woman05 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Hi all, I dated this guy for a year and finally we got together officially early this year. He was gonna migrate to Australia and he left in June this year and we entered a long distance relationship. We have been having arguments and wondering if we are suitable for each other. We felt like we should talk about our relationship. And then we had an argument and he blocked me for a week. After he unblocked me, I was hysterical and he suggested to break up and when I asked him if he’s sure, he said yes because he doesn’t want to be with someone like me who doesn’t have a level head and panic way too easily. He told me not to call him or he swears to god he will not ever unblock me again. Anyway I panicked and I did and he blocked me. I emailed him and said I will fly over to AU to see him and talk about things but he got really angry and wrote an email saying that he is very sure he doesn’t want this and that email is the last I will ever hear from him again. We have mutual friends so when he comes back from AU and hangs out with them I get to know about it on Instagram. I feel like a terrible person and feel like me not being able to control my emotions has led to him dumping me. Since our breakup he has also blocked my number, blocked me on WhatsApp, on Instagram and on Facebook. I am so distraught. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyv Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 He wants you to get over him. He acts up so you don't deem him worthy or loveable. Long distance relationships are difficult. I don't personally know how people do it. Do you really believe you know each other? Most times, long distance romances are about falling in love with longing, fantasies and escape. He pushed you to the edge on purpose. He's a coward. He did you a huge favor. Take it easy. I know this feels like rejection and the emotional disentangling will hurt. You'll be free, when you allow yourself to be. Day by day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted December 30, 2017 Author Share Posted December 30, 2017 Thank you. I know I’ll eventually get over it but I am just appalled that someone I hold so dear to can just block me off all communication platforms. I’ll probably not ever see him again since we are on different continents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Now, you are sounding a bit crazy. The guy blocked/disrespected you, and you're going to get on a plane to work things out. He is done! He also sounds like a jerk! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 You're feeling the sting of rejection. He has you blocked because he's sending you a strong message to leave him alone. Take time to get over this and then move on with your life. You cannot force anyone to be with you or be in contact with you. And do not fly there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Wow what a piece of work, he blocks you causes you extreme anxiety and then when he decides to bless you with his presence, calls you crazy and breaks up with you after his childish crazy making behavior. I know it's hard to see the big picture right now and I'm not saying you are innocent in all this but please don't sit here and allow him to treat you as if this was all on you. Best to block him yourself (useless I know but it may help) and try to move forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 I admit that I was being very panicky and I started crying and saying I can’t lose him - all this over text. We have had previous arguments before and I always end up crying because I didn’t wanted to lose him and we always say we will talk about our issues and we never do. He hasn’t been the most assuring person to me I Guess. But I feel like a horrible person and that he blocked me because he couldn’t take me not being level headed. All the times I haven’t been level headed is because I don’t want to lose him. Social media is also killing me because we have mutual friends and they are much closer to him than me. I feel very neglected and I wish I was a part of that group. Life sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 It'll probably be best to A.) get your anxiety under control B.) date men who don't make you anxious. They exist I promise you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted December 31, 2017 Author Share Posted December 31, 2017 I couldn’t resist and I sent an email to highlight my wishes of us having a relationship or a friendship and also to wish him well in 2018. He’ll not reply but I have to do this on the last day of the year, otherwise I’ll regret it. My last attempt. New year tomorrow and its time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sputnik123 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 Good luck woman05. All the best for the new year ahead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetGirl28 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I couldn’t resist and I sent an email to highlight my wishes of us having a relationship or a friendship and also to wish him well in 2018. He’ll not reply but I have to do this on the last day of the year, otherwise I’ll regret it. My last attempt. New year tomorrow and its time to move on. Well all you accomplished was that now your email will be blocked also! You must let this stop controlling your thoughts , as its leading you to act crazy. Let go of this! I'm not trying to mean, but you are looking absolutely desperate in trying to revive something with a man who clearly wants you to leave him alone. How much more beating ate you going to place upon your own heart? You are sincerely causing your own anxiety. Please, please, stop this and find a man who is local, and who has the desire to be in a relationship with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted December 31, 2017 Share Posted December 31, 2017 I couldn’t resist and I sent an email to highlight my wishes of us having a relationship or a friendship and also to wish him well in 2018. He’ll not reply but I have to do this on the last day of the year, otherwise I’ll regret it. My last attempt. New year tomorrow and its time to move on. You could resist, you just convinced yourself it would work so you did it. You're calm now but the longer you go without a response the higher your anxiety will go. Stop contacting him. Is he wrong for blocking you for a week straight and calling you crazy? Absolutely. Let's make sure we don't live up to the label. You have got to start training yourself to stop. You need to block his number, and make all forms of communication hard for you to use. You've gotta detox yourself from this addiction, it won't be easy but unless you actually do want to earn that crazy stalker label. Think about it, you two won't be clinking champagne bottles at your wedding telling everyone how you had to create a fake email account to get him to talk to you after he blocked you and called you crazy. Keep that in your mind, this is not the beginning of a love story. For whatever reason you have extreme anxiety when it comes to dating. It'll probably be a good idea to try to figure out what's happening to you and what triggers it, I promise you this is more about you than it is him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I did not create a fake email account. I emailed him using my own email account. Yes, I know I have to move on and I eventually will but I just need some time and support. It is not easy given we were friends for two years and then dated for 7 months. And yes I also know that I can’t force people to give in contact with me. And that if it’s meant to be, we will eventually find our way back to each other’s lives. Just need some support here, guys. