Dynamic in my office makes me stressed out

[Alex39]

So things in my office have shifted dramatically. We have now gotten two new workers. We replaced a retired employee. He offered the job to her originally. She said no. She was highly inexperienced for this role. It was baffling when I witnessed him asking her if she wanted it. He ended up hiring someone double her age and with lots of experience. How does that make sense? I was even more qualified than she.

 

He then gets the go ahead to hire another person to be right under this new guy. The new guy, Martin, says he really wants me to go for the job. He sees my potential and wants to work with me. I tell my boss I am interested in the job. He tells me he wants someone with more experience.

 

So you offer a secretarty a job way above her pay grade and experience level, but I am not experienced enough forthe job under that? Makes no sense.

 

My boss hires someone else. He then tells me he is going to move me away from all office marketing to work under the two new guys and coordinate them. I'm quite surprised. Then he starts talking and acting like she and I are going to be equals. I hate that. I have three and a half years here. She has only been here for a little over 1.

 

Now Martin is my new boss. We are all in the same department, and our main boss is still the same, but now I answer to Martin.

 

It seems as if my boss has given her all of the fun, good parts of my job, and given me some of the crappy tedious parts of hers. Go figure. With this new position, I then asked for a raise. My boss then says, "I plan on putting you and her in for raises." Why is she getting a raise? I'm getting a whole new job. I didn't get the raise. I have a snaking feeling that she did. Our old secretary left because she wasnt making more. She got perfect reviews and scores. Now this girl with way less experience is making more than she ever did.

 

Martin is great. He likes me so much, and appreciates my work for him. One day Martin calls me in and wants to talk privately. He tells me how he doesn't think I have communication issues at all. This beings me relief. He then tells me how he was led to believe I needed to be highly managed and micro managed and he is seeing now that isn't the case. My boss told him I needed to be managed highly? Really? Martin says that he sees I know exactly what I am doing and how to do it well, so he will step back and let me be.

 

Now I am feeling taken advantage of. My boss gives me a new job description but I haven't signed a thing. He tells me to do all the new tasks, but it seems he is still having me do parts of my old job, which are now supposed to be hers.

 

She is going on vacation, and he is telling office members that if they need this or that, that I can do it for them. That is not fair. I didn't get more money to pick up her slack.

 

We were at a work event the other day. My boss keeps looking at his phone and chuckling like a school boy, then leaning over and making comments to her. They were texting about non-work related things, seems to be normal for them. He even said it out loud how they were having a stand off about a food item through their phones. That is very inapropriate. I think they chat all the time.

[Batya33]

I think it's odd that Martin would gossip that way -unprofessional. He didn't need to share with you what others' impressions were or what he was told. I'd be careful about sharing any information with Martin.

[Alex39]

I am being cautious with Martin. I don't think it was gossip. It was more he was trying to micro manage me because he thought I needed to be led through every task, which he didn't need to do. And he wanted to acknowledge that he saw that I was independent and smart, knowing what I am doing, which was not what he was told when he was told to be my boss. And he felt mis-lead about me. And because of that he was treating me a certain way.

[Batya33]

I am being cautious with Martin. I don't think it was gossip. It was more he was trying to micro manage me because he thought I needed to be led through every task, which he didn't need to do. And he wanted to acknowledge that he saw that I was independent and smart, knowing what I am doing, which was not what he was told when he was told to be my boss. And he felt mis-lead about me. And because of that he was treating me a certain way.

 

Yes, it was gossip - he didn't have to reveal to you who said that about you and talk behind that person's back especially in a work situation. If he based his behavior on something your boss told him he should have kept it to himself - it was unprofessional of him to share that information with you and you don't even know of course what your boss actually said.

[Alex39]

So unfortunately I am still not happy at work. I don't know if I am crazy and doing this to myself, or if there is a problem. I am sensing my new boss, Martin is using me as a crutch because he is unfamiliar with the career space that he worked his way into. He has never really worked in this field before, but he was very into a challenge and he had experience that was similar, but now I am wondering if he really just talked his way into a hole. I'm better than him and more knowledgeable than him in many aspects of this position. Another man who works in our small team, and right below Martin seems way more experienced, less needy and reliant. He works very independently, where as Martin relies on me a lot.

