Urgent advice on relationships

[JellyfishXxx]

what are professionals to do about this, urgently? what do YOU suggest, OP? that they teach you how to handle your psychological distress, suggest services that help with the social aspect, teach interpersonal skills, adjust their meds? it helps to know what you want, otherwise if you show up at someone's office saying i'm lonely and marginalized and it's urgent this stops....while admitting you spend your days in bed and avoid things that could help you socialize...well. they'll write an rx at best. so i'd suggest specifying to them what areas you'd personally like to work on so that you improve your circumstance, your interpersonal skills, your self-soothing skills and asking them to be directed to whatever place or person can help with that specifically.

 

but if you mean that you have been sent to licensed therapist after licensed therapist and none of them are helpful, you won't be met with much enthusiasm.

 

i still don't understand the issue with the social coach either.

 

What is rx?

[LaHermes]

Rx means a prescription (also known as a script) for medication.

[JellyfishXxx]

Well I don't know why they'd write an rx. Yes I am lonely, yes I am not doing anything I can to stop this because what I do does not really work. I know there is definitely an issue with me as far as socialising. I may not be as positive towards people as I should be. But again it boils down in a way to having no one to teach, guide, be there for me. Probably. The really important thing is that I hope this can be solved ... so I feel connected to people ... otherwise I'll keep being stuck alone. Somebody needs to wake me up from this. Just unless I am actually there and they see me interact, I don't know how this would happen.

[0tt02]

The distance from people because of your past will take time and the right therapist. Distance with flat mate a little more simple. Everyday say hi/bye depending on situation. Get comfortable with that little bit of communication. Then move in to a statement like "How is your day?" After a couple weeks or so of that you can move on to a full conversation. I know it sounds stupid but it works.

[zippitt]

I would also research up on Loneliness, many people, even people with great social skills are lonely. Obviously not being able to communicate socially makes things worse, but socialization is something you have to just try and do over and over even if it feels like failure. Everyone starts off at some point learning to socialize, for most of us it starts when we are young, but if you didn't have that in your life the only option is to start now. Many therapists and counselors should be able to offer your group sessions in which you can talk to other people about your problems which is a double win for you if you can find a group, you get to talk about your lack of social skills while at the same time improving them.

 

You do sound frustrated though, like you want some jump or quick fix, understand this is going to be a long slow learning process, you must have patience and persistence, and you absolutely MUST get help for an outside source, try and try again until you find someone who seems to help, but slow down and give them a chance.

[JellyfishXxx]

This might be a longer post.

I literally don't know how to live. It is a serious serious issue.

Today the doctor said they only deal with "physical issues" and I should see a psychiatrist. She did give me a depression questionnaire but it's not depression. Last time I missed the appointment with the regular psych. (I overslept) and they didn't want to see me. After hours finally another psychiatrist saw me but said they only have 10 minutes. I explained, they only asked the regular questions (do you have visions, do you sleep) and said "bye". Next appointment with regular psych. is in more than a month (they may only suggest hospital where you simply sleep for days). I looked for social coaching, it is mainly therapists abroad who do that (not here) so you can't see them in person.

I cannot keep like this any more. I am worried I'm becoming an outcast. I go out and walk but I feel alone as I do so, not like I might meet someone new at all. The conversations with any "clerks" stay at the basics ("can I have this, thank you"). I know something is missing desperately. I can't wait for something that might never come. Because I do not make conversational bonds or "entice" someone, what others take for granted. I do not feel close. I exist. Occasionally I feel panic like I want to scream for people even though they're there but we're not talking at the time. I pray, too.

A bit about parent, where we used to go she would just be quiet and say nothing (e.g. restaurant) and that was fine with her. It is rude and not fine. She used to talk to her partner but had distance to me. When younger she thought it fine I hardly leave the house and the several times a year she drove me to see a friend was like she is doing a lot. When there she sees me but does not give it much notice and has zero "relationship". Instead of socialising, I often just read books and anything I did was centred on learning mainly. Etc. I can't say exactly what is "it". But it's becoming unhealthy, disordered, wrong in every way. I am alone more or less and it is not intentional, I can not create a life I feel is right. Please help me find an answer. I can't live like I don't exist.

[LaHermes]

Jelly.

 

Go to the top of this page where you will find "Live Expert Advice"

 

 

 

click on that and scroll down till you find one that suits your present situation.

[JellyfishXxx]

LaHermes, that is quite expensive... I don't know these therapists ... it seems there could be better places to look for help and I have difficulty paying in one piece here. Also do you have experience?

[LaHermes]

Experience in what exactly? J.

 

I merely put up the information in case you found it useful. Of course you don't know these therapists, and you will only know one of them once you contact, the same as with any therapist anywhere.

[JellyfishXxx]

OK. You know what, I also worry sometimes that I might fall into "bad" company and the related things ... I have no support at all and I worry what would happen. I think I've been worried since early age about these things.