Ben199027 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 So there is a lot to this story, Me M(27)+F(24) Jan 2017- left the home we shared due to g.f losing too many jobs over the years and couldn't keep up rent May 2017- she had no intention to move back out and was comfortable at home, getting more addicted to alcohol and becoming irresponsible, I was not due to a bad home situation, sharing a room with my brother June 2017- I had put us on a 2week break to clear my head and to see if she could change so we could progress forward and not backwards July 2017- we had been back together since our break but she had a lot of resentment, we spoke about trying to get more friends and have more of a social life, she had started speaking to a guy she was starting a band with, I had told her not to talk to him as he had already invited her round his house which I was not ok with, although they were friends something didn't feel right. August 2017- I had woken up in her bed, within 5minutes I was kicked out of the house , saying my last goodbye to my cat and driving home with it all over, it drove me into an emotional mess, the killer line 'I think we should be friends' stung right through me, I had attempted to contact her but it was no use, blocked and deleted from everything, she had said i needed to become a better person (which is true, I was not being a man in the last few months for a number of reasons) - a week later she goes on a date with the guy, by the 3rd week of our breakup she had seen him 9 times, sex 4 times, I had put all the pieces in my head together and figured out what was happening, it unfortunately drove me to have revenge sex with a very attractive lady just in spite, I hinted at it with a quick text to her, not knowing this actually destroyed what she had with him (I believe her break up emotions must of hit her then too) we get to week 4 and I decide to ask to meet up one last time, She spoke to the guy and he encouraged it so she could put an end to all of this and he could start moving them seriously (he was incredibly into her, the word love is possible..) September 2017- it took 10minutes for us to get back together, possibly the best night we had ever had, I woke up at her house the next morning and it only took a week of a date or two to get back to our usual routine, she had told him that she only sees him as a friend and she can't live hiding it, we met up and both confessed, il never forget that night, to know it was specifically the guy she had gotten friendly with felt humiliating and disrespectful, my actions were bad but I did still feel they were 1. Justified and 2. Not involved in the relationship we had. Despite this I took her back due to being such an incredible g.f the last 6yrs, 5 months have passed and she has got so depressed from what she did she has gotten suicidal on a few occasions, not sleeping, crying every day, I feel humiliated daily, depressed and angry with no ambition left for anything with constant reminders as this person went to my school, old best friends brother, my brothers old friend etc and lives on the way to my gfs, Jan 2018 - she's pregnant. ......call for help... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 What in the world! This relationship is so dysfunctional! I don't know what you are thinking! End this now!!!! Link to comment
Pleasedonot5 Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Whose kid do you believe it is? Link to comment
Clio Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 Jan 2017- left the home we shared due to g.f losing too many jobs over the years and couldn't keep up rent May 2017- she had no intention to move back out and was comfortable at home, getting more addicted to alcohol and becoming irresponsible, I was not due to a bad home situation, sharing a room with my brother Despite this I took her back due to being such an incredible g.f the last 6yrs... She was NOT an incredible girlfriend. Reread what you wrote above. Imo, she is in no state to have a healthy relationship. If the child is not yours then you need to bite the bullet and break up for good. If the child is yours, then yes, it would be worth it to try to salvage the relationship but imo that would probably require professional counselling. Either way, understandably, you sound overwhelmed. Think about seeking individual therapy. This woman sounds very troubled. It sounds like you got back together without ever addressing the reasons that lead to your break up. Link to comment
Ben199027 Posted January 7, 2018 Author Share Posted January 7, 2018 It's definitely mine and she doesn't want to get rid of it, I agree it might be time to get counciling for this, I'm quite a strong minded person usually but it's really destroying a lot of aspects in my life at this point, the reason we broke up was me being a person for a few months ( I don't think I deserved what followed but I definitely pushed her close ) which might be why I've given her a chance, i will definitely look into counciling, it was going so well but without trust a relationship crumbles , I worry this recent news is what is gluing us together at this point which is obviously incredibly unhealthy Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 It's not good to expose the kid to this dysfunction. Don't think that by being together is in its best interest. Link to comment
Ben199027 Posted January 8, 2018 Author Share Posted January 8, 2018 I know I've fully accepted that there is a very good chance I will be a single father in the future, my focus is on the child now no matter what and my career, feels like it is all riding on me as she has no job no car and has had to live with parents cause she can't even get a basic job, feels like I'm in a relationship with a teenager... Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 What attracted you to her in the first place????? Now, you are tied to this loser for many years to come. Link to comment
jimthzz Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Paternity DNA test, just sayin' Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 Unfortunately, you are poison to each other. Link to comment
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