I need a little bit of help

[michkath]

Right so this is what’s happened -

 

So Iv known this guy for years we’ve been friends through friend and recently we saw each other at a wedding. I never saw him attractive or in that way before. But now blimey his very charming and attractive.

 

Anyways after the wedding we was planning to meet up but my health went badly. And so we stopped talking. ( this was 2 years ago )

 

I went onto a dating app recently and we started talking again say like a month now we’ve been chatting. I feel like there is like something there I can sort of feel a attraction there with us.

 

So I met up last week and we got on so well he didn’t have his car so after drinks I dropped him back off & I came into his house and was chatting & obviously we kissed nothing like sex happened. When We was kissing my phone went off From a guy called Luke and he got really angry and he said text Luke back. I was like what on earth. I really apologised and I said I’m going to leave now. And I text him after saying I hope your ok and he said your a bloody tease you are you don’t know what you want in life. But I don’t understand what I did wrong :/ I’m single his single. I’m not sleeping with hundreds of men I’m just on a dating app like he is. Like nothing sexual you know.

 

I feel so bad about it. So been saying let’s meet up again and he doesn’t reply to me for days and then when he does his like hiya babe you ok. Like super weird.

 

I propa fancy him. What should I do?? Iv known him so many years and I feel it be such a waste if we didn’t at least give dating ago. I feel like we’re attracted to each other and we keep getting drawn to each other.

 

Guys I need help what should I do 🤷🏼♀️😓

[DanZee]

It sounds like he's quick to anger and quick to get jealous. Most of the time that leads to an abusive personality. And that leads to a toxic relationship. I think it's lucky that it happened that quickly. You did nothing wrong. I would avoid the guy, even if he calls to apologize.

[purplepaisley]

At this point, you're single and he's single and while you're chatting, there are no ties...no real date, no real courtship. I mean, the whole thing seems like him wanting to "hang out" and smooch, but there have been zero efforts, either from you or him, to have any defined courtship. You reconnected after a wedding, but that didn't pan out. You reconnected through a dating app...yet no dating?

 

I don't understand this most recent meetup, but he had no transportation lined up? How do you go out on a date but have no transportation figured out?

 

How did this guy catch wind Luke was texting you? Did he inspect your phone or did you offer this information? For the life of me, I can't figure out how he knew it was Luke texting. You either provided him with this tidbit...what purpose was that to serve?...and this information didn't go over well...Or he saw this on your phone, and how did he see it? He knows you're on a dating app, as is he....let's just remember, he is also on this dating app...is it okay for him and not for you?

 

He was vicious in his attack on you. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, and he's pissed six ways to Tuesday you got a message from OLD, while he busily maintains his membership...poor baby.

 

Tips and pointers:

-- Turn off OLD app notifications for at least the duration of the date. Turn off visible notifications. You don't need to advertise and you don't need your date being aware you're getting messages from interested men...it's not good date material. Don't even introduce the question of "who's beeping in."

--Put important friends and/or family on a different ring tone so that when you hear that different chime, you know to check in case it's an emergency or important.

 

So how did this guy know it was Luke texting you? Did you tell him? Did he inspect your phone?

 

How do you feel about him calling you a tease and getting so volatile over the situation? Do you think this is a good start? With this behavior and attitude, do you think you have a good foundation to start a relationship on? I'm seeing some warning signs. I think if you made a show it was some dude from the dating app texting you, you need to learn some discretion and boundaries. His level of anger, and it doesn't sound like he is really courting you at all, makes him sketchy at best, and you should probably reconsider this potential relationship. You've known each other a long time, so I don't think it would be completely out of line to have a "come to Jesus" discussion on what you both want...and follow through...but his level of hostility disturbs me a great deal...proceed with extreme caution.

[ThatwasThen]

Why would you give a jealous and inappropriate freak another chance? He's unstable if he reacted like that to a text from another guy when you two have only been on one date.

 

You don't give unstable people another chance... You leave them behind and never talk to them again so that you don't become attached to them or caught up in their web. They are preying spiders that should be avoided.

[michkath]

Response to your message -

- His car broke down so I offered to drive I don’t think that’s a bad thing

 

- he saw the name Luke pop up on my phone screen I didn’t mention it at all I would never do such a thing

 

 

And my cousin said the same. She said it’s very strange for him to kick off so badly when your both on dating apps. And only met once.

 

I have known the guy 8 years however but we never saw each other like that until the wedding. But Saddly my health was very bad after so we never met for a date properly was just phone calls etc. So recently tried online dating and that’s when we got back in touch again.

 

Today I text him saying this -

 

‘ Hey you fancy meeting over the weekend or next week :)? ‘

 

And Iv had no response. :/

[ThatwasThen]

‘ Hey you fancy meeting over the weekend or next week :)? ‘

 

And Iv had no response. :/

Why would you do that? He has shown you in a very short amount of time that he is, in some way, unstable. By texting him that you're still up to seeing him after he reacted so inappropriately, you're showing him that you tolerate disrespect.

 

For your sake, I hope he's so nuts that he is still too angry over nothing and doesn't contact you again. I'd hate to see you attached to a nut-job.