pillowsham12 Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 My ex gf ended things at the end of November, We have been in contact throughout most of December I stayed at her place for 4 nights in December. Things started to go cold a bit before Christmas. I had been in NC for 2 weeks. We have a ton of mutual friends together, last week a mutual friend wanted to go for dinner two nights in a row and told me my ex would be there. This mutual friend usually never initiates hang outs with me or our group of friends so I thought it was odd that she set this up and knowing my ex gf would be there both day. I declined the first day and decided to go the second night. My ex has not reached out to me directly via text/phone to hang out since the NC contact period started after she claim she wanted to be friends. What I am confused about is why she would still want to see me/hang out with me and use my mutual friends as a source to get me to come out. I have a high suspicion she told my mutual friend to ask me to hang out because this mutual friend has never initiated hanging out with me before, it would usually be either me or my ex gf who would ask her out. At the dinner with our friends ,she also bought a "guy friend" and was trying to initiate conversations with me and telling me about a trip to new York that we had planned previously but now said she would be going with her girlfriend. Pretty odd how she acts so cold and not text or reach out to me but wants to tell me whats going in her life and where shes going on vacation? She was also talking about how she was going ice skating with some of our mutual friends this week and then after a pause asked if I wanted to go in which I declined. Would like to hear any thoughts? Pretty confused Many thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 She brought a guy. End of story. See your mutual friends apart from one another and move on. You will get yourself stuck on her every move, every word, every action, and it's not healthy. When you are over her, then you can be friends if you still want to be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 I thought you were broken up. Don't you think it's time that you went complete NC! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatwasThen Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 She's probably just trying to keep things calm and unawkward and you both used to being in one another's company since, as you say, you have a ton of mutual friends together and you're bound to run into one another at gatherings of those mutual friends. Don't read too much into it in any event and if seeing her or talking to her at this point still causes you some grief then hold off on the mutual friend events when you know she's going to be there until you are closer to the stage of indifference to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 Sorry to hear this. She wants to be civil and be friendly in front of mutual friends. Smart to decline her invite, nobody wants pity invites. Start to phase her out by blocking and deleting her. If she is at an event where mutual friends are, be polite. Maybe it's time time to start dating casually and show up with your own "friend" at any of these events.Pretty odd how she acts so cold and not text or reach out to me but wants to tell me whats going in her life and where shes going on vacation? She was also talking about how she was going ice skating with some of our mutual friends this week and then after a pause asked if I wanted to go in which I declined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted January 22, 2018 Share Posted January 22, 2018 She brought a guy. End of story. This. This is likely also the reason she's gone cold on you, OP. I would try to avoid hanging out with mutual friends when you know she'll be there. The feelings are still too fresh for you to be neutral about being her friend right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No1 Posted January 24, 2018 Share Posted January 24, 2018 You are confused because your hope is clouding your judgement. Its is over so you must have the mindset that it is over. By you hanging around being available to your X is making you confused. You analyze every word, actions, even to how she looks at you or if she touches you. And those signals confuse you. So what you do is relax, say its over and you let go of the relationship. You are going to be fine if you do that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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