Redfox1877 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 So I met a lovely guy, we got on so so well.. same outlooks in life..same morals...as well as fancying each other. He's just going through the end of a divorce... We went on dates....he told he's parents and friend about me. Sent me a huge bouquet of flowers to my work for my birthday...drove over an hour to see me.., We spoke on the phone every night, and text all through the day. He said meeting me has knocked him sideways as he wasn't expecting it...and he really liked me...as I do him, He wanted is to be bf/gf So, he stayed over mine the other night as he had an interview near me...we slept together for the first time... Next day, he went off...no problems... He went to the interview, he didn't really want the job, but went for interview experience. Interview was rubbish as he called and told me. I sent him a lovely message back...basically saying, something will come up. He didn't reply. I left it...this was at 10 am, by the evening, nothing. I thought it was strange...but thought he just wanted time out. Next morning, nothing..,although I could see he was on line texting? I left until lunch time, I sent him a message saying " i don't know what's going on or if I have done anything...but I don't deserve this" He read it and blocked me. I can't believe he did that...I just felt a little used after he came over the night before... I just absolutely have no idea what to think...anyone have any ideas...?? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 "He's just going through the end of a divorce..." ^This is what's going on. You got involved with and swept up with a person who is in no emotional shape to be involved with anyone. Divorce is an emotional roller coaster and unpredictable in terms of how a person may feel from day to day. So in the future, unless you are good with just a casual fling, don't get involved until the ink is dry and they have had some serious time to process, heal, move on, have a few flings under their belt and are actually now ready for another relationship for real. All of the above assuming that he really is going through a divorce and it's not the case of his wife caught him cheating or came too close to..... Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Maybe he is back with the ex? I am sorry he just randomly blocked you. How immature and unkind. A couple questions: how long has he been separated? How long have you been seeing each other? Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 "going through a divorce" isn't the definition of an available person. sounds like it's not even finalized yet- makes sense to not date taken ones. also makes sense to not sleep with ones who are clearly not available for anything much further than that. nothing unexpected happened here really. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 So I met a lovely guy, we got on so so well.. same outlooks in life..same morals...as well as fancying each other. He's just going through the end of a divorce... We went on dates....he told he's parents and friend about me. Sent me a huge bouquet of flowers to my work for my birthday...drove over an hour to see me.., We spoke on the phone every night, and text all through the day. He said meeting me has knocked him sideways as he wasn't expecting it...and he really liked me...as I do him, He wanted is to be bf/gf So, he stayed over mine the other night as he had an interview near me...we slept together for the first time... Next day, he went off...no problems... He went to the interview, he didn't really want the job, but went for interview experience. Interview was rubbish as he called and told me. I sent him a lovely message back...basically saying, something will come up. He didn't reply. I left it...this was at 10 am, by the evening, nothing. I thought it was strange...but thought he just wanted time out. Next morning, nothing..,although I could see he was on line texting? I left until lunch time, I sent him a message saying " i don't know what's going on or if I have done anything...but I don't deserve this" He read it and blocked me. I can't believe he did that...I just felt a little used after he came over the night before... I just absolutely have no idea what to think...anyone have any ideas...?? That's all you said and he blocked you? Wow... talk about an overreaction. You said he *wanted* to be bf/gf so did you actually make it official or was it just talk? He could be going through something, maybe career wise based on that interview which made him pull away from you or maybe he gave you a bunch of flowery words in order to get you into bed. Either ones pretty rude concidering you didn't do anything to warrant it. Blocking just seems so extreme. He'll most likely come around. The question is will you be there waiting when he does? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 This is reason #456 why not to date someone who is MARRIED. When someone says they are "going through a divorce" - you turn around and walk the other way. Chances are, they are very much not going through a divorce. He could be sleeping next to her every night except the one night he was with you - and felt immense guilt when he went home. That's all you said and he blocked you? Wow... talk about an overreaction. You said he *wanted* to be bf/gf so did you actually make it official or was it just talk? He could be going through something, maybe career wise based on that interview which made him pull away from you or maybe he gave you a bunch of flowery words in order to get you into bed. Either ones pretty rude concidering you didn't do anything to warrant it. Blocking just seems so extreme. He'll most likely come around. The question is will you be there waiting when he does? He probably feared his wife would find your message so he blocked you. You deserve to ONLY pursue men and accept attention from men who are physically and emotionally available to date. The only way he can "come around" in a way acceptable to you is if he has a divorce decree in hand. And then you don't know if he can be faithful because he cheated on his wife with you. btw, a married man CANNOT be your boyfriend. he is a husband to someone else. Link to comment
Redfox1877 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 He's been seperate for two years...he ended it, and I've seen the divorce papers as he wanted to be honest Link to comment
happyfrank Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Sounds like a friend talked to him and told him he was heading into a serious relationship or back together with his wife. Next time find truly single guy with no drama. Good luck. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 He's been seperate for two years...he ended it, and I've seen the divorce papers as he wanted to be honest He is still not divorced. It has not been finalized. You may have seen the original filing, but it is not a decree of divorce. He is still MARRIED. Many couples who originally file divorce papers don't end up completing the divorce because they reconcile. They could be sleeping with eachother. You just don't know. For your own well being --- a marriage is not over til its over . Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Oh crap, I totally missed the part about him going through a divorce. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 IMO you escalated it too quickly. To take no reply as him slighting you is an over reaction Link to comment
Redfox1877 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ok, maybe...does that give the right to just block me without any response. I thought we was adult and honest with each other. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Did you go to his house sometimes too? Link to comment
Redfox1877 Posted August 10, 2017 Author Share Posted August 10, 2017 Yes....we went to each other's houses Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ok, maybe...does that give the right to just block me without any response. I thought we was adult and honest with each other. No, it does not. That was uncalled for and immature, in my opinion. However, people don't always do what's right, unfortunately. He just showed you the type of man he really is. I'm sorry it was such a sudden ending. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Ok, maybe...does that give the right to just block me without any response. I thought we was adult and honest with each other. Does it give him the right or make it right? Of course not. What it does show you is emotional instability. The whole fast and furious and sweep you off your feet type stuff, moving at a 1000 miles per hour is another clue to you that this person may not be what they seem. The whole too good to be true concept. If you want to be really brutally honest with yourself, then you need to acknowledge that you really didn't know him enough to think much of him. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted August 10, 2017 Share Posted August 10, 2017 Sounds like things moved really fast, and he got very caught up in the initial emotion (infatuation) and the 'idea' of you. Once he reached his initial goal (sex), which isn't necessarily a bad thing, he pulled back to reassess. This is quite common in my experience. Just a few days, no more than 2-3 and they come back and proceed forward. My ex used to do this sometimes in the very early stages of our RL which lasted six years. That message you sent after only one day of no contact (and him having a crappy interview) saying "don't know what's going on; I don't deserve this," was a bit over the top, imo. I think him blocking you was a reaction to feeling attacked. Oh well, what's done is done. He may or may not return; if he does, see how you feel then. For some reason I doubt he will though, sorry. Link to comment
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