ThatwasThen Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 He's playing you, *vinta.* If he really wants to be with you tell him to call you when/if he's single. Tell him you have enough friends and you're looking for a romantic partner, not another chum. Gather up your self-respect and stop playing this guys game. He's grooming you for something suspect. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 Interesting that he finally admitted that all he wants is fwb. The gf and son are not your concern.I talked to him yesterday and he said he wants to start as friends. We've never been friends just chased each other. but what about his girlfriend and her son? Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 WOW thanks for all of the replies and support forum! he invited me to a VIP happy hour to raise money for a good cause and he didn't say if she was going to be there or not, he's a little bit distant at times, but I know he's busy with work and stuff so I can't expect him to always make time for me, but Tuesday I will be at that event .... Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 7, 2018 Share Posted September 7, 2018 WOW thanks for all of the replies and support forum! he invited me to a VIP happy hour to raise money for a good cause and he didn't say if she was going to be there or not, he's a little bit distant at times, but I know he's busy with work and stuff so I can't expect him to always make time for me, but Tuesday I will be at that event .... Please don't do anything more than that... Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted September 7, 2018 Author Share Posted September 7, 2018 Please don't do anything more than that... Yes Ma'am!!! I'll be on my best behavior... I am going to tell him that I can't have a FWB, and I won't date him till he leaves his GF. Thanks forum! Ill be back Wednesday to tell you what happened...:icon_sad: Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 8, 2018 Share Posted September 8, 2018 Yes Ma'am!!! I'll be on my best behavior... I am going to tell him that I can't have a FWB, and I won't date him till he leaves his GF. Thanks forum! Ill be back Wednesday to tell you what happened...:icon_sad: remember - if he's willing to emotionally cheat on his girlfriend with you, he'll do the same to you. honestly, i would look for someone new Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 9, 2018 Share Posted September 9, 2018 remember - if he's willing to emotionally cheat on his girlfriend with you, he'll do the same to you. honestly, i would look for someone new Yep. Once you take a front row seat to witnessing someone's capacity for disloyalty to anyone else, you can't unsee that. You may enjoy a future 'win' for about five minutes before it occurs to you that you've now been promoted from the one who saw disloyalty to the one who receives it. I'd rethink that. Link to comment
goodbyehello Posted September 11, 2018 Share Posted September 11, 2018 What the other posters have said here, being your friend while in a relationship is emotional cheating at best, and just stringing you along as backup at worst. Additionally, it speaks volumes about his integrity and quality as a long-term partner. The best negotiating position for you is to calmly but clearly communicate that you're only interested in being his lover, not a friend, and that he should give you a shout if he is single. Best of luck to you! Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 NOPE. He is friendzoning you immediately to try and get you as a side piece. This is exactly what my recent ex did, or at least tried to do, when she moved away, and then started a new relationship. My interpretation of this is you just got dumped to back-up plan status while he continues with his current lady. When a dumper X says "But can't we still be friends?", you say "no". Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted September 14, 2018 Share Posted September 14, 2018 I'm guessing it didn't go to plan. Yes Ma'am!!! I'll be on my best behavior... I am going to tell him that I can't have a FWB, and I won't date him till he leaves his GF. Thanks forum! Ill be back Wednesday to tell you what happened...:icon_sad: Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted September 17, 2018 Author Share Posted September 17, 2018 I'm guessing it didn't go to plan. The VIP party was fun but it all went downhill from there. We made no plans, we said not words about the future, we didn't talk about anything, he brought his girlfriend and I friended her on Facebook. This situation is absolutely ridiculous to say the least. If anyone expects me to comment right away, I can't because I work and have strict social media rules and I can only get away for seconds at a time.... Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted September 17, 2018 Share Posted September 17, 2018 I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe its time to tell him that you can't be his friend, take them off your social media, and stop contact. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 18, 2018 Share Posted September 18, 2018 He has a gf. Rather than getting on her social media, delete both of them and stop monitoring his/their activity. he brought his girlfriend and I friended her on Facebook. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 he brought his girlfriend That's usually your cue to go out and find your own man. You have no business there. