Havok20 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 I was taking this girl out on a date for a week, we met up three times and I honestly had one of the best times of my life, she was absolutely beautiful and we got along very well. Took her out to eat, went to the movies and she was all over me, cuddly, affectionate and seemed compassionate. That night we laid in my bed for 4 hours cuddling and holding each other, she kept being so affectionate with me and looking me in the eyes and telling me she loves looking at me, constant kissing. Two days later, I stayed at her house and we ended up getting intimate after she took her shirt off and pants and laid next to me, it was like an angel graced my presence, unfortunately I kinda of let the "I love you" slip out and kind of made her back off. She then said it back that night and morning. I was under the impression with all the holding and how passionatly affectionate she was being it just seemed right and honestly, felt right. We talked a bit about it and I apologized for coming on so strong and that we can take it slow. She replied with "Well, we don't have too." The following day we made plans to hang out and I asked when she said: "Whenever." That is the last time I have heard from her, I have texted and everything, nothing. I fell head over heels for this girl and she was really into me too, then just left like nothing. this hurts. It absolutely terrifies me that I was 100% vulnerable to this person and shared how I felt and she bolts out of my life without a single word... Do you guys have any idea what the hell happened or how I should even go about handling this? Link to comment
Imho Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Did you only know her for a week or did you know her previously and date for a week? Link to comment
glitterfingers Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 There was not a substantial bond between the two of you. I know it feels real, but that was just a bunch of chemical reactions happening within your body. Real relationships, trust and rapport, knowing the other person - true vulnerability - that only comes out over time, as you let your guard down, reveal your past/present/future to the person, face challenges together, make memories together. Sure, you can have an intimate moment with someone, but can you be consistently vulnerable and open with the same person? Can you know that person well enough to know that if you ARE consistently vulnerable/open, they will only respond with kindness and acceptance/understanding? Answer is no. She realises this, and hence she has backed off. Because the truth is you don't know each other very well Build your relationships more slowly. You should really only be seeing someone once, maybe twice a week when you're starting out. Saying "I love you" to someone that soon creates a huge amount of pressure, also, because it 1) usually requires a response, and 2) can make a person wonder if you have ulterior motives or poor mental/emotional stability, are needy etc. So many issues. How can you really mean it until you've been together for a while anyway? I think, just move on and accept that this wasn't what you thought it was. When you get close to someone that fast, it's fake for either or both of you and bound to fail Link to comment
boltnrun Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Run like the wind from people who tell you they love you after just a few hours. And that goes for you too...just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean you love her. You couldn't possibly love her after just a few hours. Maybe reality hit her and she realized she'd gone too far too fast. I did that when I was really young...kissed a guy I didn't want to date and who I wasn't attracted to because I just wanted someone to like me. I shouldn't have done that. I backed off BIG time after that because I knew I didn't really want to be his girlfriend. Link to comment
Andrina Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 That's probably too much time spent together so soon. Always keep an independent life outside of dating, by spending time with hobbies/interests and with guy friends. Even though she was into you, with all that time together and you saying I Love You too soon, she considered everything and maybe got scared away. Only she knows. It's normal to be excited over a new dating prospect. Keep it at a normal pace though, to prevent the other person from feeling smothered, even if they seem to be okay with everything at first. Maybe arrange one date a week during the first four weeks, and if that goes well, you might move to two dates a week. And don't overdo it on constant communication in between those times. People do have jobs and their own friendships and alone time which also keeps them busy. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 You don't even know this girl. How could you be in love??? What are the qualities that you love? I think you are getting things confused with lust. I think your words freaked her out. It would me. Link to comment
deedee911 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Umm. You say I love you after a week? If a guy said that to me I would run for this hills because it shows he is good at infatuation. And I've learned getting infatuated means nothing for long term relationships Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Way too much, way too fast. You don't love her. You hardly even know her. I understand you were excited, but declarations of love from a virtual stranger are usually very off-putting, OP. Be careful not to get so ahead of yourself next time. Link to comment
DanZee Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 It sounds like she really wasn't looking for a relationship. Do you know anything about her background? Maybe she is in a relationship and she was mad at her bf and just decided to have a fling. Who knows? Link to comment
milly007 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 How did you two meet? How old are you? The thing is, you don't know anything about her. You went out on a few dates. She could be dating many men at once, and only looking for something casual/fun. The fact that you both said 'I love you' is concerning. You weren't in love with her, but you were lusting after her - big difference. She could also be on the rebound and only looking to have fun and receive attention from men. Again, you don't know her all that well, so her reasons for not responding/disappearing could be anything. Link to comment
Honeycomb8 Posted January 13, 2018 Share Posted January 13, 2018 Getting physical immediately made ur hormones skyrocket. Saying I love you after 3-4 hours is bloody scary and I'd run too. All u guys did was cuddle. It's just nuts. You know absolutely nothing about her. Link to comment
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