He's driving me crazy.

[kittycat1234]

Hello,

Sorry not the best at writing in general!

I've been dating someone for about 5 months and it's driving me crazy. I have known this guy for years but wasn't very close.

To make things more complicated we work together.

The first couple of months was exciting and easy.

The first time we spend the night together seemed amazing until I arrived home and received a message saying he regrets the night and needs his space away from me. I was really upset and hurt I felt used in a way.

About 48 hours later he messaged me again saying he was sorry he wants to take me out again.

 

After that I forgave him and we had a great day out. A couple of days later we watched a movie together and he told me he was falling in love with me.

I spent the night at his. Over the next couple of days I realized the text messages was getting shorter or he didn't even respond to me at all.

I was fed up and thought I would forget about him.

About 3 weeks later at work suddenly he was being really flirty at work where he asked me out for coffee and even told me he wanted to kiss me at work.

I told him his been very distant lately and I'm hurt by him. In the end we went out for coffee and talked which was lovely. He told me he would take me out sunday as we both had the day off work.

It got to saturday I messaged him where are you taking me tomorrow? He never replied and we didn't go out sunday.

 

I got really fed up and didn't speak to him.

After I had a 2 week holiday off work which made it easier not to speak to him.

The night before I was due back to work I received mean messages from him saying he doesn't want to see me again outside of work, he wants to forget everything that happened between us.

The next day at work I was on shift with him and he kept trying to talk to me.

He said he doesn't understand why I'm ignoring him and why I'm in a bad mood.

I may seem crazy but I feel like his playing with my head.

He asked me during the shift can we meet up after work and just talk about everything.

He has a lot on his mind that he needs to tell me.

I must be the most stupid person on this planet but I agreed I wanted to hear what he has to say.

We met up and he was lovely. We talked for hours and I had a really great day out.

He told me he really liked me and we should plan a proper day out in the city.

 

About 2 days later I messaged him asking when are we going out? he told me he can't :( His having mixed feelings about me.

I just replied back ok. We shouldn't meet up again outside work.

About 3 days later he sent me a message asking me to go out with him that day.

I kept my answer very short and replied back no.

A couple of days later he asked me again which I said no. He replied back with he misses me.

The next day he wasn't working but I was.

He came into work and kept looking over at me and tried to start a conversation with me which I ignored and served customers instead.

When he realized he wasn't going to get my attention he left.

I'm worried because in 3 days time I'm due to be on shift with him alone! How should I act? Should I keep ignoring him or listen to whatever he has to say?

I'm really scared he would get into my head again he is a very manipulative man.

[SGH]

This guy sounds completely nuts. There may be more to the story that I'm missing, but based on what you wrote here, you should absolutely ignore him. He has played games with your head throughout the whole involvement and continuously tries to press the reset button with you! I'm a strong believer that we teach people how to treat us. I understand everyone wants to give second chances to people they like, but he's on his fifth or so run with you. Never let people reject you more than once. I guarantee if you believe a word this guy says that he will turn around with the same wishy washy BS again. You deserve better and need to make it clear through action that you know you do.

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he says/does whatever it takes to keep this on the hookup level. Don't date the office flirt/wolf and let this happen:

[MissCanuck]

My guess is that he's also seeing someone else. When he thinks the coast is clear or when he's not out with another girl, he asks you out and then backs off if he thinks his cover might be blown or if another option comes up. His behaviour is typical of someone seeing more than one person at the same time, which would be his prerogative, but he's treated you very dismissively and disrespectfully.

 

I would keep it professional at work, and not engage in chat unrelated to your jobs. You need to stop allowing yourself to go along with his whims; as you can see, it's gotten you nowhere and he's not reliable at all. His words are meaningless because there's action behind them. I know it feels good when he does pay attention and sweet talk you, but you need to remember how crappy it feels when he disappears again soon after.

[charity]

He's a player. He wants you when you back off. He has no interest in you otherwise.

 

You are perhaps enjoying the drama? I don't know, I can't understand why you would allow someone to treat you in such a demeaning manner and keep going back for more.

[Batya33]

He's not that into you and it shouldn't be this hard this early on. Yes, it's that simple. It's not simple for your ego but if you can put your ego aside analysis beyond what I suggested is really a waste of time other than figuring out what you are getting out of this by sticking around throughout all of this.

[Hollyj]

Damn! Why are you letting this guy treat you like this? You should have been done after he distanced you the first time.

 

Stop allowing people to treat you like this. Girl, where is your self respect?

 

Block and delete. Look for another job!

[Hollyj]

It sounds like he says/does whatever it takes to keep this on the hookup level. Don't date the office flirt/wolf and let this happen:

 

LOL. I missed these!

[figureitout23]

He's manipulative but you played the game and even threw a couple of blows yourself....

 

Hell youre asking for advice on how to manipulate the situation.

 

You're both guilty in my eyes.Get off the crazy train.

[HeartGoesOn]

As long as you continue to participate, he holds the upper hand. Is he that important that you're willing to stand for this?

 

Respect yourself.

[catfeeder]

Dance away lovers only want you after you back away. Until then they mistreat you so you'll back away. It's all about 'winning' you back so they can mistreat you again.

 

Skip that, there's nowhere to go with someone like this.

 

Mistreatment is mistreatment. You get to decide when you've had enough.

 

I'd be professional on the job, which means civility when conducting business and nothing more. Better yet, unless this is a career-making job, I'd consider whether it's time to find a better job--and I'd learn my lesson about using my workplace as a dating pool.

 

Head high.