What's It Like To Be Sought After?

[sotiredofit]

You're quoting completely useless sources.

 

Ok, fine, not money. But money quantifies value.

 

I find people like suffering and they like a reason to complain. "Woe is me, I'm beautiful and unlucky"

 

I don't buy it. Beautiful people can attract a mate easier. How they do in those relationships may be different, but they can attract own easier. They have to work less hard at work (see my source). They have more confidence which trickles down to other aspects of their lives. I can go on forever.

 

I have struggles that an attractive person simply wouldn't have. For instance, I sometimes wonder if I'll be lucky enough to have another relationship. Do you feel that way?

 

It annoys me when attractive people complain about it.

 

I don't buy that attractive people are at a disadvantage for relationships. What I DO buy is they feel less inclined to work hard in relationships or they feel they can do better, so they jump to the next best thing. I see it all the time in my life.

 

But I'm done arguing about it. Being attractive is a gift I wish I had. But I simply don't. And I'm incredibly envious of those that intrinsically know they are attractive. I have never felt that, in my life, and I would love to know what it's like.

 

Don't buy it then. You have no clue. Unless you're on the other side, you're not qualified to discuss it.

 

Go ahead and be envious. Sad life for you, though, thinking everyone else who's "more attractive" has a better life. Is that how you really want to live???

 

Live in your delusions that those of us who have model looks are so freakin happy, so you can be miserable. Yeah..makes a TON of sense

[sotiredofit]

 

I am sorry to hear you have struggles, my advice would be to look within yourself, you are the common denominator in your disastrous relationships, your picker may be off. See my signature.

 

And you don't know me, so don't try to rationalize why I have problems dating, either.

[Capricorn3]

OP, do you intend coming back to respond to all the feedback you have received? I note you never bother coming back to any of your threads. Would be nice to hear your views.

[mustlovedogs]

Don't buy it then. You have no clue. Unless you're on the other side, you're not qualified to discuss it.

 

Go ahead and be envious. Sad life for you, though, thinking everyone else who's "more attractive" has a better life. Is that how you really want to live???

 

Live in your delusions that those of us who have model looks are so freakin happy, so you can be miserable. Yeah..makes a TON of sense

 

I never, ever said they have a happier life. Likewise, I never said my life is bad. That's one component of life that I haven't experienced, and I'm envious of it. Likewise, people are envious that I travel extensively. Such is life. Everyone is jealous of something.

 

Are you attractive then? I'm curious. I have seen where it's easier, and you may not realize what comes easier because you've had it your whole life. For instance, one of my biggest fears after getting dumped was that getting him was a fluke in the first place and I missed my shot of love. I've been single 1.5 years, and I still wonder if I'm good enough to find a mate. I have lots of good qualities, but being attractive is the first step, right? If you're attractive, have you ever wondered if you'll ever find someone else?

 

Objectively, can you see why it would be comforting to not have that concern? To be so confident in yourself to know something will come along?

 

To say there aren't any benefits is incredibly naive. But let's reverse the question. If it's so bad, tell me why you would rather be unattractive. If being beautiful is so bad, surely being unattractive is better.

[mustlovedogs]

 

You're very irrationally angry.

 

If you're upset your relationships don't work out, I'm sure this is why.

[katrina1980]

 

That is some attitude you got going on there, good luck with that. And no of course I dont know Tiger Woods ex wife personally, but there has been enough written about her to get a good understanding about it. She married him for his money, and soon after they divorced she married another guy even richer than Tiger was. Again, had she not been attractive I doubt highly she would have been afforded so many opportunities.

 

And btw I am also very attractive, and I have never been cheated on by any of my boyfriends, getting married in October to a good guy who I picked, we have been together three years. Again, look within yourself. You can blame others and never evolve, but that won't get you very far, you 'are' the common denominator whether you wish to acknowledge that or not. Good luck, hope you find peace someday.

[IAmFCA]

Making more money isn't what life is about, btw. It's way more fulfilling to have a healthy relationship, and in that regard, attractive people are at a disadvantage.

 

And it really sucks if you're both attractive and SMART, as a woman.

 

]

 

Um... id rather be smart AND attractive than one or the other.

[lovingthefall]

Being seen as attractive absolutely does make some things in life easier than it is for others.

 

It also absolutely can and does make other things more difficult in life than it is for others.

 

All this anger, complaining about how easy so-called good looking people have it is very myopic.

 

Everyone has their own hurdles to jump and a more open-minded attitude makes us all better people.

 

Obviously no one wants to hear someone complaining that they’re too smart and good looking.

 

Which, ironically, clearly shows one of the problems that so-called good looking people have.

 

Everyone is so focused on believing that those people have the golden ticket, that few people care or believe that they have just as many problems as anyone else.

 

I understand the anger towards people that “have it easier in life than I do”. It’s so much more complicated than that, though.

 

As are all of our lives, regardless of any superficial benefits.

[IAmFCA]

For discussion's sake, let's say that attractive people have an advantage over others.

 

Ok. Now what? Two choices: 1) sit on your couch feeling foul. Or, 2) Get up, go out, and play the hand you're dealt.

 

Let's say you pick #2. Great! Two choices: 1) Throw your cards on the table because this game stinks. Or, 2) Play your hand well, so that you are invited back to play some more, and so on.