 

This past week has been hell. The secretary went on vacation and I was happy. She was gone all week. She runs data reports daily for our office on data that Martin and I need. We discussed before her leave that Martin would run them daily. I have been extremely busy all week and Martin just made me more anxious and stressed. Early in the week my big boss asks me to run the reports one morning. I thought this was strange, but I ran them and posted them. He then sent a follow up that I didn't see asking if I could post them everyday. I again, missed this message, and also was int he mindset that Martin would be doing this as we had agreed. Days later, Martin comes to me saying my boss is mad because I haven't been posting. I was so confused and explained this to Martin. Martin then asked if I would run them everyday. I said sure. He then told me that I was to do this indefinitely, and that even when the secretary came back, I was to do this. I am so confused over this. Its her data account I am using. I feel uncomfortable doing this, but have been as I have been told. I also don't understand that because she goes on vacation that suddenly a task of hers has become mine in one week?

 

Then I mention to Martin how we should get together in our three person team and discuss what we should be doing at an upcoming event. Since my job changed, I am unsure of my role at the actual event. He then says yes and thinks its a great idea. He then says I should make a game plan and prepare something for our meeting so we know what we are doing. I made a face and said I was felt uncomfortable telling him and the other gentlemen their roles at this event. He then expressed that I know historically how the event has gone with the previous guy. I tell him the previous guy didn't have a rhythm or reason, he just did what he wanted and that was it. There is no history. He wanted me to prepare a plan and tell him how to approach this event. I think it should be the other way around. I felt uneasy about this. Then he goes and says ho we should be thinking about how to engage clients and connect them with the event and such.

 

I was so confused and felt pressure. This part of my job was taken away from me and given to the secretary. I was great at engaging clients, but it wasn't for me to think about anymore. It was all her. I tell him this, but then he doesn't seem to get it. He keeps talking about client relations like it is something we should be doing. This made me anxious and upset that I should still be doing this, and if I don't I might get in trouble somehow. Knowing my boss he will find a way to blame me by saying I should be telling her this and that and I didn't. Then to top it off Martin had asked me to do some data stuff with a spreadsheet. He was fine with our intern doing it, so because I was so busy, I had her doing it. She had to go and find contact info for names online, which is hard enough as it is, but to top it off the list was thousands long, at least 3000. I knew it would take her forever, could be months on end. He then starts asking about it and if its done yet and how she and I are doing. After him inquiring many times, I finally had to tell him how its 3000 names long and it is impossible since she and I keep having time sensitive tasks to do first. He didnt even seem to realize how long it was. And on top of that, there are multiple other lists in similar length he was asking about too. Its overwhelming.

 

I started getting frustrated and overwhelmed. Now he talks with my boss and he tells me he wants me to come up with a 5 point system for searching for people. 5 different places to look before going to the next. Thats insane and so long.

 

I am still doing other tasks from my previous job. And I can't say no to anyone else in the office if they ask me for something. So I finally tell Martin, trying to communicate that I am overwhelmed and so busy with work. Mostly from him. Others were fine, it was him, but I didn't want to tell him that it was him.

 

Now he is treating me like a baby, which I didn't need and it makes it worse for me.

 

Since the secretary is out, the front desk is empty. We have interns there, but not all the time. This morning it was empty, so when clients walked in I would greet them and quickly in a minute delegate who could help them, other than me. It was perfectly fine. It was only a few hours, then an intern came in and handled it. Martin comes over and starts talking to me about how I shouldn't greet them and I should let others do it and as much as customer service is great, I should stop. I tell him that since no one is there, I am the closest person and clients immediately see me and talk to me, and how it wasn't distracting me to do that. The secretary was out, so someone had to do it. And he insists that the other two ladies could do it. But they never do. I am always the one. I am just used to it. I don't know what was up with Martin. Then my work friend behind me, Kim, calls me over to look at something that connects to a project she and I are working on. It was very work related. I go to stand up and get halfway over to her computer and Martin pipes up in front of everyone and says "Sorry Kim, Alex can't come over right now, she is working on ***** and she can't look at that right now."

