Do I believe this? what to do

[lostupnorth]

I can't keep replying to this. Marijuana is not a criminal offense where we live. It is a non issue legally. I'm certain there are US states where it is the same thing.

[lostupnorth]

And also, he took the car over to his place to work on it. Yes he will use it until he figures something out. IN EXCHANGE for the labour.

 

What would people prefer...that he was sitting around at home doing nothing while having the knowledge there are absolutely no jobs in his chosen field?

 

He is receiving unemployment. He spent the past week 8 hour days working on my car. I could have paid a mechanic. But I did not. It's not like he's sitting at home watching television and then coming to meet me at lunch. He is dealing with a million things, the craziness from the fling, and he still took time to fix my car as an equal exchange. Labour, for use. Had someone paid him for the work, he would have been able to put a cheap car on the road.

[lostupnorth]

and it's not like I moved in there. I have my own full time job and my own children. He has his kids this weekend, I was not there last night. I did my own thing, he did his.

 

I may stop in at some point this weekend, or we will get together for a small activity for an afternoon. Its not like I'm swooping in and being a step mother.

[SweetGirl28]

I can't keep replying to this. Marijuana is not a criminal offense where we live. It is a non issue legally. I'm certain there are US states where it is the same thing.

 

Yes, I understand that.

Medical marijuana is legal. Carrying under a certain amount only imposes a small fine.

 

But...... is it legal on a drug test for employment??

Is it legal to drive while high and cause an accident??

It's your car, your wreck if he does.

[SweetGirl28]

and it's not like I moved in there. I have my own full time job and my own children. He has his kids this weekend, I was not there last night. I did my own thing, he did his.

 

I may stop in at some point this weekend, or we will get together for a small activity for an afternoon. Its not like I'm swooping in and being a step mother.

 

Well this is good, maintain your independence.

This is the best gift you can give yourself in this relationship.

 

I'm just wondering how mind blowing the sex must be, because I see no reason to be in this otherwise.

[lostupnorth]

IF he were to have a job that requires a drug test, he would have enough sense to not smoke it long enough to pass the test.

 

Sex is only a small part of our relationship. In fact, he respects me. The other women ( including the crazy fling) all jumped into bed with him on the first date.

 

She keeps throwing that back in his face, saying that if she had known he was talking to me at the time, she would not have jumped into bed with him.

 

He explained to her they were two adults that made a choice and he did not force her. She says he was in the wrong because if he was talking to me with the intentions of starting a relationship then he should not have slept with her.

 

She finds fault with EVERYTHING he does. she berates him. WHY would she think he wants her around even as a friend???????

[IAmFCA]

My crazy ex was smart, too.

 

Other similarities.

 

Each weed in his garden has a story. But why so many weeds?

[SweetGirl28]

IF he were to have a job that requires a drug test, he would have enough sense to not smoke it long enough to pass the test.

 

Sex is only a small part of our relationship. In fact, he respects me. The other women ( including the crazy fling) all jumped into bed with him on the first date.

 

She keeps throwing that back in his face, saying that if she had known he was talking to me at the time, she would not have jumped into bed with him.

 

He explained to her they were two adults that made a choice and he did not force her. She says he was in the wrong because if he was talking to me with the intentions of starting a relationship then he should not have slept with her.

 

She finds fault with EVERYTHING he does. she berates him. WHY would she think he wants her around even as a friend???????

 

Well then you should encourage him to stop smoking it, look for employment,

and then he will be in a better place financially. Unless he's trying to avoid paying

more in child support? Hmm....... It happens, trust me.

 

You despise this woman, but she's jaded and feeling used.

While she should let it go, realizing she is better off without him, she chose to fight.

And he loved every minute of it. Two women desiring him. Ego. He felt needed, wanted, and desirable, when he is in fact less than desirable on all accounts.

 

Everyone is accountable for their own actions as adults, including whom they chose to have sex with,

and how soon. Yes, two consenting adults made a decision and neither is to blame.

 

He respects you because you have things to offer. I'm telling you, take the car back,

and see if he still sticks around. I'll bet money he starts shopping for a new gf if you do.

 

You should print this out, and hand it over to a therapist for review.

Then come back and share with us what that person's assessment is.

I'll get the popcorn ready!

 

Anyone who finds an excuse for every little flaw in their partner is doing so to justify what

they know is wrong, and trying to convince themselves it's all okay. You are on the defensive

too much. And all your anger is directed at her, while you should have had anger towards him

also for having allowed it. But she's gone, right? So now you can begin your fairytale romance....

I hope for your sake the golden slipper fits, but I think it's gonna be about two sizes too small

[lostupnorth]

There are no more issues now that she is gone. I was on the phone with him ten minutes and she put the money in his mailbox. I am certain she is wondering why he did not come outside or attempt to get in touch with her to thank her. I cannot believe she went that far.

 

She has no reason now to contact him again.

 

And I am NOT looking for a fairy tale romance. Some people come with warts. He has a crazy ex fling. She is blocked, she gave him the money for moving her stuff.

 

She is obviously stopping at nothing to try and get him to talk to her.

[IAmFCA]

they have and will continue to have an on and off sexual interaction. she wouldnt give him money, otherwise.

 

that's my instincts, im sure you will say im wrong and i don't mean to offend.

 

that would be enough for me to leave him alone, and leave him available for someone like you who is willing to deal with this level of complexity. I am not.

[happymama]

This is one of the funniest threads I have ever read on of these forums.

 

The crazy fling may be a little crazy but everything she is saying is true. So true. 100 % that is why he is no longer seeing her. She " berates him" but it is all true. She did not blindly follow everything he said.

 

I personally think it's awesome that she gave him money. She probably paid for everything while seeing him and then as an f you gave him money because she knew he wouldn't say no. I laughed so hard. If she is unstable as you say, it shows what a user he is, but my guess is she is burned and knows a man source of pride is being able to provide and this was an f you.

 

My thumbs up are going to the crazy fling in this thread and I wish he did not block her because I really wanted to hear how else she responds to a man she recognized is a manipulative woe is me type.

[lostupnorth]

He is absolutely not having sexual interactions with her. She is not even remotely attractive to begin with. He made a mistake of sleeping with her.

 

At the very least, with all of the texts and calls, sex was not discussed.

 

If you go back to the original REASON for starting this thread, she tried to scare me away but even she couldn't say he was cheating on me because she KNEW that would be so easy to disprove.

[firelily]

Sweetie, if she was not even remotely attractive to begin with, he wouldn't have slept with her.

 

He enjoyed sleeping with her and still enjoys her attention. Maybe he's not looking for a model, just women that are fun to use in different ways. His primary criterium in a woman is having a low self esteem/boundary issues/emotional health issues, so that they are easy to manipulate.

 

Btw, is he attractive at all? Or more or less her level? I don't know why but I imagine he's not looking like James Bond himself, being a mature unemployed weed user who needs to borrow a car from his 5 week long "relationships".

[lostupnorth]

He does NOT enjoy his attention. I witnessed the anger and anxiety when she would message all of her stupid stuff.

[firelily]

Maybe he enjoys it less when she started to point out his sh*t, but he did enjoyed it for a long time, and her looks or habits weren't a dealbreakers.

[lostupnorth]

It's all over with her now anyways. There will be no more problems.

 

If there are any problems from here forward, they will be OUR problems, not hers.

[MissCanuck]

What is the advice you're looking for at this point, OP?

 

I can't really figure out the purpose of this thread anymore.

[kamurj]

Multiple accounts are not allowed. Thread closed.