me I gave her a chance to make things right on her end. Not the relationship part.

I work hard for everything I have. She left the house in a mess. If anything she should live up to her obligations.

[boltnrun]

I could accept it much easier if there wasnt a made up excuse that does not represent me. Oh I am trying I'm keeping busy it's like having to go to court and being charged with something you never did.

 

And why should I be on the hook for everything that was done in good faith on her part. She freaking stole from my house. And stupid me I gave her a chance to make things right on her end. Not the relationship part.

I work hard for everything I have. She left the house in a mess. If anything she should live up to her obligations.

 

How is focusing and obsessing about all of that helping you?

[To nice]

It's not helping but a decent person would live up to there obligations

[SherrySher]

But she's not a decent person and you need to come to terms with that.

 

Stop living in the fantasy world of the past and what you believed. Look around you and see how she's treated you and realize that the majority of what you had was a lie.

 

She's not the person you believed she was.

[boltnrun]

It's not helping but a decent person would live up to there obligations

 

How long do you want to continue like this?

[To nice]

You really can't do a thing about what she thinks, writes or says about you. You can get upset, ruminate obsessively about it, let it ruin your day, but none of those things will change it.

 

Try to work toward acceptance and letting go of what you can't control.

 

How is focusing and obsessing about all of that helping you?

 

But she's not a decent person and you need to come to terms with that.

 

Stop living in the fantasy world of the past and what you believed. Look around you and see how she's treated you and realize that the majority of what you had was a lie.

 

She's not the person you believed she was.

 

I broke some of my rules this evening. We had a bit of a email battle about the issues. Not the relationship. I was all for taking this as far as I could.

 

Then the kids were mentioned and I froze. Its bad enough they had to move out and I'm sure they are wondering. But to pursue this with small claims and a police report I cant do it I know she might have played the kid card with me . Even so I can't do anything that might jeopardize there well being. It would haunt me even more so then the break up.

 

 

So I'm going to be the more adult here and just let that part go. The well being of the kids is more important.

 

I'm positive this will help me feel better

[Wiseman2]

Take photos and carefully document any damages and itemize things that were taken. Send her a certified letter with a bill for the items, damages and cleaning services. She may not pay, but it's about all you can do. The costs of an attorney is probably not worth it. Take her to small claims court, keep in mind even if you get a judgement, collecting would be your problem in the long run.

And why should I be on the hook for everything that was done in good faith on her part. She freaking stole from my house. She left the house in a mess.

[To nice]

I'm not pursuing any of it. The longer I drag this out the harder it's on me. And I would rather not have the kids see anything or hear. I think its best I do it this way.

[No1]

I stayed in last night and it was the worst. So many things running through my head. I put my trust in her and all I was nothing to her. It shows when she can just pick up and leave so fast for no real reason.

 

If she wanted out should have just left. She just made it seem like it was my fault for no reason. And just days before made a big commitment together. And now I'm left on the hook with it.

 

She wrote a few things and it's like where the hell did that come from.

 

Dont flame me for venting or talking about it still. I really is hard for me

 

 

No one said it was going to be easy. Getting over a heartbreak sucks. I think most if not all on here have had their heart broken, but also moved on. One day you will too. Seems to me you are still believe she owes you something. As if you are holding her to the promises she kept. Or you feel like you should be a big "thank you for being there" medal or a really clear explanation on why. I can tell you that sometimes you just have to accept the now and quit expecting or think you are entitled to answers. Part of letting go is just accepting the result and forget the reason.

Your mind is probably still trying to figure out at what point did it all start to unravel. And truth be told, she might not have any idea. I don't think she woke up and said this is it, I don't want to be with him. If you were to ask me. I think she used you for what she wanted and when the time came to make a big commitment, her motives were going to be exposed and she made up any excuse to break up with you. I had a girl break up with me one time because I helped out a female friend who was stranded by giving her a ride home. So don't think it was YOU that did this, it was HER.

As I said, you have the choice to accept what happened regardless of reason, or you can continue to question and keep on spinning your wheels.

[To nice]

No one said it was going to be easy. Getting over a heartbreak sucks. I think most if not all on here have had their heart broken, but also moved on. One day you will too. Seems to me you are still believe she owes you something. As if you are holding her to the promises she kept. Or you feel like you should be a big "thank you for being there" medal or a really clear explanation on why. I can tell you that sometimes you just have to accept the now and quit expecting or think you are entitled to answers. Part of letting go is just accepting the result and forget the reason.

Your mind is probably still trying to figure out at what point did it all start to unravel. And truth be told, she might not have any idea. I don't think she woke up and said this is it, I don't want to be with him. If you were to ask me. I think she used you for what she wanted and when the time came to make a big commitment, her motives were going to be exposed and she made up any excuse to break up with you. I had a girl break up with me one time because I helped out a female friend who was stranded by giving her a ride home. So don't think it was YOU that did this, it was HER.

As I said, you have the choice to accept what happened regardless of reason, or you can continue to question and keep on spinning your wheels.

 

Thank you. I'm past the part of she owes me. I'm not expecting or wanting it anymore. I knows the truth with it.

 

The thing is there wasnt a single problem. And we were so happy what we told the kids 5 days before.

And really what the disagreement was about was bs to leave the way she did. She came into money so when you start adding stuff up. You see what kind of person she is and why she left.

 

I did help her out but that's what you do. All I said was I will help and cover things until you get back on your feet. Her reply was I will pay you back and thank you. Well everyone knows what happened lol

Each day is getting a bit better and less of a sting but it will take time especial how it all took place

[No1]

Im not talking about owing you money or anything material. Im talking about owing you explanations, apologies, reasons to why and how all this happened. In all honesty, you will eventually get all of your answers but it wont be when you want it, it will happen naturally.

In the end, you will find someone else who will make you happy and treat you right. Look forward to that.

[To nice]

Im not talking about owing you money or anything material. Im talking about owing you explanations, apologies, reasons to why and how all this happened. In all honesty, you will eventually get all of your answers but it wont be when you want it, it will happen naturally.

In the end, you will find someone else who will make you happy and treat you right. Look forward to that.

 

Thank you. I knows it will get better and the part of knowing why will not bother me anymore