 

It was extremely rude and awkward. I don't need him speaking for me. And Kim is my friend and also like 60 years old, not a young person. Kim pipes in back and tells him this is something important related to our work. He says nothing. Kim tells me later in confidence how rude it was and I agreed.

 

Martin then suggest he and I meet every morning to prioritize my schedule. I insist that I am busy but that is overkill. We agree at twice a week, and I take it down to one time. I am getting more frustrated and stressed by being treated like this. I wish I never said I was overwhelmed. He now thinks I can't handle my self or my work, which isn't true. He just keeps giving me more and more work, with unreasonable expectations, and not taking into account other work I have going on. I don't even know what to do at this point.

 

I feel stressed, defeated, and like I can't trust Martin.

[Jibralta]

I was so confused and felt pressure. This part of my job was taken away from me and given to the secretary. I was great at engaging clients, but it wasn't for me to think about anymore. It was all her. I tell him this, but then he doesn't seem to get it. He keeps talking about client relations like it is something we should be doing. This made me anxious and upset that I should still be doing this, and if I don't I might get in trouble somehow.

 

Correct me if I am wrong, but it sounds like you had the opportunity to do something that you enjoyed. But instead of leaping at the chance, and knocking it out of the park, you resisted because it was taken away from you?

[Alex39]

Not exactly. My boss gave it to the secretary, and I was given a whole new job, without more pay. If I had gotten a raise, maybe I would have been more forthcoming with my ideas. But I know how this goes, I go over and above and give all my good ideas, and my boss is so happy and she gets the praise and credit, since its her job.

 

I have great ideas in my head, but just holding them there. I loved doing what I used to do and I was really good at it, but clearly seeing as it was given to her, my boss saw fit that she would be better.

 

So fat, she has barely done anything. Not anything good. Any thing as in not a thing. Maybe she'll shock me, but so far she's behind and not impressing anyone. I'm twitching inside watching no engagement and marketing happening. We have an event soon and at this point, I would have already have done a ton. There is nothing happening. I also feel like he is slowly "transitioning", my boss' favorite word, giving her all my fun, creative, shining tasks, and giving me the ones she hates to do.

 

Its killing my creative vibes. I'm a thinker. Doing tedious data work over and over doesn't let my free innovative thinking flourish.

[journeynow]

I am still doing other tasks from my previous job. And I can't say no to anyone else in the office if they ask me for something. So I finally tell Martin, trying to communicate that I am overwhelmed and so busy with work. Mostly from him. Others were fine, it was him, but I didn't want to tell him that it was him.

 

Now he is treating me like a baby, which I didn't need and it makes it worse for me.

 

Since the secretary is out, the front desk is empty. We have interns there, but not all the time. This morning it was empty, so when clients walked in I would greet them and quickly in a minute delegate who could help them, other than me. It was perfectly fine. It was only a few hours, then an intern came in and handled it. Martin comes over and starts talking to me about how I shouldn't greet them and I should let others do it and as much as customer service is great, I should stop. I tell him that since no one is there, I am the closest person and clients immediately see me and talk to me, and how it wasn't distracting me to do that. The secretary was out, so someone had to do it. And he insists that the other two ladies could do it. But they never do. I am always the one. I am just used to it. I don't know what was up with Martin. Then my work friend behind me, Kim, calls me over to look at something that connects to a project she and I are working on. It was very work related. I go to stand up and get halfway over to her computer and Martin pipes up in front of everyone and says "Sorry Kim, Alex can't come over right now, she is working on ***** and she can't look at that right now."

It was extremely rude and awkward. I don't need him speaking for me. And Kim is my friend and also like 60 years old, not a young person. Kim pipes in back and tells him this is something important related to our work. He says nothing. Kim tells me later in confidence how rude it was and I agreed.

 

Martin then suggest he and I meet every morning to prioritize my schedule. I insist that I am busy but that is overkill. We agree at twice a week, and I take it down to one time. I am getting more frustrated and stressed by being treated like this. I wish I never said I was overwhelmed. He now thinks I can't handle my self or my work, which isn't true. He just keeps giving me more and more work, with unreasonable expectations, and not taking into account other work I have going on. I don't even know what to do at this point.

