MacTheII Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Hi guys, this is my first post because i really have no one to ask about this. My girlfriend of two years and I went on a break a couple weeks ago because we had just been having a really bad week and my girlfriend thought that with her being so busy and snippy she would just make us worse. So I was like okay I guess we can go on a break and we did. We're 20 btw Like maybe five days later she asked if we could end the break and since we ended it we were good as new and everything seemed great to me. Anyway she had this internet friend and like, she never lets me see her talk to him or any of her other internet friends. So I try my hardest not to feel weird about it because I know having an invasive and protective boyfriend is terrible but it makes me so curious!!! So one night she's asleep and I'm trying to use Hulu because her moms account has no ads. So I text her brother with her phone asking for the password and I see her friends convo w her. So, against my better judgment I just start flipping through it and I see that they met up! This is very unusual because she and I don't really have any friends outside our little group. And then I see a text from her basically saying "we should wait and see how we feel before labeling this" so my heart starts thumping ninety miles an hour, did she cheat on me? I scroll up and eventually find out that they had been flirting a lot the entire time we were on a break and she was referring to me as her 'ex'. Which broke my ing heart, like, you can't imagine how distant you feel when you see your s/o refer to you that way until it happens. So they met up and he was talking about how he wanted to hold her but didn't have the guts and like that. And he slept over. So I wake her up and confront her about it, I'm like hysterical about it and I'm like apologizing for spying on her but asking her what happened. And she assured me that nothing physical happened they just watched videos and he slept on the couch, not with her. And she offers to block him on everything she has no feelings for him. And I ask her why she hasn't since clarified to him that she's with me. And she counters it by pointing out that she's been swerving him ever since. I don't ask her to block him because I have no idea how I should handle it. Anyway halfway through confronting her I just break down sobbing because I feel like I'm losing her and she grabs me and I start crying into her shoulder asking her if she's not satisfied or if I'm not making her happy and she insisted that we were good and she loves me. I don't know how to feel, that was a week ago and we've been good, but it's the same good we've always been and the same good we were right before we took a break. I don't know how to feel about it! Am I allowed to feel betrayed, am I even allowed to feel upset? Like, it's been nagging at me since and I can't reconcile it one way or another in my head at all. Like, can I trust any of her other private conversations now?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Sorry to hear this. However often "breaks" are used as a pass to check out others. "Being busy and snippy" sounds like a nonsense excuse and that she was planning to meet this guy but it didn't pan out and she came back. This isn't about you. It's about her stories about 'needing breaks because of busy and snippy' and 'he slept on the couch'. Do you doubt these stories? My girlfriend of two years and I went on a break a couple weeks ago because we had just been having a really bad week and my girlfriend thought that with her being so busy and snippy she would just make us worse. I see a text from her basically saying "we should wait and see how we feel before labeling this" and she was referring to me as her 'ex'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Sorry, but it sounds like she is keeping you as a back up. Never a fun party. Regardless of "having a bad week" Taking a break is "breaking up" If you don't think she is 100% into you, it's time to move onto someone who is more sure of you. Still, at 20 years young, you are still young so enjoy the casual lifestyle for a while, no need for a serious relationship at this stage. If you are patient, women in their late 20's early thirties have much interest in LTR.s Enjoy the next 10 years as a casual dater instead of trying to find the "keeper" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTheII Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 knowing her i do not think that anything physical would have happened just because of how shes been burned in the past and wouldnt rush into physical stuff. As far as sleeping together i do think she absolutely could have, but i mean, yeah i do doubt that he slept on the couch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTheII Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 I've gotten similar responses when ive asked a few other people. Im interested in if you think this looks any different outside of a vacuum? Like, with the ways she shows me she still loves me and the history we have. Does this one incident look any smaller or is it truly the same regardless of context? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 knowing her i do not think that anything physical would have happened just because of how shes been burned in the past and wouldnt rush into physical stuff. As far as sleeping together i do think she absolutely could have, but i mean, yeah i do doubt that he slept on the couch. I am grinning because I actually heard that exact "couch" excuse from my ex "nothing happened, I was really tired, so I fell asleep on his couch" Sure you did, and he offered a unicorn blanket too right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeartGoesOn Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 What will you do the next time she chooses to shop around, and comes up empty? Another "break," another adventure...I'd pass on that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTheII Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 well i mean thats the thing. I dont know if this was just a single mistake, a call she made under the haze of being sad and stressed from work. Or if this is something thats indicative of her character. i mean, i dont know what im doing as far as our future right now im still ruminating. but if i stayed and she did it again that would absolutely break the camels back for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DancingFool Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 well i mean thats the thing. I dont know if this was just a single mistake, a call she made under the haze of being sad and stressed from work. Or if this is something thats indicative of her character. i mean, i dont know what im doing as far as our future right now im still ruminating. but if i stayed and she did it again that would absolutely break the camels back for me She was so sad and soooo stressed she had time to line up another guy to mess around with? Who are you trying to kid here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyfrank Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 She is 20. I think she wanted to be single and free. It wasn't as fun so now she is back with you. Let her go. She is far from ready for a relationship. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt3939 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 A unicorn blanket? I'm guessing that it's dead? You do know those are endangered animals right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Longview01 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 well i mean thats the thing. I dont know if this was just a single mistake, a call she made under the haze of being sad and stressed from work. Or if this is something thats indicative of her character. i mean, i dont know what im doing as far as our future right now im still ruminating. but if i stayed and she did it again that would absolutely break the camels back for me Often in times of sadness I contact other woman and sleep over their places, my wife doesn't mind because we are on a break Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacTheII Posted March 21, 2017 Author Share Posted March 21, 2017 probably myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betterwithout Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Often in times of sadness I contact other woman and sleep over their places, my wife doesn't mind because we are on a break ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wiseman2 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 If they had 5 stars this hilarious and illustrative post would get them. Agree. The 'break' thing is nonsense. ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostandhurt Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 Okay she said she was snippy and too busy. Was that snippy and too busy for you? Because she seemed to have all kinds of time for this other guy. Don't forget what you read in those texts. She was flirty the whole time the break was going on, she didn't want to label it yet (sleeping on the couch and nothing happened doesn't require anyone asking to label it) AND she didn't come clean to you after the "break" that she met her "friend" You know deep down that this indicative of who she is. She asked for a break so she could give this other guy a test drive. Then she went back to you but kept him on the line. You both are being played by a cheater. Here are some quotes and facts and about cheaters: "He is just a friend" "Nothing happened" "He was a perfect gentleman and slept on the couch" Cheaters only tell you enough of the truth so you will forgive them. They never tell the whole truth. Cheaters justify their actions with BS The story is weak. This guy has been slowly working your girl to have sex with her and she finally gave it up. I know you don't think she would ever cheat on you because she isn't like that but before this would you have thought she would go behind your back and do what she did? There are thousands of posts on here where some guy or girl said the same exact thing only to find out they were cheated on. I don't see this relationship surviving this. You can choose to believe her or ignore this but it will come back and haunt you. I am sorry Lost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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