There must be something wrong with me?

[Wolfshook]

Recently, I manage to get girls attention, get a dance and even get a number. But it never goes further than some texting. I cannot get a date.

So I figured out,there has to be something wrong with me then.

 

I'd love to get an advice on what I can do to find out what's wrong and how to fix it?

[Krankor]

How long were you texting this girl before you asked her on a date. Did you ask her on a specific date or was it "Hey, you wanna do something sometime?"

 

Were you flirty or did you talk about inane things until you'd thoroughly friendzoned yourself?

 

Or did you get too intense too fast and weird her out?

 

You didn't give much info here so it's hard to say.

[j.man]

"But it never gets further than some texting."

 

I think it might be that it's getting to the point of "some texting" that's throwing your game off. It's not like online dating where you might want to get a quick bit of back and forth banter in before you ask them out. You've already met these women. You've danced with them. After you send her the obligatory, "Hey [x], it's [x] from [bar], hope you made it home fine last night" and hear back, your next message should be asking her out for lunch or coffee the next weekend, or whatever your go-to is.

 

That's really all I can offer with the information given.

[pippy longstocking]

yeah the fabulous ( but not as fab as me ) j man has got it down .. you need to swoop in for a date straight away .. are you doing idle chit chat .

[Betterwithout]

Texting is the worst form of communication we have to work with. It is dumbing down our species.

Next time use texting to make plans. that's it.

 

Make your next text :

I heard about this new (cool restaurant, fun coffee shop, new event in town, etc), I was thinking of checking it out Friday, wanna join me?

[Wolfshook]

How long were you texting this girl before you asked her on a date. Did you ask her on a specific date or was it "Hey, you wanna do something sometime?"

 

Were you flirty or did you talk about inane things until you'd thoroughly friendzoned yourself?

 

Or did you get too intense too fast and weird her out?

 

You didn't give much info here so it's hard to say.

 

What I mean by some texting is mild teasing such as "hope your legs dont hurt from those moves yesterday",and then I try to make a date as quickly as I can. I hate texting,but this is the way people my age apparently do it these days. Since I hate it,I usualy try to keep it at making a date. And I actually do ask on date as in "would you like to go to such and such place this saturday?".

 

It's not just one instance,it has happened few times now.

 

What I got as responses on asking them out was "sorry I cant", "I have plans" and just acting as if asking never happened and continuing to talk about something else.

[DancingFool]

Maybe you need to keep mild teasing for in person and not over texts. The thing with a little teasing is that how it comes across depends a lot on your tone, face expression, etc. All the things you don't have in texts. So what seems like a witty comment to you can read like bunny boiler stuff to another person. Too much room for things to go bad on you.

 

Anyway, above aside, rejection sucks, but it happens to everyone more often than not. Sure she might have thought you were cute at the bar, but the next day her ex called about getting back together, found out mom is sick, got that college/work transfer approval they've been waiting on, etc, etc, etc. Point being that there are a million reasons why someone will decide not to meet you after all that have nothing to do with you.

 

You just keep on at it until you meet that one where things actually click mutually.

[Wiseman2]

Have you tried just cutting right to the chase and suggesting a specific date? The "teasing" may not translate well over text and may be a turn off. If they give you their number it's safe to assume that there is at least some interest. But yeah, some will be flakes..

What I mean by some texting is mild teasing such as "hope your legs dont hurt from those moves yesterday",and then I try to make a date as quickly as I can. I hate texting.

[Krankor]

I'm 40 and didn't grow up on texting, but honestly it's the greatest thing to come along in my life. I dislike phone calls for the most part; they force me to drop what I'm doing and converse.

 

It definitely has its disadvantages, no argument here, but it's become the preferred form of communication for the youngins' and even some of us older folk. No point trying to fight it; in the dating world today you just have to learn to use that tool properly.

 

OP, if I had to guess, you may have come off a little desperate by texting and trying to set up a date almost immediately afterward. It's usually best not to wait too long to make your move, but let the dust settle a little after initially meeting someone, then try to get a little rapport going, then ask her out.

 

But, maybe as DancingFool suggests, she was feeling it a d having fun that night but it was just never going to translate to anything else.

 

Dating is a numbers game, plain and simple.

[Wolfshook]

Yeah, I guess I should try to cut on trying to break the ice with a joke.

 

Honestly, I'm not even hurt by these rejections,they just got me questioning myself.

 

@krankor, you mean wait 3 days? I mean tommorrow and then a day? (if you get the reference

 

Anyway,thank you for your support. I'll try what all of you sugested so I'll se where it goes. There is nothing I can lose.

[origami]

Don't do texting, call them and set up a date. Talk when you meet them in person, no texting or on the phone. Use the phone when you already know them as a convinience.

 

Also, unless you did something awkward or are too pushy to them, then they don't know you and there's nothing wrong with you. They simply didn't have the patience to know more about you. In other words, if you behaved well and you're rejected it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it means something about your "offer" wasn't particularly interesting to them. Imagine you tried to sell to them something extremely cool but the client might not need your product, doesn't understand it, or simply rude and doesn't like you because the product is not their favorite color

[Wolfshook]

Don't do texting, call them and set up a date. Talk when you meet them in person, no texting or on the phone. Use the phone when you already know them as a convinience.

 

Also, unless you did something awkward or are too pushy to them, then they don't know you and there's nothing wrong with you. They simply didn't have the patience to know more about you. In other words, if you behaved well and you're rejected it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, it means something about your "offer" wasn't particularly interesting to them. Imagine you tried to sell to them something extremely cool but the client might not need your product, doesn't understand it, or simply rude and doesn't like you because the product is not their favorite color

 

Thank you for reply, I understand this, and I still dont know whats wrong with my offer. But I'll see, I have a date this sunday so we'll see how it goes.