 

You do need to prioritize. Martin is right. Prioritizing is good, and should help you feel less overwhelmed. You say yourself that you are so busy and can't say no to anyone else in the office, but is sounds like you need to say no to some of them some of the time, and stay focused on your high priority things. It's not a bad thing to say "I'm sorry, I can't help you right now." Even if you have the knowledge or skill to help, it doesn't mean you have to be pulled here and there, or that they can't manage in another way. To clients that are coming in, you can say "_______ will be with you in a moment" and continue your work. Or make a sign saying just that, put it on reception desk, and don't let yourself be interrupted.

 

Roles change, priorities change, people get shuffled around for different reasons, and co-workers and bosses may not always be perfect. Who knows why you are asked to take on a new task, maybe the other person is needed for something else, or your doing it makes for a better flow. When you are given a new role on top of your old, ask at that moment what the current priorities should be. They change, and not always how we expect, because we may not have the whole picture.

[Alex39]

I understand that. I do prioritize. I wouldn't be so busy if I didn't. I have to to survive the workload. I am more insulted that he feels the need to now baby me through it. I've been working there for years and he hasn't. And my boss hasn't been the best leader so I had to be very independent in my workings, not babied. Its not about prioritizing. Its about Martin handing me lists with thousands of people to go over, and asking me a week later if its done? That insane. I have other time consuming tasks. I would have to do that for the whole 40 hours that week to get it done, which isn't practical. And then when I brought it up to him, about how long it was and how much time it would take myself or the intern, he agreed it would be "filler" work for when we didn't have work. I thought this was fine. The intern and I have been busy with other pressing things. So filler work was good. We just haven't had a down second to do anything filler. Then he proceeds to ask me again, about the lists and their progress. Like, didn't we already have this conversation?

 

Unfortunately saying ______ can be with you in a moment doesn't really work in our office. Sometimes there is no _____. People are in and out or meeting with clients. I don't have a heavy client meeting load, because that wasn't a part of my main job like it is the others, so I often and the one sitting there available to welcome them and direct them to the right place.

 

I guess it might also be important to mention that my last position was the support of all. I did bits and pieces of everyone else's job and did all the extra stuff the office needed done when no one else could complete it. I was great at this. I did different things all the time, and I was productive and good at most of them. I was always just there to do it. I could do any one of their jobs because of it, which I pride myself on. But I think its tough going from picking up everyone to having a set job. I feel the automatic need to jump in everywhere, and everyone else, besides Martin, still treats me as such, like I am there, because for the last three years I have been. I don't know how to navigate this. I'm trying really hard to do my work for Martin, and the extra work, which has been cut down drastically because of this new job. I used to meet with clients, give client presentations, and I have a client following whom like working with me. Though not a part of my new job, I have kept this up as extra. I like the interaction. I am good at it. It takes skill and talent to speak in front of a lot of people. I love it. And as a marketing professional, trying to refer out someone who wants to work with you, you lose them half of the time in the process.

 

Plus it gives me sanity. Away from my computer once in a while.

 

And to be honest, I don't exactly know what Martin is doing half of the time. He makes phone calls a lot. But then, I provide him with all the info he needs, and he then refers the phone calls to me after to follow up, so he doesn't have to do it. Again, I am the crutch holding him up, and he's making way more than me.

[journeynow]

I've been working there for years and he hasn't.

 

It's not about seniority though, is it?

 

Its not about prioritizing. Its about Martin handing me lists with thousands of people to go over, and asking me a week later if its done? That insane.

 

No, it's not insane, it's a question. You give him an update. Period. No need to take offense. When he first gives you a list, ask him where it falls on the priority list. When he asks again, ask if it should be shifted up higher in priority, and what should be shifted down. Tell him you estimate it would take a full 40 hours to finish. If he asks again, it means it is on his mind, not in order to baby you, but because it relates to something he needs.

 

 

Unfortunately saying ______ can be with you in a moment doesn't really work in our office. Sometimes there is no _____.

I thought in the example you gave there were interns who's role it is to take care of them. It sounds like your boss doesn't want you greeting them, so I don't understand. If you keep working at your work, will they be waiting until you all go home for the day?

