Girlfriend experiences pain when i try to finger her .

[killer]

Hey everyone . I am in a relationship from past 10 months and i love my girlfriend a lot but whenever we make out and i try to do finger her she experiences some pain .Like whenever i try to enter my finger in her v****a she says stop its hurting . Is it weird or some problem?

Thank you.

[MissCanuck]

It could be a number of things. If she is nervous or otherwise not "warmed up" enough for intimacy, then yes, penetration would be uncomfortable. It could also be an actual physical issue, but only her doctor would be able to determine that.

 

How old are you both, and have you had intercourse?

[Jibralta]

Everybody is different. It’s not necessarily weird. If she feels it is a problem, she should talk to her doctor.

 

By the way, you can say “vagina.” It’s not a bad word.

[killer]

We both are of 22. No ,we didn't had intercourse till now and We both are virgins .

[willdation]

Sounds pretty normal. Going from kissing straight to sex etc. within like 5 minutes would probably be uncomfortable for most IMO. I would suggest reading a few books on it...just be sure to hide it though...When I was like 18 I once I bought a book on tantra just cause I didn't know what it was and thought it was funny... and then my grandmother found it awkward! Never ended up reading it tho

[katrina1980]

This may sound a bit rudimentary, but make sure your fingernails are trimmed properly because I can tell you from experience that fingernails inside my vagina does NOT feel good and yes it can hurt. It scrapes the tissue.

 

I suppose it would be like a girl's teeth on your penis when giving BJ.

 

Ouch!

[katrina1980]

Sounds pretty normal. Going from kissing straight to sex etc. within like 5 minutes would probably be uncomfortable for most IMO. I would suggest reading a few books on it...just be sure to hide it though...When I was like 18 I once I bought a book on tantra just cause I didn't know what it was and thought it was funny... and then my grandmother found it awkward! Never ended up reading it tho

 

Yeah tantra is awesome, very erotic.

 

Tons of videos on you tube as well.

[thealchemist]

First of all, hand care is very important. Trim your nails, clean your fingernails, and ensure your fingers aren't too rough or calloused.

 

I would also maybe try a good bit of clitoral stimulation before actually going for penetration. If it doesn't slip in pretty easy I would think you need to play around with her more.

[bamaprincess05]

I don’t think it’s weird or a problem. I’ve never liked anyone just sticking their fingers up there, ESPECIALLY when not warmed up enough.

 

From the way you said it, it seems as if you’ve tried this several times. She’s probably thinking of that pain & anticipating the same thing happening each time you make out, which of course will only make the situation worse.

 

Have you talked to her about it?

[killer]

First of all, hand care is very important. Trim your nails, clean your fingernails, and ensure your fingers aren't too rough or calloused.

 

I would also maybe try a good bit of clitoral stimulation before actually going for penetration. If it doesn't slip in pretty easy I would think you need to play around with her more.

 

Thank You. I will surely keep it in my mind from next time .

[Elavohra]

So out of curiosity, here's my question guys- since these days everything is on television or on the internet. Couples knows how to make love. A woman's virginity can be known but how you would come to know whether a guy is a virgin or not?

[katrina1980]

First of all, hand care is very important. Trim your nails, clean your fingernails, and ensure your fingers aren't too rough or calloused.

 

 

This is what I said too (see above post jmo but when a woman is sexually attracted, five minutes of "making out" is plenty to get her aroused and lubed (wet) enough.

 

If not, then perhaps it's an attraction issue or some sort of sexual hang-up preventing her from relaxing.

 

But yah, definitely trim those fingernails and make sure you know what you're doing.

 

Watch videos if necessary.

[willdation]

Yeah tantra is awesome, very erotic.

 

Tons of videos on you tube as well.

 

haha nice...I just might have to take a little peak

[killer]

I don’t think it’s weird or a problem. I’ve never liked anyone just sticking their fingers up there, ESPECIALLY when not warmed up enough.

 

From the way you said it, it seems as if you’ve tried this several times. She’s probably thinking of that pain & anticipating the same thing happening each time you make out, which of course will only make the situation worse.

 

Have you talked to her about it?

 

Yeah everytime i make out with her i take things very slowly Like kissing on her body , rubbing her etc. but whenever i move my finger around her vaginal hole and i tried to enter it slowly she always says that its paining . I talked about it with her several times and she is very scared of penetration like some kind of phobia .

[thealchemist]

This is what I said too (see above post jmo but when a woman is sexually attracted, five minutes of "making out" is plenty to get her aroused and lubed (wet) enough.

 

If not, then perhaps it's an attraction issue or some sort of sexual hang-up preventing her from relaxing.

 

But yah, definitely trim those fingernails and make sure you know what you're doing.

 

Watch videos if necessary.

Well given their sexual inexperience it could also easily be nerves or anxiety. The girl might very well be into it but still have the anxiety around it because of her lack of experience.

 

Getting her more aroused with a bit more attention and time could help alleviate this.

[pippy longstocking]

Yeah everytime i make out with her i take things very slowly Like kissing on her body , rubbing her etc. but whenever i move my finger around her vaginal hole and i tried to enter it slowly she always says that its paining . I talked about it with her several times and she is very scared of penetration like some kind of phobia .

 

There is your answer .... and in time she will relax hopefully .... pay more attention to the clit then the hole ..and make sure your fingers are wet ..maybe use a massage oil down there , so everything stays lubed .

[killer]

This is what I said too (see above post jmo but when a woman is sexually attracted, five minutes of "making out" is plenty to get her aroused and lubed (wet) enough.

