Urgent help needed, he thinks I lied, when I didn’t!

[Batya33]

Thank u, I’ve put the best of me out there since the beginning and in this short time I’ve been with him I have been as true in my heart as can be except the fact that I love him so much for who he is but I never declared if u consider this a lie.

 

It's not a lie to choose not to share one's personal feelings. Is it possible you wanted him to find out you were "active" on Tinder as sort of a test to see if he'd get jealous? I'm a little surprised you'd download it and go to all that trouble without realizing it would show you as active on the site.

[Lilly26]

It's not a lie to choose not to share one's personal feelings. Is it possible you wanted him to find out you were "active" on Tinder as sort of a test to see if he'd get jealous? I'm a little surprised you'd download it and go to all that trouble without realizing it would show you as active on the site.

I really thought deleting app was good enough not to show u up anymore. I’ve been asking around apparently many people are under the same impression. No I wud never do something like that to make him jealous. I really love this guy and even regardless it’s not in my character to do things like that to make men jealous. He had stopped msging me last thing he msgd was its ok as a friend says basically it means pxss off. I’m devastated.

[Batya33]

I really thought deleting app was good enough not to show u up anymore. I’ve been asking around apparently many people are under the same impression. No I wud never do something like that to make him jealous. I really love this guy and even regardless it’s not in my character to do things like that to make men jealous. He had stopped msging me last thing he msgd was its ok as a friend says basically it means pxss off. I’m devastated.

 

I'm confused because you said you downloaded the app again for your friend

 

"since she doesn’t have the app she asked me to download so she searches to see if this specific guy she was looking for in my vicinity was on there. " So you knew downloading it could make you show up again - so all this guy knows is, when he's away, his friends tell him you're back online (or maybe he was on Tinder himself since you're not exclusive) - I understand that you didn't want to try to make him jealous but it's not adding up that you downloaded it knowing what could happen. And if you're not exclusive it shouldn't matter- he can date others and so can you -so it sounds like he is trying to do "gotcha" and come up with an excuse not to get involved seriously with you. I had two experiences in real life where someone I was dating and someone I was serious with (two different guys) saw me out with a platonic male friend - in one case dancing with him harmlessly, in another case at a restaurant having dinner. In one case it was basically the end of our dating relationship because he was just a crazy jealous type and we'd only been out a few times and in the other case since he knew this friend he understood why I was out at the restaurant and why I hadn't told him in advance (because we were on a break and in no contact). It depends on the level of trust, the length of the relationship, whether it's a lie and what it has to do with.

 

 

If this guy and you are not exclusive, you can be on Tinder but aside from that if you told him you're no longer active on Tinder you cannot appear to be active by showing up on his friend's matches. If he thinks you "lied" about being "active" on Tinder I get that that's a separate issue for him -it's about the lie not the exclusivity. But you explained it and either he buys it or he doesn't. I wouldn't buy it, personally, if I were him unless we'd been together quite awhile and I knew the friend you downloaded it for, etc and I already had built up a lot of trust. Because if you've told someone you are no longer active on a site and you're going to go on it again for all his friends to see -especially a known hook up site -you clue in your boyfriend first so he's not hearing it from other people. Not because it's inconsistent with an exclusive relationship but because it's inconsistent with what you told him and he doesn't know you that well yet. It took time to download the app -it wasn't just a click. You had time to text him in advance to let him know about your friend. Something doesn't add up with your choices.

[Lilly26]

I'm confused because you said you downloaded the app again for your friend

 

"since she doesn’t have the app she asked me to download so she searches to see if this specific guy she was looking for in my vicinity was on there. " So you knew downloading it could make you show up again - so all this guy knows is, when he's away, his friends tell him you're back online (or maybe he was on Tinder himself since you're not exclusive) - I understand that you didn't want to try to make him jealous but it's not adding up that you downloaded it knowing what could happen. And if you're not exclusive it shouldn't matter- he can date others and so can you -so it sounds like he is trying to do "gotcha" and come up with an excuse not to get involved seriously with you. I had two experiences in real life where someone I was dating and someone I was serious with (two different guys) saw me out with a platonic male friend - in one case dancing with him harmlessly, in another case at a restaurant having dinner. In one case it was basically the end of our dating relationship because he was just a crazy jealous type and we'd only been out a few times and in the other case since he knew this friend he understood why I was out at the restaurant and why I hadn't told him in advance (because we were on a break and in no contact). It depends on the level of trust, the length of the relationship, whether it's a lie and what it has to do with.

