Is it ever a good idea to confront the person trying to break up your marriage?

[abitbroken]

I’m still reading. I don’t have anything new to add but still trying to figure it all out. Oh and to the poster who asked my husband and I both lost our first spouses to cancer. We met in a support group.

 

that is so sad :( I am sorry for your loss.

How long between the time you lost your spouses and when you married? how long was it from the time you met/started dating to marriage?

Did he know this woman while his life was alive?

[DancingFool]

I’m still reading. I don’t have anything new to add but still trying to figure it all out. Oh and to the poster who asked my husband and I both lost our first spouses to cancer. We met in a support group.

 

Ouch....I'm sorry for your loss and at the same time I was afraid it was something like that. Two people clinging to each other over a shared grief, hardship, loss.....fast forward some years down the road, once all that pain is healed and what do you actually have in common with each other? The trouble with getting involved in a romantic relationship when you are down and out and is that two broken halves don't make a whole. You are literally bonding over misery loves company. So I would ask again, when you remove that misery, what kind of a relationship do you have? What's bonding you today? Serious questions to explore.

 

As for the other woman, whatever you do, please don't contact her. She knows he is married and she knows what she is doing. To her and women like her, this is a sick ego trip - can she steal a taken man. You approaching her will be seen exactly for what it is - your relationship is weak and your husband isn't willing to up boundaries. All it will do is encourage her to pursue harder. So, instead of focusing on her, focus on your relationship with your husband. What's really there between you and what can be done better?

[spunkmire]

Go find a man text buddy for yourself and see how he feels - maybe he will see the light when the shoe is on the other foot.

 

two wrongs don't make a right

[Jennifer2018]

a little different spin ..

What are they texting about? Is it work? I think my husband texts and chats for work stuff all the time. I think there are women involved. Not a big deal.

The bringing him gifts is odd.

Is he affectionate with you?

Is there anything else that indicated that he might be cheating?

[shellyf62]

Listen very carefully to your female intuition.

My ex had a "friendship" with a female at work.

I found the chats, how much they loved each other blah blah blah

She was married as well, and he even invited her & her husband to our house for dinner while they were having an affair.

 

I knew something was off, but couldnt put my finger on it.

 

If it feels wrong it probably is.

 

I wish you luck with this, its a horrible position to be in

[Peachy1]

Nooo do not confront her. If you do she will want him even more. Don't ever make her feel that you are threatened by her because it will show that your relationship isn't strong. And you are showing her your weakness. Do nothing.

 

And with your husband, i would wait and see how much more texting he is doing and try not to let him know that you feel threatened. I know many will not agree with this but the more you focus on her the more attractive she will become to him. It s like when you tell a child to not eat the candy. The more delicious that candy will look and child will want it even more. It s human nature. If he says they are just friends just ask him to get her and her husband over for dinner if they texted a lot and he has excuses like she's a good friends or whatever. And trust me as much as you don't wanna see her, the dinner and coffee will never happen anyway if there's something more going on. If he's innocent he'd get you to meet her if they r such good friends. See how your husband behaves. If he agree to bring that couple over and you will be able to judge whether it is a threat to your marriage or not. During dinner be very sweet and charming to your husband.. kisses and touching but don't over do it. Be subtle. Mark your territory..we r too busy being insecure but marking territory is the key. Don't hiss at your hubby Infront of her. Also be nice to her and try to be genuine.

 

This way is better way to deal with this issue than trying to stop him from texting her. He will keep texting her if he wants to text her and will probably hide better if you confront him.