Aw615 Posted April 14, 2017 Share Posted April 14, 2017 Hi- I recently broke up with my boyfriend because I can't seem to get past our 14 year age difference. I'm 30, he's 44. He was my boss for a year and a half before we started dating about 10 months ago. He's funny, caring, great in bed, understanding and would literally do anything for me. When I first started seeing him, I kept looking for a catch because how could he be so sweet and perfect and never been married? He has no kids and neither have I. I want kids. I told him this right off the bat and he was all for it. I asked him why he'd never had kids and he said it just didn't happen but he is open to it, he just hadn't thought too much about it. Long story short, we spent 10 wonderful months together. Probably the healthiest relationship I've been. I can't stress what an amazing man he is. I love him. So naturally I broke up with him 4 days ago because no matter what I do I have not gotten past the fact that he is 14 years older. And he could not have been sweeter or more understanding about it. When I asked him if he was angry at me he said "Absolutely not. I love you more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. I'm heartbroken, disappointed, but there is no anger toward you. All I ever wanted was your happiness." It was heartwrenching. Didn't make this any easier. We are both adults. It's not like I'm 20 and he's 35, but ever since we got together I have not fully been able to get past the age thing. I only pushed it aside because he was so good to me and made it easy to forget that there was an age gap. Still the thought that he might die before me made me anxious. My father was 45 when I was born and I love him to death but it was sometimes very different growing up with an "older" dad, and not always in a good way. I'm not positive I want my kids to have an "older" dad like I did--- OR is this completely insane and irrational?? I know I should not feel this way, especially after 10 months of dating AND because I'm 30, not a child, AND he would marry me and knock me up tomorrow if I asked him to . I guess I thought the feeling would subside by now and when it didn't I realized I would have to break up with him before I got more attached (although I'm not sure that'd be possible). So I did last week and I've been a wreck ever since. So has he. My question is, am I being crazy? Is 14 years too much? I should not be so hung up on this, especially because it's ridiculous to assume that just because he's older he's going to go before me. I know how insane I sound. Especially because WHY do I worry about what MIGHT happen in the future if I am happy in the present? I don't know! But I worried about it enough to break the heart of someone I Love and who loves me beyond words. I have never been put in a situation (or put myself in that situation) before and it's affecting me deeper than I thought it would. Has anyone ever felt this way? I'm looking for some feedback, someone to tell me to get a grip or SOMETHING because I just broke up with a one in a million man simply because of oue age difference.... but I'm just as heart broken as if I had been dumped! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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