surfdog Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Am I over reacting? Before my wife and I got married she used to work in a Medical Office (she is a nurse). When we got engaged she moved into my condo and then 1-1/2 years later we got married. We’ve been married for 1-1/2 years together for 5-1/2 years total. When she moved in she got a new job near where we lived because before we lived 60 miles apart and keeping her old job was not realistic because of the distance. When we were dating and when we lived apart, she would tell me about her days and what happened each day as most couples do. She would talk about various people at her job and stories about them. They were all woman nurses with one male Dr. He was in charge of the office. He was in his early 50s (I’m estimating), my wife was late 20s-early 30s at the time. She is 34 (almost 35) now, I’m 45. A fair amount to the stories involved the male Dr. but nothing over the top but enough that I got to know a few things about him from her stories and I could tell she though highly of him. She would tell me that the woman nurses would always make sure the Dr.’s work was complete and taken care of (they’d cover his ass but not in a bad way….in other words, they took care of him and a lot of work for him and seemed to really cross his I’s and do this T’s for him). It sounded like a tight knit group of people and my wife would comment about how it was just him and the rest were women (maybe implying that it boosted his ego, I’m not sure exactly what she meant by it). According to my wife the Dr. had a tendency to be a little loose as far as conduct in the office, nothing too crazy, but he would swear and use words like balls and penis. According to my wife he adored his wife and kids, was married for a long time and would never do anything to jeopardize that (I’m not sure why she would bring this up…..). I tried not to read into this. One day she referred to him as her work spouse. I had never heard of such a thing and it took me off guard. I have a tendency to get very jealous and it been a plague for me over the years with various relationships (I’m much better now but not perfect and I also did therapy for years for jealousy and similar issues). I began to get jealous of the Dr. and as time went on and I heard more work stories (some with him, some without), I started to get more jealous when his name would come up. She seemed to look up to him and talk about him highly. My mind was racing for months and I eventually asked my wife if she ever slept with him. She looked at me kind of crazy and said “No!” My jealous feelings subsided (at least regarding him) and I eventually forgot about him. He and his wife were invited to our wedding but never replied to the invite and never showed up. Fast forward 1.5 years after marriage. My wife is friends on FB with her old co-workers from that office, including the Dr. Last night she was checking her phone and said “This is so rude!” I said “What?” She said “(insert Dr.’s name) XXX’s brother just posted a picture of them on FB when they were younger and they both had hair…I (she) wrote a comment saying “You had hair back then (or something to that effect)!? Then the brother wrote back, “Well I thought that was a given!?” “I’m (my wife) going to reply to tell him to not be rude and make stupid comments!” I’m not sure what or if she replied but she was on her phone for about 5 minutes after that typing something. So basically my wife made a comment about the picture, the Dr.’s bother replied back and my wife didn’t like his reply saying his reply was rude. Honestly I did not see any harm in what the brother wrote and I don’t know what she was so bet out of shape over it. My wife’s reaction is what bothered me. Why would she get so bend out of shape? She does have a tendency to get irritated over thing like that (when she thinks someone is insulting her). This situation bothered me more because it had to do with the Dr. Am I reading into this too much? I’m trying to keep my jealousy in check but it feel like there is something there but I know jealousy can make your mind race and read into everything, making something out of nothing. Like maybe she did have a “relationship” with him and she is defending him (the Dr.) from the bothers comment. She just seemed to react to strongly over a simple comment. On the other hand maybe it’s me over reacting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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