 

 

If this guy and you are not exclusive, you can be on Tinder but aside from that if you told him you're no longer active on Tinder you cannot appear to be active by showing up on his friend's matches. If he thinks you "lied" about being "active" on Tinder I get that that's a separate issue for him -it's about the lie not the exclusivity. But you explained it and either he buys it or he doesn't. I wouldn't buy it, personally, if I were him unless we'd been together quite awhile and I knew the friend you downloaded it for, etc and I already had built up a lot of trust. Because if you've told someone you are no longer active on a site and you're going to go on it again for all his friends to see -especially a known hook up site -you clue in your boyfriend first so he's not hearing it from other people. Not because it's inconsistent with an exclusive relationship but because it's inconsistent with what you told him and he doesn't know you that well yet. It took time to download the app -it wasn't just a click. You had time to text him in advance to let him know about your friend. Something doesn't add up with your choices.

 

Yes and thank you for taking your time to write to me. You see I always thought something was weird that every time you delete tinder and say reinstall it again as I have had in the past 4 years that I have used it; the entire profile and pix and chats come up. I really thought it’s one of those apps say Facebook whatever that people say u can never get rid of. Just when this situation happened I asked my brother and he told me you can only do it thru the settings so I had to download again quickly before anyone sees me and do it properly.

 

I really had no intention to seeing anyone cuz if you read my previous posts u will see that I am absolutely madly attracted maybe too premature to say in love but not far from that for this guy.

What I did for a friend was really an innocent mistake but yet again I’m afraid no matter what I say this amazing guy won’t believe me. I remember he once told me that he doesn’t judge people by one incident and instead watches out for patterns of behavior. I hope he also applies that analogy to me too. I have not lied a single time to this guy and on the contrary have been so caring and giving; that’s why I think it’s so unfair to be misjudged. I hope to see him soon really I’m counting hours so I hold his hand look in his eyes and say it to his face. He is a trained NLP so really I think he can see I’m saying the truth. I know thou it’s not gonna clear over night but I am praying to god that this won’t be the end of us. He repeatedly tells me ever since he has met me his life has turned for the better. I hope he keeps our relationship and more and if not god forbid there isn’t anything I can do and then just say destiny had it for me.

[Starlight925]

Forgive me for being so blunt, but you sound actually....scared? fearful? eggshells? with this guy.

 

It was an innocent mistake. You explained it. It should be over. You are ruminating on it, turning it over and over and over in your head, when you should be more worried about putting together your next cute date outfit, or what nail polish to change to.

 

I get that you're overthinking this because you like him so much, but it seems as if it's coming from a place of fear. Of possibly losing him over this. Like, you can't have any missteps, or he'll leave. He has this power over you, that you need to not let him have. Let this just be a one-time mistake, that you've already explained, and you're done with. Don't let this become any sort of pattern in your relationship, where you make a mistake, he gets upset, and you spend too much time and energy apologizing, making better, smoothing out. That's not healthy.

[Batya33]

Did you tell him you were no longer on Tinder? If you did and then you were on tinder even if you weren’t looking then that’s a lie. You were on tinder again. Obviously since you weren’t on tinder to look for another man that’s different but all he knows is that you said one thing and did another. It doesn’t matter if he’s a trained NLp. It depends what his values are about lying when the lie isn’t really if any substance - it was an innocent mistake - but some people are really careful about lies early on when it’s more of a first impression. I would dial back the intensity. You’ve known him a very short time.

[Lilly26]

Forgive me for being so blunt, but you sound actually....scared? fearful? eggshells? with this guy.

 

It was an innocent mistake. You explained it. It should be over. You are ruminating on it, turning it over and over and over in your head, when you should be more worried about putting together your next cute date outfit, or what nail polish to change to.

 

I get that you're overthinking this because you like him so much, but it seems as if it's coming from a place of fear. Of possibly losing him over this. Like, you can't have any missteps, or he'll leave. He has this power over you, that you need to not let him have. Let this just be a one-time mistake, that you've already explained, and you're done with. Don't let this become any sort of pattern in your relationship, where you make a mistake, he gets upset, and you spend too much time and energy apologizing, making better, smoothing out. That's not healthy.

