Boyfriend or New Guy???

[Harley89]

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We have a huge age gap 11years😬. We met at work and fell hard for each other. We've obviously had our ups and downs but grew stronger throughout the year.

 

My boyfriend has two kids and is not able to have anymore children unless he gets his vasectomy reversed which he says he wants to for me. He claims he wants to marry me one day and have our wonkttle family which I have wanted with him for awhile now.

 

We have some trust issues from day one that I've tried to get over but seem to be struggling. We don't have a lot in common but I do love him and could see us together forever.

 

I recently met this New Guy on FB just as friend and we've been talking occasionally. He has so much interest that I do and we have so much in common. We want the same things in life and able to acheieve them. He always makes the comment if I'd only give him a chance to show me how great we could be. I'm torn bc I do love my boyfriend but I just feel like we are at two different points in our lives. He's exspericened so much already and my life is just beginning.

 

Do I continue with my boyfriend to see if he will truly give me a future I want even though there's age difference and trust issues? Or do I pursue someone who I know can be the man I've always wanted? Help!!!!! 😬😔

[Wiseman2]

This interest in the fb guy is only highlighting what you already know and that is you and your bf are at different life stages. How old is he?

 

Yeah the rosy glow stage the first year is future talk, vasectomy talk, marriage talk, one big happy family talk,etc. But do you even get along with his kids, family, friends, ex, etc.?

 

The fb guy is not in the running so there's nothing to choose except continue with this bf or not.

I do love my boyfriend but I just feel like we are at two different points in our lives. He's exspericened so much already and my life is just beginning

[ThatwasThen]

I think you should break up with your current boyfriend because

(1) You're incompatible... You want children and his vasectomy reversal may not turn out in your favour

(2) You have trust issues with him that you can't seem to get past

(3) You are at different places in life

(4) You are having an emotional affair with your new facebook "friend"

 

However: I don't think you should break up with your current and jump into something new with the guy you have been having an emotional affair with... How great of a guy could he be if he'd ask for you to "give him a chance" when he knows you're in a relationship? He does know you're in a relationship, right?

 

Or do I pursue someone who I know can be the man I've always wanted?

You don't even know this guy past what he's told you so it would be more accurate to say "he MAY be the man I've always wanted."

 

Does he know you're in a relationship?

[abitbroken]

You don't even know this guy past what he's told you so it would be more accurate to say "he MAY be the man I've always wanted."

 

Does he know you're in a relationship?

 

And beware of guys that come on too strong, too fast!

[abitbroken]

btw, keep in mind, divorced men potentially starting a second family sometimes talk a good game with a younger woman but when things come down to brass tacks and you are 5 years in and no proposal, sometimes they decide they are content as things are and will not end up marrying you. So if there is ANYTHING about the relationship that is not well - such as the distrust - and you are also still in your prime years to have kids - I'd break up and tell him although you love him you decided you are not cut out to be a stepmom and do want a child of your own that isn't a maybe.

[Sexyeyes7]

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. We have a huge age gap 11years😬. We met at work and fell hard for each other. We've obviously had our ups and downs but grew stronger throughout the year.

 

My boyfriend has two kids and is not able to have anymore children unless he gets his vasectomy reversed which he says he wants to for me. He claims he wants to marry me one day and have our wonkttle family which I have wanted with him for awhile now.

 

We have some trust issues from day one that I've tried to get over but seem to be struggling. We don't have a lot in common but I do love him and could see us together forever.

 

I recently met this New Guy on FB just as friend and we've been talking occasionally. He has so much interest that I do and we have so much in common. We want the same things in life and able to acheieve them. He always makes the comment if I'd only give him a chance to show me how great we could be. I'm torn bc I do love my boyfriend but I just feel like we are at two different points in our lives. He's exspericened so much already and my life is just beginning.

 

Do I continue with my boyfriend to see if he will truly give me a future I want even though there's age difference and trust issues? Or do I pursue someone who I know can be the man I've always wanted? Help!!!!! 😬😔

 

I think you just answered your own question without even knowing it. Your last line seems to say everything. I would have to agree with you. Go with the new guy who you have more in common with.

[mahogohney]

i do not think you should leave the guy you are with for that fb guy.

starting a relationship with someone by leaving someone else could really hurt your new relationship, and cause allot of pain for yourself, your boyfriend...even for the new guy who wants you to give him a chance. i think you should tell the new guy that you want to respect your relationship that you are in and give it the very best possible chance to work out. the new guy may feel sad about that.. but a respect for relationship will be established. and he will also know that saying things like that to you is not fair. then you can have your time put fully into the relationship you are in right now. if things do not work out, and maybe you are both too incompatible then you both can respectfully try to work things out...or perhaps end the relationship there. but that is the way to do things . it is hard because there are people around you trying to sway you from your relationship. but if you and your boyfriend went into that relationship both single and really felt deeply for each other. i say it is worth it to give it a chance.

[SherrySher]

Yeah, cause we all know that relationships that started out as cheating always end up working out......sigh.

(that's sarcasm btw)

[lostandhurt]

Just because some guy on FB whispers what you want to hear you are ready to dump your long term bf for him?

 

Stop the emotional affair, have a sit down with your bf about the future and decide if you want to stay in the relationship. If not end it honestly and in the most caring way possible but do not take up with this fb guy that is trying to steal you from another guy. He is not a stand up guy, just another snake.

 

Lost

[SooSad33]

11 yr difference, him already with kids.. together just over a year and talk of kids? A little fast??

 

Especially now that you're showing an interest in another guy now... phew

 

If you're acting out this way, then rid of the Bf.. cause you're not that interested in him, obviously, if you're seeing someone else of interest.

Aren't you glad you didnt have a kid with him now??

 

IMO, He's something new to you, who's showing you some interest, which has caught your interest.

Migh I suggest you do NOT discuss having kids with him until at least the 2 yrs mark- if you make it there.

 

Don't be silly by jumping the gun from one guy- to another then think kids with every guy you meet.

Give it time! Time to get to know him.. and see IF these feelings remain.

 

Or do I pursue someone who I know can be the man I've always wanted?

- You've just sparked up 'recently'? Then you have no clue if this is a good one, for you yet. Do slow down.