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morello Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I know most people are advocates for NC, but some other things need to be considered. Sometimes staying in NC indefinitely for a long time just brings more anxiety and uncertainty, as you think the ex might be thinking of you and just afraid or hesitant to reach out. Even though reaching out by email got you a setback, it made clear to you that your ex is not willing at all to talk now, so it kind of brings you a bit of closure. It hurts when it happens, but it provides extra tools to move on, considering how more certain you are the things are really over. It will help you accept that and quit the denying phase. In my case, my dumper works at the same building, and after 2.5 months I was just anxious about our next encounter. Should I say hi? Should I ask how she is? Should I try to make a conversation? I sent her an email in early December, and the fact that she didn't reply helped me heaps in knowing that I should not in any case try to make any conversation with her whether I bump into her. Like 0. Maybe not even a hi. I lowered a lot my expectations and honestly, I made more progress in moving on in those last 3 weeks than I did in the whole 2.5 months thinking she would change her mind. I obviously didn't like the fact that I was ignored. But considering we broke up more than 3 months ago and she is still not willing to even reply to a light-hearted (how have you been) email that shows me that I need to accept that I might never talk to her again in my life. Sad but true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBC2000 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I’ve been here before and I know you probably feel like your life is over. I advice you to accept that he has blocked you, once you accept this allow yourself to go through the motion of your emotions. You will not heal overnight, but you will heal with time. I had an Who did the same thing to me, but eventually I healed from it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 I’ve been here before and I know you probably feel like your life is over. I advice you to accept that he has blocked you, once you accept this allow yourself to go through the motion of your emotions. You will not heal overnight, but you will heal with time. I had an Who did the same thing to me, but eventually I healed from it Did The Who eventually unblock you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Thanks everyone for the support. I will also take this time to reflect on the mistakes I did. One of the lessons I took out from this is to not let my emotions get the better of me and to react in an anxious and panicky manner, because not everyone can entertain heavy emotions. Will improve on this for my next romantic relationship or any other relationship for that matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBC2000 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Did The Who eventually unblock you? Yes he eventually unlocked me, but this was 9 months after the break up and I had moved on. That is not the point though, the point is anyone who really loves you would not block your phone number no matter how angry they are at you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 Yes he eventually unlocked me, but this was 9 months after the break up and I had moved on. That is not the point though, the point is anyone who really loves you would not block your phone number no matter how angry they are at you. He unblocked you and talked to you or you found out by searching for him? Yeah that is what I think too that they won’t block you. And in my case it was really drastic, I am blocked on my phone number and on all social media. But oh well I guess people react differently and have diff ways of coping. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Sorry to hear this. Stop hanging on to him, he wants out, let him go.. Stop harassing him. He asked you to leave him alone. Do not fly there and stalk him. It was over when he decided to move away.we had an argument and he blocked me .he suggested to break up.He told me not to call him.I emailed him and said I will fly over to AU to see him and talk about things but he got really angry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CBC2000 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 He unblocked you and talked to you or you found out by searching for him? Yeah that is what I think too that they won’t block you. And in my case it was really drastic, I am blocked on my phone number and on all social media. But oh well I guess people react differently and have diff ways of coping. He called me, but I was also blocked on everything from phone to social media and I went into a deep depression for months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 1, 2018 Author Share Posted January 1, 2018 He called me, but I was also blocked on everything from phone to social media and I went into a deep depression for months. Well I’m glad you found your way out of this darkness. You will find someone much deserving of you! Or you might have already found him. Thank you for the support and advice. It helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
figureitout23 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 I did not create a fake email account. I emailed him using my own email account. Yes, I know I have to move on and I eventually will but I just need some time and support. It is not easy given we were friends for two years and then dated for 7 months. And yes I also know that I can’t force people to give in contact with me. And that if it’s meant to be, we will eventually find our way back to each other’s lives. Just need some support here, guys. I did support and give advice please see below You're calm now but the longer you go without a response the higher your anxiety will go. Stop contacting him. You have got to start training yourself to stop. You need to block his number, and make all forms of communication hard for you to use. You've gotta detox yourself from this addiction. For whatever reason you have extreme anxiety when it comes to dating. It'll probably be a good idea to try to figure out what's happening to you and what triggers it, I promise you this is more about you than it is him. By all means soak up all the support you can get but for the love of all that is holy, stop contacting that man or finding excuses to contact that man. It will do much more harm than good. Exes who come back typically do so after getting distance. Not after continually getting messages, they're going to remain angry if you keep doing that, I promise you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woman05 Posted January 2, 2018 Author Share Posted January 2, 2018 I did support and give advice please see below By all means soak up all the support you can get but for the love of all that is holy, stop contacting that man or finding excuses to contact that man. It will do much more harm than good. Exes who come back typically do so after getting distance. Not after continually getting messages, they're going to remain angry if you keep doing that, I promise you. Thanks and yes you are right. It has been a really bleak Dec for me and I really hope that things get better and I’ll eventually be able to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boltnrun Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 You will be fine. But, as others have said, the message bombardment is a definite turn off. One of my ex's sent me 13 messages, all of which I ignored because he was being so insistent and honestly, a pest. I blocked him. Then a year later I unblocked him, figuring so much time had gone by he'd surely moved on. The very next day I got three more messages! I finally had to clearly tell him to leave me alone. That technique just doesn't work. But I'm sure you will be fine. New year, new opportunities! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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