 

You are a very sweet person thank you and yes u are right. I am one of those characters who dwells into topics too much. But I’ve done my apologizing and I’ll try to be less fearful of loosing him. If someone wants to stop such an amazing connection it’s their loss;)

[Lilly26]

Did you tell him you were no longer on Tinder? If you did and then you were on tinder even if you weren’t looking then that’s a lie. You were on tinder again. Obviously since you weren’t on tinder to look for another man that’s different but all he knows is that you said one thing and did another. It doesn’t matter if he’s a trained NLp. It depends what his values are about lying when the lie isn’t really if any substance - it was an innocent mistake - but some people are really careful about lies early on when it’s more of a first impression. I would dial back the intensity. You’ve known him a very short time.

 

Yes I did tell him I’m no longer there as again I reiterate I thought by deleting app I’ll be invisible and unacceptable to other men hence not being there any longer. My worry is he repeatedly like 7 times said it’s ok!!!!

[Batya33]

Yes I did tell him I’m no longer there as again I reiterate I thought by deleting app I’ll be invisible and unacceptable to other men hence not being there any longer. My worry is he repeatedly like 7 times said it’s ok!!!!

 

But you reinstalled it on your phone for your friend, right? If he said it's ok take it at face value and live your life and if he wants to see you when he gets back he'll let you know. Time to move on and accept that he might not choose to be in touch again and that you did what you could to explain the misimpression

[figureitout23]

Yes I did tell him I’m no longer there as again I reiterate I thought by deleting app I’ll be invisible and unacceptable to other men hence not being there any longer. My worry is he repeatedly like 7 times said it’s ok!!!!

 

Why is it freaking you out? What's the underlying issue here?

 

We're obviously not there so I can only ask how he states the words and how you took them.

 

Does he keep saying 'it's ok' because you keep bringing it up to the point that it's annoying and he just wants you to stop.

 

Or does he keep bringing it up and saying it's ok, and it's making you question how serious he is about things.

 

Honestly my impression is the first option based on this post alone, it just doesn't seem like that big of a deal for people who aren't even exclusive yet.

[Lilly26]

Why is it freaking you out? What's the underlying issue here?

 

We're obviously not there so I can only ask how he states the words and how you took them.

 

Does he keep saying 'it's ok' because you keep bringing it up to the point that it's annoying and he just wants you to stop.

 

Or does he keep bringing it up and saying it's ok, and it's making you question how serious he is about things.

 

Honestly my impression is the first option based on this post alone, it just doesn't seem like that big of a deal for people who aren't even exclusive yet.

 

Yes u r fight maybe I’m just dwelling but his tone is so cold. I haven’t lied about not being there. Cud it be that he is taking our relationship to the next level punishing me over tinder saying that now we are together so give up on it now meaning tinder or just just ego that the friends he always talks about me with spotted me there?!

[Lilly26]

But you reinstalled it on your phone for your friend, right? If he said it's ok take it at face value and live your life and if he wants to see you when he gets back he'll let you know. Time to move on and accept that he might not choose to be in touch again and that you did what you could to explain the misimpression

 

He got back last night, I msgd him today kinda like a welcome back thing like I always do. Again he was coldish. He has some item with me that he wanted help fixing and so I did and was asking where he cud collect them from. I told him they are fixed and with me and I can bring it over to him and help install; to which he replied well today is super busy day at work and don’t worry I can install them myself.

 

He hasn’t gotten over it, I can feel it honestly I put out the best of me forth with him I’m so anxious u have no idea. I’m afraid I have lost him

[Batya33]

How long have you been dating him regularly in person? Not 5.5 months, right? I don't think you ever really had him to lose him and I say that because the things you write about him seem to be more about how you feel than who he really is, and who he really is, in person. You put him on a pedestal and in reality you've known him a relatively short time -and that's about you, not him. And why offer to come over and help him fix something after he's been cold to you for days? And why message him again just because he's been on a business trip? Wasn't the ball in his court given how many times you messaged him about his seeing you on Tinder? I could see if he messaged you and wanted to see you because he missed you but it sounds like you were overeager and overly available to be at his beck and call -which makes me think your feelings for him are based more on your own insecurities/neediness than who he is as a person and who you are as a reasonably confident person.

 

I don't think you lost him. I think he's not that interested in seeing you or he would have made 100% sure to have a plan with you ASAP after he got back -whether today or next week or whatever. My husband and I were long distance for quite a long time. And we were insanely busy at work and unpredictably busy. And our laser-focus was planning the next time we could see each other, time and place - I can't tell you who initiated more and that's a good thing -because it was obvious we both wanted to see each other as often as possible, we were committed to doing that and to each other and whether I made a suggestion or he did I cannot remember. I do remember how much we wanted to see each other.