 

 

The difference between happy and not is created by whether you choose 1 or 2 in both cases.

 

That's true for each and every one of us from the least favored to the most. Examples are all around us, from models who end their own lives, or have recurring instances of unhappy relationships, to the most unfortunate faces that grin ear to ear doing what they love.

 

Seen Lyle Lovett in concert lately? If not, youtube something from his recent tour with John Hiatt. It's a thing of beauty.

[Maggl]

It's not as fun or exciting as you think. Especially when meeting new people, you get the feeling they only want you for your looks, and care less for your character. Makes you a bit paranoid to be honest. And when you try to sort through your admirers, trying to find who actually likes you as a person and not just the looks, you get called names from the ones you don't select. "Because you think you're better".

[DrDax]

Way too subjective to make any kind of real judgment.. who has the right to tell anyone else that dating is hard or easy for that person? Plus.. too many variables, male, female, age, location, etc, to ever suggest that physical appearance generally makes 'dating' easier. I am a guy that gets hit on a lot, has this made dating any easier... HELL NO, i'm shy! Has it helped me in other areas of my life? Maybe! Plus just because I may get hit on, doesn't mean I find them attractive, or a match personality wise, it hasn't stopped me getting cheated on, hasn't stopped women I approach immediately thinking I'm a player or something, there are other barriers beyond appearance! The only way it may make a difference is if you let your self worth and confidence be owned by your own perception of your appearance!

[Wiseman2]

Therapy is a good bet if you are obsessed with your appearance and perceive that to be the root of your problems. Also people find vanity or bitterness unattractive.

 

Being insecure and having this imagination that you have to be rich and tall and built is nonsense. Be yourself have nice profile good pics etc. Be well groomed get decent "date" clothes. Not every coffee meet will turn out. There are lots of duds.

 

Message women who interest you meet for coffee asap and see how it goes. You can't really do the "dating" part online.

[Jibralta]

For me it was a relief when I hit my 40s and while I was still attractive it was finally to men who were more interested in ME, not my bod, but ME. I very much like that I can now run to the grocery store and be left alone

 

You took the words right out of my mouth!!!

 

I've never had enough middle fingers for that kind of attention.

 

There were some benefits, of course: free drinks, free lunch, free dinner, better discounts, less speeding tickets, a healthy supply of dates. I was rather merciless, I'm afraid. But it's hard to respect people who go to such lengths when they don't even know me. They see only one thing and are totally blind to who I actually am. I feel sorry for and repulsed by men who look at women that way. I don't like people (men or women) who are so easily seduced by beauty or talent or anything, actually. I like men who have their minds intact. Pity and revulsion are closely related in me, I guess. Anyhoo, I've made a habit of dressing down, looking mean, and avoiding attention. I am quite comfortable here.

 

A couple of years ago, I saw an interview with Cybill Shepherd, where she discussed the day she realized that she was no longer as attractive to men as she had once been. Apparently, whenever Ms. Shepherd entered a room, she was accustomed to capturing the attention of most of the men in the room. But there came a day where this didn't happen, and she felt a moment of loss. When I saw this interview, I thought to myself, "Hmmmm, I may want to rethink my drabby style choices before I lose my looks forever!" So, I got all did up and walked uptown, where I was promptly and grossly catcalled by some creep on a bicycle. Uggh.

[ParisPaulette]

Interesting perspectives in this thread. Now here's another one. Looks are a worry of the young, the older one gets (hopefully) the more one realizes none of it matters, because age is the great equalizer. IF you live long enough to get there, that is. My elderly mother was a knockout in her day, a 20 on a scale of 10. Now she has to be shown how to eat, because the Alzheimer's has advanced to the point she is forgetting how to do basic bodily functions. You or I don't think twice about getting up out of a chair. Try losing the ability to remember how to even do that, then get back to me on how "being sought after" is soooo important. Because being sought after didn't save her from that fate at all.

 

Top of my worry list these days - let me keep my mind long after time takes everything else.

[johnnydanger]

so..you're suggesting that if someone is attractive, they have no problems??

 

bahahahahaha, yeah..no.

 

I'm a model. I get hit on by guys all the time.

 

I was married for 10 years, and after my divorce, I've had nothing but a series of short term dysfunctional relationships. Dating is HARD when you're attractive, for a ton of reasons. First off, so many guys just want to get me in bed, but they will say anything to do so. I never know whom to trust.

 

Secondly, I tend to attract douchebags, because nice guys won't approach me. I guess they're too scared. Or they assume i'm taken. I don'tk now what it is.

 

I'm starting to get to the point where I will just be happy single the rest of my life, because I've had so many awful experiences trying to date and have serious relationships.

This concept of how you attracted only douche bags and not nice guys can't be accurate. I keep hearing this from so many women, like 'where are all the good guys' etc. How can it be that no nice guy ever approached. Probably because you thought of those guys as not measuring up, maybe not good looking enough, not alpha jock confident, seemed nervous so you classified them as a creep, who knows?

 

You must have been one of those types of women I often sought, but never heard back from on many occasions.

[JaggerJim]

I generally carry a big stick around, to "beat them all off". "I had to beat them all off with a stick". It's exhausting.

[johnnydanger]

I generally carry a big stick around, to "beat them all off". "I had to beat them all off with a stick". It's exhausting.

Lol I guess you know what if feels like to have been a Beatle.