 

I guess it might also be important to mention that my last position was the support of all. I did bits and pieces of everyone else's job and did all the extra stuff the office needed done when no one else could complete it. I was great at this. I did different things all the time, and I was productive and good at most of them. I was always just there to do it. I could do any one of their jobs because of it, which I pride myself on. But I think its tough going from picking up everyone to having a set job. I feel the automatic need to jump in everywhere, and everyone else, besides Martin, still treats me as such, like I am there, because for the last three years I have been. I don't know how to navigate this.

 

This is where you refer to your priority list. Do them in order of priority. You don't do your old job, you do your new job.

 

I used to meet with clients, give client presentations, and I have a client following whom like working with me. Though not a part of my new job, I have kept this up as extra.

 

But you complain about being so busy, and this could be getting in the way of priorities, or why those above you feel they need to micromanage you.

 

 

I don't exactly know what Martin is doing half of the time.

 

It's his job to know what he is doing, not yours.

 

He makes phone calls a lot. But then, I provide him with all the info he needs, and he then refers the phone calls to me after to follow up, so he doesn't have to do it. Again, I am the crutch holding him up, and he's making way more than me.

 

That's your job, to be the support person for your boss. He has a different role than you.

 

If you want to be the boss, you may need to work on you own. If you are not ready to strike out on your own, use this job to observe and learn, or find another job where you feel better about the office dynamics.

[Jibralta]

Not exactly. My boss gave it to the secretary, and I was given a whole new job, without more pay. If I had gotten a raise, maybe I would have been more forthcoming with my ideas. But I know how this goes, I go over and above and give all my good ideas, and my boss is so happy and she gets the praise and credit, since its her job.

 

I have great ideas in my head, but just holding them there. I loved doing what I used to do and I was really good at it, but clearly seeing as it was given to her, my boss saw fit that she would be better.

 

So fat, she has barely done anything. Not anything good. Any thing as in not a thing. Maybe she'll shock me, but so far she's behind and not impressing anyone. I'm twitching inside watching no engagement and marketing happening. We have an event soon and at this point, I would have already have done a ton. There is nothing happening. I also feel like he is slowly "transitioning", my boss' favorite word, giving her all my fun, creative, shining tasks, and giving me the ones she hates to do.

 

Its killing my creative vibes. I'm a thinker. Doing tedious data work over and over doesn't let my free innovative thinking flourish.

 

You clearly feel justified in your actions, and I see there is logic in your thinking but you are misguided. You are preoccupied with praise and credit, competing with your coworkers, and getting what you want. But you are putting yourself first to the point where you are actually dragging your feet and pouting. Instead of putting your feelings aside and working as a team t solve a problem, you say:

 

"I can give you my ideas, but I'm not going to because you gave the job to her."

"I can give you my ideas, but I'm not going to because you didn't give me the raise that I wanted."

 

Very, very, backwards and unwise.

 

I understand that you are frustrated and hurt. But this is why your boss is treating you like a baby. A little child behaves this way when she doesn't get her way. She naively assumes the world revolves around her because experience tells her that adults are there to feed and protect her. But you are an adult now, and you should know better. It's your job to provide. In this case, your job is to provide a service in return for compensation. That's it.

 

Your employer and manager are making decisions for the good of the business, not to satisfy employee requests. These decisions have nothing to do with you. Whether they align with your preferences or somebody else's is coincidental and irrelevant. There could be favoritism, but unless people are handing your boss money for free, it's not a driving force. It is simply more cost-effective to give certain salaries certain work.

[Batya33]

You clearly feel justified in your actions, and I see there is logic in your thinking but you are misguided. You are preoccupied with praise and credit, competing with your coworkers, and getting what you want. But you are putting yourself first to the point where you are actually dragging your feet and pouting. Instead of putting your feelings aside and working as a team t solve a problem, you say:

 

"I can give you my ideas, but I'm not going to because you gave the job to her."

"I can give you my ideas, but I'm not going to because you didn't give me the raise that I wanted."

 

Very, very, backwards and unwise.

 

I understand that you are frustrated and hurt. But this is why your boss is treating you like a baby. A little child behaves this way when she doesn't get her way. She naively assumes the world revolves around her because experience tells her that adults are there to feed and protect her. But you are an adult now, and you should know better. It's your job to provide. In this case, your job is to provide a service in return for compensation. That's it.

