My boyfriends sister is jealous and its starting to get creepy

[Vulpix]

I dont know how to really say this?

Shes 21

Im 22 and my boyfriend is 23

 

And they dont know their dad, but their mum is more like a drunken big sister.

 

So they definitely depend on each other and are closer, so id understand a girl taking her brother away, would be hard.

 

So naturally i tried my best to be friends with her, so we could hang out together.

 

But to be honest its gets weird

 

But she flat out ignores me, to give a few examples

She went through asking everyone name by name if they wanted a drink, till i was the only name not mentioned and she left

And it was 3 people not like 10.

 

I brought it up to my boyfriend in a maybe i was just seeing things way and ofcourse he got defensive, so i shut up and havent said anything since.

 

But since then shes dyed her hair the same colour, immediately sent him a pic of her and saying she looks just like me.

Took it as a compliment at first but kept posting online that shes being mistaken for me.

 

She wont talk to me, just facing him

Its only when he says show or tell me, she pulls a pout and does like its not funny anymore, if i talk to her she looks at him like

Does she have to respond.

 

She goes very into detail about her nipple piercings to him but when i ask or join in, she looks at me like im a weirdo for asking.

 

He wanted to buy me a gift recently, and she waited till i said i liked something and insisted he buy her something more expensive,

Now I originally thought paranoia and over thinking

at the time

But she literally said because that necklace is this much, so you can buy me this hat worth this much.

 

When he is at mine she sends loads of snaps of her in his room mainly in his bed

She sleeps their on the odd night

 

And lastly

She sends him pictures you just dont send your brother, like her in the bath

And topless

You dont see the main bits, if you get me but its still somet seductive in my eyes

 

And they like memes so she sent him one of him saying daddie on it

He’s even mentioned how he’s uncomfortable with them

 

He spends hours with her

And i would never break them up

But i dunno if i should try with her anymore.

I know he really wants us to.

[Hollyj]

Sounds like a bizarrre relationship. Her behavior is rude and unacceptable.

 

How long have you been dating?

 

The relationship is not normal . I never sent pics like that to my brother, nor was I disrespectful to his partner. I would move on from this mess.

[milly007]

It sounds dysfunctional, tbh.

 

And the fact he's commented on being uncomfortable with some of the pics she sends does speak volumes.

 

Not sure if I'd want to hang around much longer, if I were you.

[Andrina]

No guy, no matter how cute or sexy, is worth the drama of his family. It doesn't really matter who it is--sister, friend, cousin, colleague. If he lacks boundaries to let this inappropriate behavior happen under his watch and doesn't put his foot down, he's okay with the status quo. Leave him to his dysfunction. You can't change him, so it's best to ditch him.

[DanZee]

Well, the sister is overly jealous and as you pointed out, it may be because of your boyfriend's dysfunctional family. You are taking her brother away from her. The only thing you can do is kill her with kindness. Don't react to her hostility, but instead go out of the way to be sweet and kind to her. You wind up taking back control of the situation. By not losing your cool you can make her look awful. Don't take the bait.

[Iwish]

I agree with DanZee- definitely works this whole "killing with kindness" approach when someones jealous of your relationship. It makes her look really bad.

My wife has experienced jealousy from her step mum. She comes across overly jealous of her and her dad's relationship and goes out of her way to try and "part" them so my wife has been acting overly nice so that the only person that looks bad is the step mum and it's worked!

 

Her attachment to her brother is quite disturbing- I would suggest he speaks to her about how uncomfortable she's making him also.

X

[abitbroken]

Well, the sister is overly jealous and as you pointed out, it may be because of your boyfriend's dysfunctional family. You are taking her brother away from her. The only thing you can do is kill her with kindness. Don't react to her hostility, but instead go out of the way to be sweet and kind to her. You wind up taking back control of the situation. By not losing your cool you can make her look awful. Don't take the bait.

 

This is NOT typical jealousy of not having a sibling who spends time with you anymore --- sending topless pics to your sibling is a whole different level. Its not like pouting over your brother not riding bikes with you anymore because he goes with his girlfriend. This girl needs help. I would tell him quite firmly "I get its hard for your sister to share you, but sending your brother topless photos is just sick." if it doesn't stop, i would honestly break up. I would not be part of this weird family dynamic. I would wonder if she was either mentally ill or they did have a sort of inappropriate relationship at one point. Honestly, i would walk away. If he gets to the point where he has a more appropriate relationship with his sister down the road, then he can call you --- but i personally would not touch this. if someone in my family did this, there would be an intervention. They would be in counseling at the very least, and the rest of the family would be a buffer so that she could not harm anyone.

 

I honestly think if she is so attached that she is sending inappropriate texts and pictures -- i would run.

[Wiseman2]

How long have you been dating? The problem is your bf and his quasi-incestuous relationship with his younger sister, not just a 'jealous little sister'. Get out of this crazytown.

[abitbroken]

How long have you been dating? The problem is your bf and his quasi-incestuous relationship with his younger sister, not just a 'jealous little sister'. Get out of this crazytown.

 

agreee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As much as he tells you "i am uncomfortable" - the fact that this dynamic even goes on is troubling

[nutbrownhare]

Her behaviour would be inappropriate if she were just another girl who was interested in your boyfriend. The fact that she's his sister makes it doubly inappropriate, to the point of being incestuous, and if he isn't prepared to put his foot down then I suggest you run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.

 

Sure, you don't want to break them up. Don't even try. It makes you wonder about the dynamics of the whole family, and what their relationship was when they were growing up... it all sounds deeply unhealthy.