How do you guys deal with the anxiety?

[Hds2014]

I've only recently started NC. I'm about a week or so in. Initially I felt empowered as I felt like this was the one thing I hadn't tried yet, and probably what I should've done all along. I feel like I'm taking my life back and overall it's a positive thing but I reach points in my days, usually in the afternoon, where I just have intense anxiety about it and the doubts come. The anxiety sucks but it's not as bad as it was when I was pinning over someone who was indifferent.

 

Does this get easier?

I want NC to be for me to focus on myself and push forward but for a lot of us there is still hope in the back of our pocket. At what point does the feeling of still waiting start to fade?

 

If you guys have any suggestions on how to get out of the slump I find myself in at some points. I'd appreciate it. I know overall NC is the best thing for me to do. I've tried everything else. If reconciliation does ever come one day, I know I need to be a different and stronger person.

[Matt3939]

I'd set some goals. That's what I've done. Not huge ones but ones big enough that they will take a while. That way I can make smaller daily goals. This has taken up my time lately when I'm not at work. Good luck

[Wiseman2]

You are doing all the right things, no contact, working on being your best self, etc. Breakups suck and it comes in waves but generally continues to get better everyday.

[Bob2526]

Im right there with you. My break up occurred 2 months ago and I'm several weeks in with NC. It's my first break up and I had a difficult first month. I still get the urge to text or call her but I know I need to better myself and learn to live without her and focus on myself. I try not to hold on to the hope because I don't want to set myself up for failure and I'm just trying to learn how to be alone and single again. The pain and emotions eventually subsides. It's just different for everyone but as days pass it does get a little easier. Hiking, family, and friends have helped me a lot and I'm doing the things that I enjoy. I still think about her often but I always try and tell myself I need to take care of myself. There's not points in worrying about things you cannot control.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

Hey there, good luck to you.

 

I also struggle in the afternoons- so I definitely plan to reduce stress and not expect anything too much from myself during those hours. I also pledge to not believe any judgements or decisions I might make during those hours.

[reinventmyself]

The anxiety has to be the hardest part, hands down.

It is for me.

 

I have just learned to ride it out.

I think the more I fight it the worse it is. I just accept that it's part of the process and I almost make myself

just sit in the middle of it and accept that it's going to happened and allow it to pass.

 

I used to kid myself and overbook myself, run around or drink too much wine . . anything to avoid it.

It's still there waiting for you, unfortunately.

 

I just sort of make peace with it, invite in and face it head on.

 

Hang in there!

[Pretzel]

Sorry you are going through this. The pain of anxiety can be unbearable, i think the best remedy for this is exercise. If you tire yourself out enough, the endorphins in your body will relax you a lot more, and you'll find it easier to just crash and fall asleep without any torturing thoughts at night to keep you awake. Even with mild anxieties, I go to my local fitness club and know a good swim will sort me out. It also helps untangle overly emotional thoughts, you purge your system. For me, swimming works best. But some people like running too, or a totally new sport you've never done before, that will make you feel empowered and strong.

It will get better, hang in there

[Hollyj]

Stay busy!

 

I got involved in many new activities - anything that sounded interesting - to keep my mind occupied. It was a great benefit as I found new interests, and made some terrific friends.

 

Time and NC are great healers, too. I am assuming you blocked.

[KMO7970]

Afternoons are also the worst time for me. Just try to stay distracted during what you know are your worst times of day. It can also just be comforting to know that the feelings that crop up will absolutely pass.