giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Hi everyone! So I hired a personal trainer whom I’m extremely attracted to, I know I know lol. I want to ask her out but not sure how. We only had 3 sessions and she’s very professional so I can’t even gauge if she’s interested. I have her number so I thought about just calling / texting her instead of asking during one of our workouts. What do you think? Is the direct approach a good idea? Should I wait until a few more sessions? Although I hired her I am in a trial period where the sessions are free so I haven’t paid yet and not contract bound. Thanks !!! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Bad idea! If she started dating clients she would soon have no client base. If you want to date her, change to a different trainer before you ask her out. And BTW, are you sure she's single and available? Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 Yeah I thought about that. I’m not really in a rush to change trainers since I’m so new to fitness. Switching trainers first seems way more drastic. I believe she’s single yes Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Of course you're attracted, no doubt she is extremely fit, smoking hot bod, combined with the attention she gives you during your sessions. You and every one of her clients. No do not ask her out. You're not that special (sorry). She probably gets this a lot and is tired of it, it gets old. You are a client, don't embarrass yourself and make things awkward. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 You'd probably end up changing trainers anyway if she says no. She could say no, I don't date clients. Or no, I have a boyfriend. Or, no thank you with no reason given. Would you continue working with her if that happens? Link to comment
Annia Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 I agree with what everyone has said, besides, you can risk her job depending on the gym's policies and rules. She's there to work, not to date. I'd find it a bit disrespectful if I were her but to each its own. Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 I wouldn’t change trainers, I don’t think it would be awkward. It’s much more than just her hot bod and the attention, she seems like a really sweet girl. I am asking for the best way to ask not if I should or shouldn’t Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Best way to ask; change trainers. Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 I hear what you guys are saying but I just see it as a simple, hey do you want to go out. It’s a yes or no. I don’t see it as much of a big deal. I’m just concerned about making it difficult since it is her work Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 Thanks boltnrun I’ll consider it since I still have that option Link to comment
BreadStick Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Have you considered that she is sweet because it is her job to be sweet and kind? The more comfortable you feel the more likely it is you will continue to work with her. Not saying she is not a sweet person, but don't base her attitude during your sessions as her personality. Of course she is good looking, she is a trainer, she is used to the attention. She probably gets hit on all the time, almost daily if not daily by men who oggle her whiles she works out (believe me, my sister tells me these stories all the time, she is super fit and at the gym daily), it's creepy to women, you won't stand out, you will be just another one of those guys without boundaries, who imagine her naked and want more. This is her job, I would find it disrespectful if I was her, to be hit on because I am doing my job and being polite to men. If I were you, I would completely scrap that idea. Or if you really want to ask her out, change trainers, she won't want to work with you or be comfortable working with you afterwards regardless,knowing you have a thing for her. It's creepy if you are not interested in the guy. Don't take this badly, because it is nothing personal to you but believe me when I say you won't leave a good impression. How do you know she is single anyway? An attractive woman like that likely is taken or has many suitors, how are you planning to stand out among the 3 clients who hit on her weekly? Link to comment
indea08 Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 The others are correct. You shouldn’t ask her out at all. You’re in a business relationship with her. If you really must ask her out, end your business relationship with her first. Link to comment
SGH Posted February 16, 2019 Share Posted February 16, 2019 Have to agree with literally every other poster. If 10 strangers all hear your plan to ask someone out and advise you to not do it, you might want to consider actually not doing it. If you just hired a personal trainer, my guess is you're not in the best shape of your life. On top of it being inappropriate to ask her out, the chance of her saying yes is nearly zero. Save yourself the pain and have use the professional relationship to improve your body, so finding some other fit woman is easier. Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 16, 2019 Author Share Posted February 16, 2019 I guess you guys are right I’ll keep it professional and just enjoy the crush for what it is Link to comment
Editionml3 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Ya don't do this haha. Please Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 She likely gets this all the time from clients, and while it might not be awkward for you if you ask her out and she declines, I guarantee it will be awkward for her. She would probably request from her employer not to train you thereafter. Respect that this is her work place, and don't go there. If she feels something more, and feels comfortable getting to know you outside the gym, she will make it known to you. If she doesn't, you need to assume she is not interested. I say this as someone who also teaches adults, and some of my male students have in the past made passes at me or flat-out asked me out. My workplace strictly forbids relationships of this nature, but even if it wasn't against policy (and if I were single, which I am not) I still would not feel comfortable accepting. I am working and prefer to keep my personal life completely separate from my professional life. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 As a woman who for work deals with men in one on one situations, let me just say please No. It is so distracting to have to think about how to keep someone else from [choose: asking me out/thinking that I want him to ask me out/thinking about me as someone whom men find sexually interesting] that it sometimes inhibits how well I do my job and at other times I feel isolated. The other side of the coin: I go to a personal trainer who works with my body in ways that would feel intimate from anyone else, but from him just feel mechanical and effective. If either one of us asked out the other it would ruin everything, and I would lose this little happy place of athleticism that I have. Next time you see your trainer, imagine she is Ron Burgundy. Link to comment
giraffeprint Posted February 19, 2019 Author Share Posted February 19, 2019 Thank you both, I get it. That was my initial hesitation, I usually refrain from hitting on women in their workplace. I’ll keep at that rule. Thanks for your insight from the other side Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Thank you OP for hearing and respecting our feedback Link to comment
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