 

Your employer and manager are making decisions for the good of the business, not to satisfy employee requests. These decisions have nothing to do with you. Whether they align with your preferences or somebody else's is coincidental and irrelevant. There could be favoritism, but unless people are handing your boss money for free, it's not a driving force. It is simply more cost-effective to give certain salaries certain work.

 

Jibralta I was going to make the point about prioritizing being a team player - even though that's such a cliche the import of the words get lost -but your post spells it out, thanks! I completely agree and tired of reading all the "I" statements that have to do with your office and job. I took a major demotion in my professional career by choice, for my own reasons so I could balance work and family. And that means I have to readjust to that "level" - and it's easy because it is a service business and that's my focus -the service aspect. And it also means I sometimes have to put my "ego" aside or my comfort zone for the good of the team or the clients. The ego part is easy for me at this point and I get how it can be harder in one's 20s. I mean in general I have to evaluate whether my choice/reaction has to do with my feelings or the good of the team. And my job requires me to choose the latter. Doesn't yours?

[Jibralta]

I mean in general I have to evaluate whether my choice/reaction has to do with my feelings or the good of the team. And my job requires me to choose the latter. Doesn't yours?

 

Absolutely. I enjoy teamwork, and perhaps that makes me fortunate. I have worked with people who have an overwhelming need for personal recognition, and it is actually suffocating. It drags down the whole team and can cripple a project. I've posted about it (briefly) in my own journal.

[Batya33]

Absolutely. I enjoy teamwork, and perhaps that makes me fortunate. I have worked with people who have an overwhelming need for personal recognition, and it is actually suffocating. It drags down the whole team and can cripple a project. I've posted about it (briefly) in my own journal.

 

I don't love teamwork where I end up doing more than my "fair" share -I definitely like having more control over the work product. But..... I see the importance of it, I work with the mindset that it is very important and I've made decisions to take one for the team instead of for me, many times.

[Jibralta]

I don't love teamwork where I end up doing more than my "fair" share -I definitely like having more control over the work product. But..... I see the importance of it, I work with the mindset that it is very important and I've made decisions to take one for the team instead of for me, many times.

 

If you're doing more than your fair share, it's not team work. But it is (for me) an awesome thing to behold when people with different skill sets and educational backgrounds successfully work together to solve a problem or to create something that otherwise would not be possible.

[Alex39]

I haven't always been this way. Years of my boss taking my ideas, taking advantage of me, has made me realize I need to protect myself more. Along with the fact that I was used for years for everything. If I didn't do it, it didnt get done, so I'm used to doing it all. And never saying no.

 

I'm express frustration over the sheer fact that no matter how hard I worked, my boss got promotions and raises using a lot of my ideas and the secretary got a raise and she gets great reviews and praise, when I work like a pack mule and get barely an inch. Why should I keep preaching my ideas and doing it all, while seeing other people get ahead of me.

 

But at the same time, I like doing it all. I like doing everything and being able to handle the load as well as I do. But I want the praise and recognition for it. I thought my boss moving me into this new position would be a promotion and raise for my hard work, but its simply just him moving me to be someone else's b**** and do crap work for them. Martin. And now he doesnt have to deal with me.

[thealchemist]

I haven't always been this way. Years of my boss taking my ideas, taking advantage of me, has made me realize I need to protect myself more. Along with the fact that I was used for years for everything. If I didn't do it, it didnt get done, so I'm used to doing it all. And never saying no.

 

I'm express frustration over the sheer fact that no matter how hard I worked, my boss got promotions and raises using a lot of my ideas and the secretary got a raise and she gets great reviews and praise, when I work like a pack mule and get barely an inch. Why should I keep preaching my ideas and doing it all, while seeing other people get ahead of me.

 

But at the same time, I like doing it all. I like doing everything and being able to handle the load as well as I do. But I want the praise and recognition for it. I thought my boss moving me into this new position would be a promotion and raise for my hard work, but its simply just him moving me to be someone else's b**** and do crap work for them. Martin. And now he doesnt have to deal with me.

I am very confused...

 

You do know that this is how the world works right?