 

Your perspective is totally on "how can I win him over - how can I decipher his "tone" in his one word text - maybe I'll offer to come over and help him fix something so he can remember how cute I am and how much he wants me- and maybe I'll message him tomorrow to ask him about how fixing the item is so I won't "lose" him". And that's a perfect recipe to turn someone off - it's way too needy, clingy and all about you wanting his approval. I'd stop if I were you and move on and if he wants to ask you out on a proper date he will. He knows full well how interested you are.

[Lilly26]

How long have you been dating him regularly in person? Not 5.5 months, right? I don't think you ever really had him to lose him and I say that because the things you write about him seem to be more about how you feel than who he really is, and who he really is, in person. You put him on a pedestal and in reality you've known him a relatively short time -and that's about you, not him. And why offer to come over and help him fix something after he's been cold to you for days? And why message him again just because he's been on a business trip? Wasn't the ball in his court given how many times you messaged him about his seeing you on Tinder? I could see if he messaged you and wanted to see you because he missed you but it sounds like you were overeager and overly available to be at his beck and call -which makes me think your feelings for him are based more on your own insecurities/neediness than who he is as a person and who you are as a reasonably confident person.

 

I don't think you lost him. I think he's not that interested in seeing you or he would have made 100% sure to have a plan with you ASAP after he got back -whether today or next week or whatever. My husband and I were long distance for quite a long time. And we were insanely busy at work and unpredictably busy. And our laser-focus was planning the next time we could see each other, time and place - I can't tell you who initiated more and that's a good thing -because it was obvious we both wanted to see each other as often as possible, we were committed to doing that and to each other and whether I made a suggestion or he did I cannot remember. I do remember how much we wanted to see each other.

 

Your perspective is totally on "how can I win him over - how can I decipher his "tone" in his one word text - maybe I'll offer to come over and help him fix something so he can remember how cute I am and how much he wants me- and maybe I'll message him tomorrow to ask him about how fixing the item is so I won't "lose" him". And that's a perfect recipe to turn someone off - it's way too needy, clingy and all about you wanting his approval. I'd stop if I were you and move on and if he wants to ask you out on a proper date he will. He knows full well how interested you are.

 

We have seen each other on an average of every 5 days since 5.5 months ago. Lots of gaps were caused due to his travel issues and a medical procedure. But all in all our line of communication whether when we were apart or together has always been very open. I have never chased him as he was always the one pursuing me and when we are together it’s just fireworks. I cud go and leave the items at his lobby but I wanted to actually see him look into my eyes and see the truth. Clearly this guy is mad at me or another option wud be he has started to think our relationship is getting deep and he has a million things to deal with and I’m clearly not a priority thou he used to be type who wud plan our dates 5 days in advance in fact I knew of our next date at the end of each one. Yes I have never had him in the first place to loose him but I really like this guy and I was hoping we wud be together long term. One thing I want to mention is that on at least 10 occasions even during the last time I saw him he brought out a future plans and of even having a child together. What the hell happened I don’t know. I can only wait and see. A friend of mine said let’s wait it’s 1 of the 2 either he is just pissed since he thinks I lied about deleting account which apparently lying is the main issue not having tinder or he is just finding an excuse to call it quits. She said either or it’s a win win situation because it cud mean he really likes me or is hurt and once and if we make up our relationship cud be stronger or 2 better to know now that someone has such a big trust issue than 1 year down the line where he wud be sensitive and pull such a stunt and not be able to speak about it. Also I want to mention he is sooooo stressed with a work situation which is not working in his favor either.

[Wiseman2]

Exclusivity means not seeing or pursuing or sleeping with anyone else. It typically happens before sex, not almost 6 mos later.. Playing house has nothing to do with exclusivity. Also it sounds like you are both lying about your extracurricular activities. And both of your stories are "a friend" saw it, used it, etc.

 

Perhaps it's time to lay the cards on the table about what you want and delete the dating apps....If exclusivity is what you want. Also the guilty finger often does the pointing, so it seems this guy is not as straight forward as you may want to think.

we haven’t had the exclusivity talk but it’s kinda under the assumption that we are from spending all weekends together running chores etc.

