Ex GF Unblocked Me From Facebook(crazy story)

[Jondwnr]

I used to post when i got broken up with back in 2011.

I won her back thanks to this forum.

Back again cause i'm going through hell with a new ex.

I'm going to make this as condensed as possible.

 

So me and the ex were together a little over 2 years and have a year and a half year old son together. We were in a toxic relationship the last 6 months we were dating. Without going into detail why we broke up i'm going to explain my current situation and answer any questions you guys ask me when the time comes.

 

So we broke up 2 months ago, when she broke it off with me she was going out and getting drunk every single night. She rarely drinks(shes a weed smoker instead). She is also a recovery drug addict and besides weed and alcohol she has been clean from the rest of the hard stuff. She was blowing money and she hooked up with at least 1 guy i know of. So one night she came home(her moms house) and fell asleep with the car running. Her mother finds her in the morning wakes her up and they argue. She OD'd on Xanax and told her mom shes been doing coke. So her mom calls the cops and she gets arrested. She goes to the hospital for a drug/Psych evaluation for 6 days then released. She sees a therapist, Psychiatrist and goes to meetings now. she also finally got diagnosed with Bipolar and is on medication for that.

 

Her mom filed for temporary custody and still has it now, I would have him but i didn't have stable living or a job at that point.

 

So before she relapse she told me she started "talking" to this guy and before she went away it was a week they were talking. So the day she gets out of the hospital she puts a "In a Relationship" status with this guy she was talking to. My brother told me about this since i'm blocked on all social media the day she broke up with me. My brother was talking to this new guy online and was bad mouthing my ex and my ex found out and got angry at me.

 

Shes pissed and texts me to stay out of her business cause shes finally happy. So I call her an apologize about my brother and I ask to stay friends with her. She is says no cause it could cause problems in her relationship but, we can be friendly for our sons sake.

 

The next day i send her pictures of my other kids that she loves but they aren't her kids and shes receptive to those texts saying she misses them and loves them. And I told her i'll let her see them when I pick up my son. She texts me shes gonna be late cause she spent the night at her boyfriends house and that he is now taking her out to breakfast. It seemed like she was throwing it in my face at that point. She does see them and seems sad while we were there. She said she was just "tired" but the previous 3 times i've seen here since the breakup she seemed the exact same way and said she was "tired".

 

So after that conversation i go complete NC for 3 weeks, and i give in and text her and she is responsive with even a smiley face thrown in there. It was a super short 2 or 3 responses but it was positive.

 

I go NC for another week and I get a call request on Facebook from my ex's mother. I answer it and it's my ex and she it's her and that she want's me to video chat with our son. So we do video chat but it was mostly me and her talking and her smiling and laughing at me.

 

2 days late the same thing. She called me from her moms phone to video chat. She doesn't take him overnight and she only sees him a couple hours a week spread over the course of a week. She could see him more but she's either working or at her boyfriends at night where she stays.

 

So 2 more days go by and its Easter. She asks to meet me halfway to drop him off to her. I was originally going to drop him off at his grandmothers house farther away. So we meet up and have a 10 minute conversation and give each other hugs and joke around like we were dating still. An hour late she calls me and asks if I can meet her to drop off a game of mine. I said i'm already home and I that I was going to get it from her mother because that's who actually had the game.

Then she calls me again another hour later cause she had to bring our son to urgent care cause he had an ear infection. She again asks to video chat me for our sons sake and said shes going to unblock me on Facebook after 2 months of being blocked. We talk and she seems happy and smiling and making eye contact with me. Our son barely sees me in the video.

 

2 more days go by and i'm at my new job in training and i get a missed video chat from her. When I go on break I call her back and she says the same thing, I wanted you to video chat with our son. We chat for 15 minutes and all but about 2 minutes were me and her talking about our lives and joking around.

I talked to her mom about this one and her mom said she told her i'm at work and not to bother me and also that she shouldn't be in contact with me anyway and she still did it.

 

So i'm totally confused by all of this, when we were on our "break" the 3 of us video chatted 3 or 4 times a week. We haven't done this since the break. Now all of a sudden she wants to and also unblock me?

Also today I decided to sent her a message telling her i just got a new album of a band we both like and if she wants it i'll send it to her. No response....

 

It seems to me she's using our son as an excuse to contact me. She still has her rebound boyfriend shes dating as well. Any thoughts on this guys?