 

If your boss has the ability to take advantage they very well might.

 

People screw other people over a million times a day.

 

I honestly agree with you that it is bullsh*t.

 

But that doesn't matter.

 

You need more experience in a professional work environment if this is throwing you for a loop.

[journeynow]

I don't see a problem with contributing ideas. Ideas are just ideas, no one owns them, and someone has to carry them out, make them a reality, take responsibility for their success or failure.

 

Why not negotiate a raise and show why you are worth it?

 

Work on your team building skills. Negotiating skills. Self-promotion. Effective communication. Delegation. You've mastered comparing yourself to others, and judging others, now find skills that help you get where you want to go.

 

Find things you can change about what you don't like, even experiment with reinterpreting the situation. Keep track of positives and focus more on those, make more of those a goal and work for the positive in your situation. Keep track of your progress. (And by "keeping track", I mean keep a daily task journal. About actions and results.)

[journeynow]

I thought my boss moving me into this new position would be a promotion and raise for my hard work, but its simply just him moving me to be someone else's b**** and do crap work for them. Martin. And now he doesnt have to deal with me.

 

Isn't this preferable to you, since you've made it clear you don't like or respect your boss? Good for him if he sees a better fit for you working under Martin. And good for you, you don't have to deal so much with your boss or your co-worker you have animosity toward. Sometimes people management (your boss's job) involves juggling different personalities.

[Batya33]

If you're doing more than your fair share, it's not team work. But it is (for me) an awesome thing to behold when people with different skill sets and educational backgrounds successfully work together to solve a problem or to create something that otherwise would not be possible.

 

Totally and I've experienced that. Logistically, solo work is better for me now with my lifestyle/schedule than teamwork but I agree!

[Batya33]

Your ideas belong to who you're working for. You get paid for your ideas. It's not taking advantage.

[Alex39]

I thought working for Martin would be good, but frankly it hasn't been all that good. It's awkward. We are in an open office except for our big boss. So while out in the office, everyone else reports to the big boss, and I report to Martin across the way in his cubicle. He openly bosses me in front of everyone and its degrading and uncomfortable. One of my co-workers/friends, even stuck up for me once, as Martin was bossing me, as she was asking for me eyes to look at a project, and he openly told her I was busy and I couldn't come help her. I can speak for myself. It was very rude, and my co-worker immediately defended me and said,"this is for something important we are working on together"

 

I think Martin fakes it until he makes it in the office and it angers me. He doesn't know what he is doing. He is relying on me a crutch and its frustrating. I know more than him. He tries micro managing me one minute and then has no idea what he is talking about the next. Yesterday was the worst. He starts asking me about marketing. I tell him the marketing that I am responsible for is completed and done. He then starts talking about the secretary, whom I don't like, and saying how I need to touch base with her about her part of it and she doesn't know what needs to be done, etc... I was quite frustrated by this. I have to run and help her do her job? I then re-iterate again to Martin that I am responsible for this segment only, which is done. He then pushes again that she needs me to tell her and such and I should assist her. I then tell him how I knew nothing of this, she hasn't said one thing, and if she has a question she can feel free to ask, but thus far she hasn't asked me a thing. Martin says nothing.

 

Then to top it off, I am getting my own student intern to manage. I hired him and he was supposed to start yesterday, but didn't get his paperwork in on time. No big deal. He let me know in the morning and I told him to come in for his next scheduled shift in a few days. He is going to only be working for me. I make sure his hours are good and he gets paid. Martin says out loud in front of everyone how I need to have my intern add the secretary in on all emails about his schedule to me.

 

I insist that isn't necessary and I track his hours and pay, so she doesn't need to know any of that. Martin demands he add her in. I then say how I will adjust all public calendars to reflect my new interns hours and let her know if its such a big change. Martin says no, and persists that she needs to be emailed by MY intern as well.

 

Its ridiculous. He is never ever going to be working for her, with her, etc...

 

She manages all of our interns hours in office. She asked me for his schedule a week ago. I gave it. She has his week to week. Other than that, he doesn't need to know if he is sick, late, etc... That should be for me his supervisor, to know. She grinds me gears, and now I see that she is in Martin's ear, because of the way he is speaking to her. My intern hasn't even had his first day yet.

