Problem Child Out Of Control - Please Help!!!

[abitbroken]

Well most were right, we gave them an opportunity to go the fathers this past weekend only to pick them up (both boys) and to have the 11yr old crazy tired (couldn't keep his eyes open in the car, yet alone slept almost all day ) because of being up all night playing "games" with no supervision or adult intervention, and our 10yr old (*the one i started the thread on) looking like he lost 5 lbs (secondary to medication issues) but also because there is no intervention to allow him to eat more (he eats there, so there no question of that just the fact that he isn't being monitored with activity (they have a pool) so calories out vs calories in to offset medication loss of appetite -

 

So the question is to look into supervised visitation or not allow them to go there period - the father claims the 11 yr old waited until everyone went to sleep to play games so he was lying how he wasn't up all night, and the 10 yr old he had no comments on just that he was "good"

 

So around and around we go, my wife seems to think i should call him and express concern (ive done this before with no luck or even an ounce of smart responses ) bc her stress levels with all this is very high ...

 

Your wife should not use you as the "bad guy" - she needs to deal with her ex husband or the mediators/child welfare/counselors do - which maybe the latter is better.

Maybe supervised visits are not what is needed - but maybe just no overnights - so dad has them just enough hours where he gets to spend time with them but not enough hours for him to need a break from them or where they would be left to their own devices - a time period where its short enough where he would be interacting the whole time. And if it doesn't get better, then maybe supervised visits? or just not the child that is the problem overnight?

[Silverbirch]

I am no doc, but I've worked in the human services field for many years, and I cant help but feel like there's a missing diagnosis. I could be completely wrong, but has he ever been assessed for autism?

 

Same here. I worked in disability for many years and this child sounds like he is definitely on the spectrum. I hope that you manage to have a good respite service he can go to a tines so that you two can get some time together.

[Seraphim]

My son wa misdiagnosed ADHD and is actually autistic. Mild autism is often missed or misdiagnosed. My son was not actually diagnosed correctly until a week before his 17th birthday . Even though I knew he was autistic for years .

[Carceses123]

@Mr Adversity do you try to go on a counselling or a behavioural therapy? This might be the key in understanding your children's behaviour.

[Wiseman2]

It's a step-child. The partial-custody father and mother have an acrimonious situation and the child is in a tug-of war because the parents spend all their time blaming each other for parenting failures. This step father is caught in the crossfire with a disruptive developmentally disabled step child who stays at the house quite often. Sadly both biological parents refuse to get along, go to joint therapy, agree on a treatment or parenting plan. Thus the child and everyone else suffers.

counselling or a behavioural therapy? This might be the key in understanding your children's behaviour.

[abitbroken]

Also the bit about it being like you look right through them. Gaze anomalies and lack of eye contact is also telltale autism. Again, I'm no doc, but everything I read that you said screamed autism to me.

 

Its also a sign of a vision problem -- lack of eye contact and gaze issues. A little girl in my neighborhood was labeled autistic but it turned out she had a number of vision issues and she was too young to tell someone where she saw the doctor's pen move. They put some serious glasses on the tiny tot and she did a 180 in communicating, eye contact, verbalizing, and everything else