Jobfac7 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 We have been broken up for about 8 months now. We have constantly been in contact during this time and have even talked about getting back together. Things go great for weeks at a time, then she pushes me away saying she doesn't want to catch feelings and doesn't want to be exclusive. A couple days ago she did this same exact thing. I planned a fancy dinner for her and she was excited about it. Fast forward to the day of the date and all of a sudden she doesn't feel comfortable with it since we aren't together. Instead she invited me out to catch lunch and talk some more. I was under the impression that we were going to try to make things wotk, but she told me we should just be friends for now and she wants to see other people. I get to the venue and she notices my phone going off. She asks who it is and I tell her the truth... I made plans with someone else after the talk. She freaks out and leaves. I'm pretty sure she blocked me on everything and have not heard from her in 3 days. I just don't understand how she can tell me to see other people, but gets bent out of shape when I actually do it? How can she possibly be this big of a hypocrite? I'm not allowed to be upset when she makes plans with other people, but as soon as I do the world explodes and she hates me. Need some advice on how to approach this situation. This whole break up has been eating me up inside. Thanks for the help! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmarcwho59 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 As a wise person (Dominique) recently told me, I need to cut all communication with my ex, I would believe you do too. Move on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight925 Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Simple: because she wanted you to say no, you don't want to see other people, and that you want to fight to have her back exclusively. Passive aggressive. Games. Go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jobfac7 Posted June 9, 2017 Author Share Posted June 9, 2017 I have made it clear that I want to get back with her and that I'm not going to see other people while we figure our relationship out. The other day just finally threw me off the deep end. There's only so much I can take especially since I've been 100% up front with her and she still can't make up her mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Why have you made this so easy for her? Stop being her back burner/doormat guy. She likes you around for her ego and attention. That's why she does not want you to date others. Time to go NC! Can't you see that your way is making the situation worse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Her actions show that she is clearly done. Find someone, who would not risk losing you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shessofly Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 She wants to keep you in your proper place - stuck on her and longing for her affection while she tests the waters with other men. She needs you there if/when things don't work out elsewhere. The moment she canceled that date you should have told her to contact you when she's serious about reconciling. You've had 8 months to take it slow and be 'friends'. And what kind of friend gets angry because you are going on a date? Manipulation tactic. She's punishing you for having the gall to consider that there are other women out there. *gasp* I hope you didn't cancel the date with the person who truly was interested in getting to know you. Get out there and see other women, you will find that you have other options and can actually spend time with someone who wants to be with you. Let her throw her fit. Your ex is stringing you along. You are wasting time with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissCanuck Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Anyone who can't make up their mind is not interested enough in you. Stop tolerating this and tell your ex to hit the bricks. She's too immature for a committed relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abitbroken Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 She is not "seeing other people". She is dating. She is seeing people.. She is not juggling you and three other guys - where "seeing other people" would be the right term. THis is why breaking contact is the thing to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherrySher Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Sounds like a case of, she doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. You don't need that. You've been fair to her and told her you wanted things to work out between you two and you've given her fair chances to be back together. She is hemming and hawing and taking her time. That's total games. If she really cared about you the way she said she does, she would have told you straight out that she wanted to work on things between you two and remain exclusive. She handed you off, you have no obligations to her now. If she ever get's back a hold of you, tell her just that. You asked to be back together and she didn't want to. That's her problem, not yours. Continue dating and going on with your life. Find your own happiness and stop letting her control your emotions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ParisPaulette Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 Tell her to get over her double standards. That you didn't sign up to be part of a male harem. Then block and delete her and go out with your friends and stop all contact with her. There are people who want others at their beck and call, but do want a harem - male and female. This happened with my husband years before we met. He was dating this woman, they were serious, one day she came to him and said she wanted to see other people. He was upset, but respected her wishes, so they did the whole breakup thing. Two weeks later he was at a party when he ran into her. He'd been talking with a young lady there, nothing serious, just dancing and chatting. She got very upset, asked to see him outside, was visibly angry and then had to the nerve to tell him, "Look, I want to date other people, but can I ask you not to do the same thing?" He just laughed and told her to (expletive) then went back into the party. And went home then blocked her number for good. At that point he told me he understood it wasn't about her loving him. She wanted to control him and to fancy herself so important he'd sit on a shelf pining while she slept with other men. And he was just not willing to do it. So you need to hold on to your self-respect, block and delete your ex, tell her it's done and walk away. Because what you describe is about a) control and b) her ego. And neither of those things have anything to do with love or a decent human being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted June 9, 2017 Share Posted June 9, 2017 I'm sure all of these issues will disappear once you accept that this is a breakup. Until then, you're beating a dead horse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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