 

If not, then perhaps it's an attraction issue or some sort of sexual hang-up preventing her from relaxing.

 

But yah, definitely trim those fingernails and make sure you know what you're doing.

 

Watch videos if necessary.

 

HAHAHAHAH !!

Your tantra seems very interesting

I will surely look into it .I Hope this 5 minute tantra works and christmas comes bit early for me.

BTW Thank You.

[katrina1980]

haha nice...I just might have to take a little peak

 

What are you waiting for??? lol

 

New guy and I were actually watching last night, so it's interesting it was mentioned today.

 

Then gave each other massages. So sensual, so erotic.

 

And we have not even had full on sex yet!

 

Discovering there is so much a couple can do to turn each other on other than intercoursse.

 

It builds anticipation, AND attraction, as I said very erotic and sexy!

[katrina1980]

Well given their sexual inexperience it could also easily be nerves or anxiety. The girl might very well be into it but still have the anxiety around it because of her lack of experience.

 

Getting her more aroused with a bit more attention and time could help alleviate this.

 

Well, I did mention that too I called it sexual hang-up preventing her fm relaxing, which essentially means anxiety about sex (due to lack of experience or another reason).

 

So yeah agree!

[pippy longstocking]

Well, I did mention that too I called it sexual hang-up preventing her fm relaxing, which essentially means anxiety about sex (due to lack of experience or another reason).

 

So yeah agree!

 

he is just copying you and trying to take the glory ...tsk haha

 

( PS KATRINA , oops shouty , season 6 of catfish has just been added to my boxsets ...yay )

[katrina1980]

he is just copying you and trying to take the glory ...tsk haha

 

( PS KATRINA , oops shouty , season 6 of catfish has just been added to my boxsets ...yay )

 

You noticed that too? XD

 

And tnx, I'll have to check out the new season!!

[dias]

There is your answer .... and in time she will relax hopefully .... pay more attention to the clit then the hole ..and make sure your fingers are wet ..maybe use a massage oil down there , so everything stays lubed .

I am really trying not to comment this my love!!!

[DanZee]

It could be a medical problem called vulvodynia where the muscles contract and causes pain. This could be caused by either the person's fears or there's a physical reason. She should see a gynecologist to find out exactly what is going on. However, you can pleasure her by rubbing the outside lips and clitoris. You don't have to insert your finger, especially if it causes pain.

[tiredofvampires]

It could be a medical problem called vulvodynia where the muscles contract and causes pain. This could be caused by either the person's fears or there's a physical reason. She should see a gynecologist to find out exactly what is going on. However, you can pleasure her by rubbing the outside lips and clitoris. You don't have to insert your finger, especially if it causes pain.

 

Ah, good for you, DanZee -- a poster who has mentioned vulvodynia, and you are male, to boot. Good for you, for your knowledge.

 

OP, you should do some research on vulvodynia. It's a very, very loose medical term, meaning "pain in the vulva", and there are several sub-categories of it (for instance, there is "vestibulodynia", aka "vulvar vestibulitis", which refer to very localized pain around the vaginal opening, as opposed to more diffusely in the entire genital area). All of those terms are searchable on google and there is more and more information on these very frustrating (and not-talked-about-because-everyone-is-too-ashamed-to-say-anything) conditions.

 

There are as many possible causes as theories -- everything from the birth control pill causing thinning of the tissues there, to infections that are not easily detected, to irritation from hygienic and personal care products, to inflammatory responses of unknown cause, or muscle tightening like this poster said. Old school doctors still abound who don't know anything about this condition or delegitimize it; and there are other doctors who are very sympathetic to it as a real disorder and one that universally causes pain with penetration of any kind, be that tampons, fingers, or a penis. Obviously, you want to steer clear of the former and go for the latter.

 

Do you know if she has ever used tampons and if so, have they hurt?

 

Do you know if non-sexual contact with things causes pain, such as tight pants, bicycle seats, horseback-riding, or hard chairs?

 

If so, she may have vulvodynia/vestibulodynia. And should be evaluated by a gynecologist who is familiar with the condition and knows how to diagnose it, after other things are ruled out (such as chronic bacterial or yeast infection). It is a diagnosis of "exclusion", meaning other things that are more common are ruled out first.

 

Sometimes, past traumas or bad experiences, sexually or otherwise (some women just "store" stress in their pelvic floor, like some people grind their teeth when stressed) can make an involuntary muscular tightening occur. in some cases it's mild, but in some, you can't get past that, and the vagina shuts itself off with muscle spasm. This is called vaginismus, and can also be diagnosed by a gynecologist who deals with pelvic pain (the only kind I would recommend for your girlfriend). The fact that you say she almost has a phobia of penetration suggests to me that she may be suffering from vaginismus, which makes penetration impossible sometimes and requires physical therapy to get the vagina to "learn" to relax. This is usually linked to an emotional issue, and fears may run deep, so there could be some work to do on levels other than physical.

 

Finally, some women just have a thick hymen - the flap of skin over the vaginal opening that breaks when a woman is penetrated for the first time, or something vigorous through sports. This can be painless for some women and some women have almost nothing there to break. But other women have a thick skin, so to speak, or it closes off most of the vaginal opening, so it's very painful if you try to push through it with anything. I know two women who had their hymens surgically cut to make first intercourse bearable.

 

So bearing all these potential issues in mind, I would recommend going to a gynecologist who is versed in various types of pelvic pain (many doctors only know how to deliver babies and diagnose outright infections, so they are useless and even harmful) in your area. She can be examined properly that way.

 

Does your stimulating her body make her lubricated? When you touch the area, do you find she is wet?