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 Vintagevilla, reading this thread again, it is like watching a train crash happening. You are going to end up badly hurt here. You need to do what is best for you, and you need to do it now. I may not know what that is, but hanging around this guy who you love, only as his platonic friend, hanging onto shards of hope, while he parades his girlfriend in front of you, isn't it. In your OP you said: How can I pass up a chance of a lifetime here? He has made it clear to you there isn't one. Not now, anyway. You really need to do what the ladies said on page 3 - tell him not to contact you again unless he is single and wants to reconcile with you. Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted September 19, 2018 Author Share Posted September 19, 2018 Vintagevilla, reading this thread again, it is like watching a train crash happening. You are going to end up badly hurt here. You need to do what is best for you, and you need to do it now. I may not know what that is, but hanging around this guy who you love, only as his platonic friend, hanging onto shards of hope, while he parades his girlfriend in front of you, isn't it. In your OP you said: He has made it clear to you there isn't one. Not now, anyway. You really need to do what the ladies said on page 3 - tell him not to contact you again unless he is single and wants to reconcile with you. Well, he has basically blocked me now on everything because I didn't chat with him at all last weekend . I guess HE wants to have his cake and eat it too. Thanks RayRay, you are very sweet for telling me Im going to get badly hurt, I think I am hurt ...At first the idea of him having a girlfriend didn't really bother me, but it really hit home when I talked to her and I realized Im jealous, yes the ugly head of jealousy...maybe he still just does want me for FWB, who knows. I am still friends with his girlfriend and I cried myself to sleep the other night because he took pictures of himself buying her new clothes for 'London' next Christmas. We spend a week in London during Christmas and now he is taking her???? That's our special place. I have blocked him everywhere except one place. We don't talk anymore. Thanks everyone for your advice. I do have another bit of news. We had talked previously about going on a weekend together this weekend to Las Vegas. I guess no plans since I have not heard from him he can just go on about his own way and play 2 girls at once but I can't handle it, I am jealous, very very jealous and I cry a lot because of it. Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted September 19, 2018 Share Posted September 19, 2018 . I am still friends with his girlfriend Block her as well. We had talked previously about going on a weekend together this weekend to Las Vegas. I guess no plans since I have not heard from him . That (very large) piece of the jigsaw puzzle has quite possibly clarified what is going on here. He has a girlfriend. Tells girlfriend he has this female friend who is a long term friend - i.e. you. Tells her he and you are going to Vegas as old (platonic) friends. Like Jerry & Elaine. May not be his real intention. Girlfriend says - well if she's just a friend I should meet her. He invites you to the party, and doesn't tell you girlfriend is coming. Girlfriend talks to you, facebooks you etc. Girlfriend has sussed out what you are looking for. Girlfriend says to him, you need to can that Vegas trip, and you need to cut off contact with her. He complies. Girlfriend, however, keeps you on facebook so she can check up on him by looking at your page. #amiright? Anyone else seeing this train crash? Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted September 24, 2018 Author Share Posted September 24, 2018 Block her as well. That (very large) piece of the jigsaw puzzle has quite possibly clarified what is going on here. He has a girlfriend. Tells girlfriend he has this female friend who is a long term friend - i.e. you. Tells her he and you are going to Vegas as old (platonic) friends. Like Jerry & Elaine. May not be his real intention. Girlfriend says - well if she's just a friend I should meet her. He invites you to the party, and doesn't tell you girlfriend is coming. Girlfriend talks to you, facebooks you etc. Girlfriend has sussed out what you are looking for. Girlfriend says to him, you need to can that Vegas trip, and you need to cut off contact with her. He complies. Girlfriend, however, keeps you on facebook so she can check up on him by looking at your page. #amiright? Anyone else seeing this train crash? RayRay, I realized that what you are saying is true! I blocked her on Facebook He texted me last night but I didn't reply I ended up going to Houston this weekend to visit friends and stayed busy not letting the complete and huge let down of not going to Vegas sink in. I have realized that this is a dangerous game Im playing and I need to play by the rules. Thanks for your advice, I really can't believe you actually figured out the situation , KUDOS to you Ray Ray!!!!! Link to comment
vintagevilla Posted October 18, 2018 Author Share Posted October 18, 2018 So guess what I did, I named one half of my appliances after My Ex, the air fryer, mini food processor and coffee maker are all named after him. I guess I’m a bit of a fan of someone...and yes we got back together and I cannot tell you what a truly lovely relationship this is this wonderful gentleman of mine... Link to comment
RayRay63 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 Hang on, are you saying you went into to NC with him... ... and he came back and committed to you? (And dropped the party girl in the process?) If so, result Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2018 Share Posted October 18, 2018 And this made him run back to you? 🤣So guess what I did, I named one half of my appliances after My Ex, the air fryer, mini food processor and coffee maker are all named after him. Link to comment
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