[Lilly26]

Exclusivity means not seeing or pursuing or sleeping with anyone else. It typically happens before sex, not almost 6 mos later.. Playing house has nothing to do with exclusivity. Also it sounds like you are both lying about your extracurricular activities. And both of your stories are "a friend" saw it, used it, etc.

 

Perhaps it's time to lay the cards on the table about what you want and delete the dating apps....If exclusivity is what you want. Also the guilty finger often does the pointing, so it seems this guy is not as straight forward as you may want to think.

I have no reason to lie here specially since I am searching for honest advise. Really I myself know it sounds bs I told him a friend used it but for my part of the story I’m saying the truth. He also said something which I was shocked to hear and that was that he has seen the app several times on my phone now that is an absolute lie I had deleted. U have a point here I’m starting to think he is making up all of these as a lame excuse. He is in his mid 40’s so I don’t get why he can’t just be honest with me than this silly excuse from someone who claims he adores me and constant talk of a future with me.

[Starlight925]

Also the guilty finger often does the pointing, so it seems this guy is not as straight forward as you may want to think.

 

This struck me as well. He was not just asking, hey, are you still dating online? 'Cause I'd like to become Exclusive with you. Nope, he was accusatory in an almost demanding tone. That, to me, sounds like someone who has some of his own 'splaining to do.

 

All this is moot, however, if you haven't yet had the Exclusivity discussion. Maybe I haven't read clearly enough.....have you?

[Lilly26]

This struck me as well. He was not just asking, hey, are you still dating online? 'Cause I'd like to become Exclusive with you. Nope, he was accusatory in an almost demanding tone. That, to me, sounds like someone who has some of his own 'splaining to do.

 

All this is moot, however, if you haven't yet had the Exclusivity discussion. Maybe I haven't read clearly enough.....have you?

 

No we haven’t had. To be honest with u I didn’t want to be the one to bring up the topic I was hoping he wud bring it up or I was also saying ok we are getting to know each other let me not act like these desperate woman and so forth. He never brought it up instead he speaks about summer vacations together, if one day we have a child together, meeting my parents and etc....

[Batya33]

I have no reason to lie here specially since I am searching for honest advise. Really I myself know it sounds bs I told him a friend used it but for my part of the story I’m saying the truth. He also said something which I was shocked to hear and that was that he has seen the app several times on my phone now that is an absolute lie I had deleted. U have a point here I’m starting to think he is making up all of these as a lame excuse. He is in his mid 40’s so I don’t get why he can’t just be honest with me than this silly excuse from someone who claims he adores me and constant talk of a future with me.

 

This has nothing to do with age. Adults of all ages move towards pleasure and away from pain. 40s doesn’t mean ready for exclusivity with a particular person anymore than if he were 20. Older doesn’t mean more honest. I think he is looking for excuses to create distance and to avoid getting more serious with you. I’d move on.

[itsallgrand]

This has nothing to do with age. Adults of all ages move towards pleasure and away from pain. 40s doesn’t mean ready for exclusivity with a particular person anymore than if he were 20. Older doesn’t mean more honest. I think he is looking for excuses to create distance and to avoid getting more serious with you. I’d move on.

 

I think so too.

[figureitout23]

Exclusivity means not seeing or pursuing or sleeping with anyone else. It typically happens before sex, not almost 6 mos later.. Playing house has nothing to do with exclusivity. Also it sounds like you are both lying about your extracurricular activities. And both of your stories are "a friend" saw it, used it, etc.

 

Perhaps it's time to lay the cards on the table about what you want and delete the dating apps....If exclusivity is what you want. Also the guilty finger often does the pointing, so it seems this guy is not as straight forward as you may want to think.

 

Excellent point.

 

Also going back to my post and the question I posed it seemed like your answer was it was you who keeps bringing it up,correct? If that's the case you are making a mountain out of a molehill focusing on the baby kitten when there's a giant elephant in the room.

 

I think your main issue, not as a couple, but yours individually is exclusivity and you've kinda zeroed into this tinder thing. Your focusing on the symptom not the disease.

 

Discuss your status already.

[Starlight925]

No we haven’t had. To be honest with u I didn’t want to be the one to bring up the topic I was hoping he wud bring it up or I was also saying ok we are getting to know each other let me not act like these desperate woman and so forth. He never brought it up instead he speaks about summer vacations together, if one day we have a child together, meeting my parents and etc....

