erinelizabeth Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 My boyfriend and I have had a rough relationship but have always worked through it. We've been together for 5 years and I'm carrying his child. Its been the only long serious relationship that both of us have been in. About 4-5 months ago, he wanted to break off our relationship. He started adding these girls on facebook who are known for causing trouble. He would delete the messages that facebook sends to tell you "you're connected" and when I asked about it he said he didn't know why he did it. He didn't do anything like that for two years, he was very loyal to me besides this. I recently asked about it, because it still bothers me, and he was uncontrollably angry. He was saying things like somedays he wished he was dead because of what he did to me and how no matter what he could do, it would never be good enough. He said sorry is for accidents and he knows it wasn't an accident but he doesn't know what else besides hes sorry. When I asked why he did it he finally told me he wanted something different. He didn't want to be with me that month, and he doesn't know why he stayed with me after doing all that because I cant let it go. He was so upset he started crying and I rarely see him do that... what am I supposed to do? I feel like I should never bring it up again. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 How old are you two and was the baby planned? Link to comment
rosephase Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 It would be my assumption that he is freaking out about being a father. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 My honest guess is that he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore but he knows leaving now would make him look like a huge jerkwad. EDIT: I just read your previous thread about him. You two are only 19, he wanted you to have an abortion and pay for it yourself, and blamed you for ruining his life. You two either need to get to counselling now, or start making plans to raise the baby apart. A child doesn't deserve to be brought into what is essentially a toxic and failing relationship, so it is imperative that he is at least civil to you. It's pretty clear he didn't want this baby, and was checked out of the relationship a long time ago. I don't think you are going to be able to count on him as your life partner. He might indeed step it up when the baby arrives, but I don't think your relationship is healthy enough anymore to survive much longer, unfortunately. Do you work? Study? What's the plan for when the baby is born? I hope you have family or good friends nearby. I think you are going to need to them for emotional support. Link to comment
Clio Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 He feels trapped. If available, you need to seek professional counseling. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 If he doesn't want the baby, I think its time to break up and raise the baby yourself or put the baby up for adoption. You can be matched with an adoptive family before the birth. If he doesn't want anything to do with you, that is what i would do. If in a few months he says he doesn't know what he was thinking and he was just scared and freaked out, go from there. I would definitely suggest counseling as well. Link to comment
ShatteredMan Posted February 9, 2017 Share Posted February 9, 2017 He feels trapped. If available, you need to seek professional counseling. HE trapped himself. Agree that he needs counseling but he's going to have to mature quickly, re-evaluate his priorities and figure out how he's going to have to provide for the child. Adoption is a last resort. Link to comment
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