Ex girlfriend keeps pushing me away because of her anxiety.

[Anon96614]

Me and my ex girlfriend were together for a year. It was the best relationship both of us had been in, few little bickers at each other was the worst that it got to. Then she started her new job and started having anxiety attacks, and it kept getting worse. About 2 weeks after she started having anxiety attack’s I lied to her, about smoking, and instantly she said she needed space, thought I was lying about anything and questioned the relationship. 5 days went by of her not talking to me and she finally did, saying she never wants to lose me but doesn’t know whether she can get over the lying to her because she’s been lied to and cheated on many times in the past, but she didn’t want to lose me and wanted to make it work. A few days later she freaked out again and ended it with me over nothing, which was when she told me about her anxiety. I’m like a dad to her child who is now 2, I’ve brought her up like my own and my ex never wants me out of her life. So I went to see The child less frequently but when I did I made a effort to make myself look nice, have lots to talk about and made everyone happy, which started to work. On Friday I had a customer where I worked saying he wanted me gone so he could get in. So I sent him on his way as I was at work. And Friday night I got stabbed twice. Knowing this I asked to talk to her on Sunday, to tell her what had happened, and she went into her own little world, didn’t care about how I was or if I was ok, and said she needs to process it in her own way, and now thinks I’m a c*** and that I’m not giving her what she wants. I’ve lost all hope, but I known we are meant to be together and want to make this work, but I don’t know what I should do, I don’t I understand how her anxiety is causing all of this, she’s pushing me away, but still wants me to go over now it’s not to talk to her. Has anybody got any advice on what I should do? Is she going to regret ending it? Is there any hope?

 

Many thanks in advance

 

 

Ps. I know I mean a lot to her, and that she misses me, but is too stubborn to say anything. She’s always been like that.

[MissCanuck]

First, I hope you are doing okay physically. I don't know the circumstances of this stabbing, but I do hope you are taking care of yourself so you can recover quickly.

 

This relationship will never work unless and until she gets serious about treating her anxiety, with the help of a qualified professional. It is clear she is unable to manage it on her own.

 

I would stop all visits to her. She isn't able to be in a relationship right now, and going around to her place or otherwise hanging out with her will only hurt you. It is impossible to say if she'll regret ending it. She probably can't even predict that right now. But you do need to give her and yourself space. She doesn't get to call it a day and then depend on your for affection, if you feel that's what she is doing.

[Edmund Exley]

First, I hope you are doing okay physically. I don't know the circumstances of this stabbing, but I do hope you are taking care of yourself so you can recover quickly.

 

This relationship will never work unless and until she gets serious about treating her anxiety, with the help of a qualified professional. It is clear she is unable to manage it on her own.

 

I would stop all visits to her. She isn't able to be in a relationship right now, and going around to her place or otherwise hanging out with her will only hurt you. It is impossible to say if she'll regret ending it. She probably can't even predict that right now. But you do need to give her and yourself space. She doesn't get to call it a day and then depend on your for affection, if you feel that's what she is doing.

 

I agree with this. You need to let her go.

[Andrina]

Your self worth is lacking if you want a woman back who doesn't care that you were severely injured and easily walks away without trying everything possible before throwing in the towel. You can put your own spin on things for her behavior, but you need to realize that your perception might not be reality, and in any case, she hasn't asked to get back together. Even if she did, it'd be a high risk for your heart. Past history predicts the future. She's the type that runs away instead of sticking around to work things out.

 

I feel sorry for her child. Her mother couldn't make it work with the child's dad, and now she hasn't made it work with you. You can choose to stay in the child's life if you keep all the communication about the child, just like divorced parents would or should. Just realize you have no rights and when your ex meets a new man, she might cut you off from the child.

[Anon96614]

Thanks for your replies. I understand where you are coming from, since this post she thinks I’m lying about being stabbed, so I said to her that I agree that space is what’s best for the pair of us. So I can concentrate on myself and she can sort herself out. Her response to that was, never speak to me again. Is that because I’ve taken the power away from her?

[thealchemist]

Well her lack of believing anything you say makes a relationship out of the question.

 

I would say you listen to her request and leave her alone. One sided relationships are terrible. Don't be that person.

 

Move on.

[MissCanuck]

Thanks for your replies. I understand where you are coming from, since this post she thinks I’m lying about being stabbed, so I said to her that I agree that space is what’s best for the pair of us. So I can concentrate on myself and she can sort herself out. Her response to that was, never speak to me again. Is that because I’ve taken the power away from her?

 

No, it's because she is a crappy person who clearly thinks very little of you.

 

You were stabbed and she has the stones to accuse you of lying? That should be enough for you to tell her to never speak to you again, OP. Why isn't it?

 

She sounds like an entitled brat.

[Anon96614]

I know. I’m going to prove to her that it actually happened and then I’m collecting all my stuff. She still loves me, and misses me but I’ve taken too much s*** to run back

[Anon96614]

My ex girlfriend and I had the best relationship, we were really close for around 6 years before we made a go of it. I raised her daughter like she was my own. We were together for just short of a year when she started having major anxiety problems, coupled with a lie about smoking from me it was over because she kept thinking about what else I had lied about. Long story short, I got stabbed and it’s something to do with someone who wants her. I told her this and she didn’t believe me, even though I showed her the pictures, says she doesn’t know what I’m capable of and thinks I’m going round and throwing stuff at our house. I’m not FYI. I’m going through the process of getting my medical records sent to me and a full police statement to prove I’m not lying about it, as she’s completely chucked me out of hers, her daughters and her families lives. When I prove her wrong will she still want me out of their lives completely? I don’t know what to do as stupidly I feel like I should be with her for the rest of my life, there is so much history and her family and friends believed I was the one for her. Obviously if she does want me back in her life I’m not going to let her get away with treating me this way, but am I stupid in thinking there is still hope? Is there hope? I just don’t know, please can somebody give me some advice or voice there opinion?

[abitbroken]

You got stabbed by an old boyfriend of hers or something?? If i were you, i would not be begging to stay -- i'd steer far away from her crazy life. She doesn't believe you got stabbed? You have a wound, i assume? And why does she accuse you of throwing stuff around the house? Is there stuff around the house that has been thrown?

[Anon96614]

Not directly by the ex boyfriend, but I know he’s got something to do with it. And yes I have the wounds to prove it. It isn’t about staying away from her, or begging to be back, that isn’t the case, I just don’t know what she will be like when I prove her she’s being a moron. She accused me of throwing things at the house because somebody had been, supposedly and because I’m the easiest person to accuse I get all of it.

[boltnrun]

You posted this same thing 4 days ago. What has changed since then that you wanted to repost?

[Capricorn3]

Threads have been merged.

[abitbroken]

Not directly by the ex boyfriend, but I know he’s got something to do with it. And yes I have the wounds to prove it. It isn’t about staying away from her, or begging to be back, that isn’t the case, I just don’t know what she will be like when I prove her she’s being a moron. She accused me of throwing things at the house because somebody had been, supposedly and because I’m the easiest person to accuse I get all of it.

 

well i can see where she is suspocious if you say "your ex had someone stab me" vs "your ex attacked me". Are you speculating or do you know??

[MissCanuck]

Not directly by the ex boyfriend, but I know he’s got something to do with it. And yes I have the wounds to prove it. It isn’t about staying away from her, or begging to be back, that isn’t the case, I just don’t know what she will be like when I prove her she’s being a moron. She accused me of throwing things at the house because somebody had been, supposedly and because I’m the easiest person to accuse I get all of it.

 

I assume you have been the police, and the hospital?

 

And who cares what she's like when you prove this happened? She is not interested in hearing the truth.