 

While it's captivating to hear your new guy talk about future stuff, i.e. vacations, having a child together, meeting your parents.....it all means very little if you aren't officially exclusive.

 

I know you don't want to appear as one of those "desperate women" (your post from above), but you will need to simply bring it up. He might say that he's been exclusive with you for a while, and that he assumed you were too. Problem solved. Some guys just don't bring it up. You can do it in such a way as to not appear "desperate". Just tell him how much you've been enjoying this, and that you'd like for him to know that you are not dating anyone else, and see what he says. You'll have your answer right there.

[Batya33]

While it's captivating to hear your new guy talk about future stuff, i.e. vacations, having a child together, meeting your parents.....it all means very little if you aren't officially exclusive.

 

I know you don't want to appear as one of those "desperate women" (your post from above), but you will need to simply bring it up. He might say that he's been exclusive with you for a while, and that he assumed you were too. Problem solved. Some guys just don't bring it up. You can do it in such a way as to not appear "desperate". Just tell him how much you've been enjoying this, and that you'd like for him to know that you are not dating anyone else, and see what he says. You'll have your answer right there.

I’ve personally never been involved with a man who wanted to be serious with me and didn’t bring it up with me within the first 6 to 8 weeks of dating (and we weren’t having sex yet st that time and had nothing to do with sex. I was seriously involved with one guy where I had to bring it up and it was tied to sex also. He ended things after 5 months. Just wasn’t in love with me. Then there was another guy who seemed super into me but after 3 months was still logging on to the dating site. He said he wasn’t quite ready. We were not having sex yet. I gave it one more month, discovered a mental health disorder he had that he wasn’t treating and I ended it.

I wouldn’t ask this guy or tell him you’re not dating others (because the real point is whether you’re looking to date others). If he wanted to make sure you weren’t snapped up by some other guy you’d know it by now in my humble opinion.

[Starlight925]

I’ve personally never been involved with a man who wanted to be serious with me and didn’t bring it up with me within the first 6 to 8 weeks of dating (and we weren’t having sex yet st that time and had nothing to do with sex. I was seriously involved with one guy where I had to bring it up and it was tied to sex also. He ended things after 5 months. Just wasn’t in love with me. Then there was another guy who seemed super into me but after 3 months was still logging on to the dating site. He said he wasn’t quite ready. We were not having sex yet. I gave it one more month, discovered a mental health disorder he had that he wasn’t treating and I ended it.

I wouldn’t ask this guy or tell him you’re not dating others (because the real point is whether you’re looking to date others). If he wanted to make sure you weren’t snapped up by some other guy you’d know it by now in my humble opinion.

 

Great point.

 

I, too, have never dated a guy exclusively who didn't bring it up first, and yes, within the first couple of months.

 

A guy who really wants you will, as Batya says, want to get you off the market.

 

I'm not sure where this leaves you, Lilly26. Either you straight up ask him, or you decide that this just isn't for you. But he apparently isn't going to bring it up. I guess the best course would be to bring it up, look for his reaction, and make your decision....sooner rather than later, so as not to spend any more time.

 

ETA: Tried to give Batya some more reputation, but it won't let me, so....high five Batya! Great perspective.

[katrina1980]

 

I know you don't want to appear as one of those "desperate women" (your post from above), but you will need to simply bring it up. He might say that he's been exclusive with you for a while, and that he assumed you were too. Problem solved.

 

Some guys just don't bring it up. You can do it in such a way as to not appear "desperate". Just tell him how much you've been enjoying this, and that you'd like for him to know that you are not dating anyone else, and see what he says. You'll have your answer right there.

 

LHgirl, this is such great advice! Perfect way to initiate discussion, and may apply it to my own situation!

 

He brings up future stuff we should do together too, in fact now he's talking about renting a cottage on the beach in July or August when my vacation time kicks in (I get two weeks in Jan-June and another two weeks in July-Dec).

 

He always looks straight at me when bringing it up as if to gauge my reaction and I always just say "yeah that sounds fun!".

 

Early on I used to say "sure if we're still seeing each other....." Ugh.

 

But we have not formally defined or talked exclusivity other than we're not having sex with others right now.

 

But our connection is so strong and I have to say, I have the best time with him than with any man I've dated since my long term ex!! Broke up almost 2.5 years ago.

 

Anyway, to the OP haven't read the rest of the thread after LHgirl's post so apologize if this has been said, but the way she proposed you bring this up is perfect!!