 

Then Martin gets all crazy with future talk with the interns and needs to stop. I manage the interns. I give them tasks. Martin gives me tasks to give them. He needs to back off of them. I have lined up tasks for them to do every time they come in. They will come in, and before they even get settled, Martin is over telling them explicit directions and vision for a task he wants them to do which is 4th on the list of priorities. Why? They haven't even been given that task yet. Then I go over and give them their first task of the day, which isn't even anything to do with what he is talking to them about. He also likes to email them when they aren't in the office talking about tasks and such again. They aren't working or getting paid. He needs to stop. I think it makes them feel pressured and anxious. He does that to me and makes me feel that way, so they must as well. I'm scared for my new intern to start, because all Martin talks about is "Oh we can have him do this and that and this and that."

 

Like, he doesn't even know where the bathroom is yet, better yet, doing full blown tasks his first day like a pro. Martin needs to chill out and get off my back and theirs. He is way too high strung. Last week he killed me with it. He told me he day before an event he wants all these gift bags for clients. Way to tell me in advance? We've done this last minute before and I work well under pressure. So I take one intern and she and I sit around with boxes and bags everywhere and start making them. No order, just keep making bags. Martin comes over and starts complaining that we have no process to our bag making. He complains that whole time about it. Helps us makes them, has another co-worker join in making them. The old Martin never helped in such things, and it wasn't in his job to do so, so I never expected nor thought Martin would help. He tasked it to me.

 

He then sends me an email afterwards saying how he needs me to learn from this experience and how I should have created and planned an assembly line process for the bags and pre-asked him and the other guy to help in it, and how we would have never finished without them.

 

That is not true. I explain to him that I have single handedly made more bags myself in the past with no issue, and that the process worked fine for me and my intern, and how that was not uncommon for us, especially before a big event. I then let him know that if he wants bags created in a planned way, then he should let me know ahead of time.

 

Like it was his personal issue that the process didn't work for him. We were shoving pens and mugs into gift bags. Really not brain surgery. I was one and so was my intern.

[Batya33]

If you want to stay there pretend you are at a formal tea party and be on your best behavior manners-wise - thank him nicely (not gushing) every time he makes a suggestion, do not interact in a confrontational way, keep all the e-mails and texts etc - and put your ego at the door every morning. If he wants you to tie a pink ribbon around each pen and have the secretary know what kind of knot you are making and what percentage of the time your intern is tying said knots, smile and do it. Your thank you is your paycheck. Assume that each day your job responsibilities might change - increase/decrease/twists and turns. Go with the flow. Smile in a professional way. Talk less and keep your nose to your work.

 

Or look elsewhere.

[Alex39]

Then on top of today, I got called out by my boss for something that to me, was ridiculous. We all have an account at work. An email account. Within your account you can add a profile photo. I see different ones daily. People's kids, dogs, cats, etc... I am always seeing people and who they are. So after not having one for a while. I decided to add one. I love the beach and tropical things. I found a really nice photo painting of a palm tree, beach, and pineapple. I put it as my photo. I thought it showed a bit about my personality. It was a nice picture. People see it when I send an internal email. It pops up next to my name as a circular photo the size of a nickel. Not a big deal. As I said, I see other colleagues in other offices kids and pets.

 

My boss sends me a nasty email today telling me to remove it and how it was very unprofessional and I represent out office and that doesn't represent well at all.

 

I immediately told him I took it down and how I just thought it showed a bit about me loving the beach and how I see other people posing their pets. He replied that this isn't the place for my personality and "my point exactly, we aren't going to be those people."

 

I found this extremely rude. His point exactly? What is wrong with those people showing important things in their life? Being human? Being themselves?

 

I told my co-worker and she rolled her eyes at how minimal and ridiculous it was. It made me feel like crap. I try to be very professional, while also maintaining a sense of identity and self. Clients like me, because I am real and likable and not a robot. I pride myself with great customer service and professionalism so being called un-professional hit me hard and I found it very rude and upsetting. Especially him saying this isn't the place for your personality, is so degrading. So I should act like a robot? Like I am no one, nothing.

[Jibralta]

It's weird how you are always right. Even your boss is wrong.