[reinventmyself]

This is the condensed version?

[Hollyj]

How many children do you have? Why did you not have a job with all of these kids?

 

The relationship is/was sick and dysfunctional. I suggest you get you visitation and payments square away, and focus on your kids and working.

[maew]

You mention she was a recovering addict... that she was “clean” from some drugs but not others... unfortunately for addicts there is no distinction in our brains when it comes to mood altering substances, whether it’s “just weed” or full on shooting heroin, our brains don’t know the difference.

 

It sounds as though she was and still is stuck in the loop of the insanity of her addiction... therefore her behaviour will NEVER make sense to you, nor will you be able to rationalize with her unless she is willing to get help.

 

She said she is getting counseling and going to meetings? I suspect she is probably also using with this guy she is staying with at the same time.

 

Keep your eyes and ears open with this one.

[Wiseman2]

Focus on your son and your new job. Only communicate about your son. Do not joke around, offer to send her stuff and other peripheral talk. Is it supervised visitation?

[Jondwnr]

I've been focusing on myself i lost 40lbs and feel great!! I finally found a new job, i applied to over 300 and nothing was sticking. I'm catching up on my bills and seeing my kids regularly. Yes i have 3 kids 1 with my current ex and 2 with my ex wife.

 

I was keeping to myself and trying my best to not initiate contact. I've started seeing someone as well but not dating them just hanging out and sleeping together. I can't get over her which sucks. I'm emotionally stable for a while now except for the face this current situation where it seems like she is using my son to keep in contact with me.

 

Yes I know her issues and everyone has told me to walk away, but the heart wants what it wants and i'm going to hold out hope still. I also will not get back with her while she isn't correcting her issues and I really don't want to keep in contact like she has been while she has this new boyfriend. I shouldn't have messaged her yesterday but the recent attention she's giving me has got me excited again.

 

Also it's not supervised supervision but her mother doesn't want her taking our son to her apartment cause she let her friend and friends boyfriend move into the apartment and its a mess with all their stuff and isn't kid safe and her mother isn't going to allow her to take him to her new boyfriends house(he lives with his parents and is 24).

 

It's always hard to deal with a loved one with a drug addiction and since i'm not one it's hard to think know what's going on in their mind.

[Jondwnr]

So I surprisingly didn't get any contact from her today regarding video chatting my son. I'm guessing she didn't see him today so she had no excuse to do so.

I know I made a mistake in sending her a message last night and should just allow her to contact me first.

Does any agree with my assessment that she unblocked me and is using my son to get attention from me?

Also I don't know if she's stringing me along just for her own sake or maybe she misses me?

[SweetGirl28]

This is such a mess, and you need to not be in contact unless it involves your son. Why would you let an ex addicted to coke even see your other kids ? They should not even be exposed to her. Your son is because she's his mother, but the others---no. Have respect for yourself and them. Your with someone, sounds like just a fwb, she has a BF.

Why can't you just go her mother since she has custody? You do not need this woman back in your life to tear it apart.

She's unstable, unreliable, untrustworthy, addiction issues. Focus on yourself and a job and taking care of your kids.

 

To answer your question, it does seem she's using your son for that but who knows . People with addiction issues are hot and cold. Don't waste your time reading into an unblock and video chats.

[Jondwnr]

Yes it is a mess, even messier than what the story tells.

She was good while we were together she was with drugs. I was her support and helped distract her when cravings came. She was a good mother and showed it when she found out she was pregnant. She stopped for 2 years until now and she just snapped.

So as long as she keeps with her program I don't see any issue with her seeing our son.

 

She doesn't see my kids except the one time i mentioned and that was at her mothers house that I did that.

 

Yes she is absolutely all of those things you mentioned but when shes straight, she is a good person.

I'm not one to put my kids in danger nor do I give up on people I care for even when they are as messed up like shes been.

 

Thanks for your reply, I thought I was going crazy thinking that. Cause even though I'm stable with this breakup, I still get weak when she talks to me.

It's really involuntary. Feelings aren't very controllable lol.

[Wiseman2]

That's the only reason you should be communicating anyway.

is using my son to get attention from me?

[Jondwnr]

Yeah I havent been contacting her. Been talking to her mother regarding seeing him and video chatting him the everything.

Thats why I was weirded out by her reaching out like this.

Its out of the norm.