Self defense for a child - necessary?

[charity]

Thank you everyone for your advice and stories. I have listened and taken all of it in. I have decided not to purse the classes. His choice and feelings need to be respected and forcing this on him is making the situation worse from his perspective. My heart was in the right place but it was also coming from a place of fear and protection and that is not the way I want to live my life or teach my children to live their lives. I think I will focus instead on teaching him about the importance of being observant and making strong friendships. I will do as catfeeder suggested (thank you) and have a nice chat with him. He really has handled his situation as well as anyone could have. Thank you everyone for sharing your opinions and perspectives, very much appreciated. Charity

[abitbroken]

I didn't get to page 3...but have to say if the other child's words didn't bother your son and it just washed off his back, I would not "prepare" your child to fight. Often as soon as a kid realizes he/she doesn't get a rise out of one kid, he/she will move on. Some defend themselves through humor, some just simply are not affected. if this kid cannot push his buttons and the teacher/principal knows the child is violent, sure sports can increase the confidence level of your child but i would do it for confidence, not to learn how to "karate chop" someone. If its confidence, a kid can get confidence from jobs well done in other sports or hobbies as well. I think learning problem solving and communication is more apt here. But your son seems to be okay. He ALSO seems to have friends, so that is half the battle. He is not isolated and often bullies give up on kids that have other kids.

 

It could be this kid is violent because he is a bully or maybe he has an IEP and the teachers know about him - he has problems expressing his feelings, has RAD, etc.

 

Maybe you can explain to your son that some kids aren't really bad kids, but they get very frustrated because they can't always use their words well - so hit things, etc, instead. Its not to excuse the child, but to make a point and to teach your son other tactics -==ie. tell principals and teachers, and only listen/talk to the child when they are being calm and nice. etc.

 

If the principal and teachers are "on" it then praise your son for handling things maturely

[itsallgrand]

Hi itsallgrand, sorry for my late response. He's is fit and active - no hugely so - but certainly enough I would say. He will join any bunch of lads playing a game of football or basketball but is not interested in actually joining a team. For him, physical exertion needs to be a lot of fun and pleasure as well. This class did not offer that.

 

Right, martial arts may not be his jam. And that's ok!

 

I think you've shown a lot of thought in this, and that made me smile.

[Batya33]

You are such an awesome mom and an inspiration I hope things improve soon for your son.