Disproportionate Inheritance

[becomingkate]

Just a thought.. Perhaps there is more to it that you don't know. Perhaps there are debts, or other complications your sister is having to handle.

 

I don't know, but sometimes there is more to the story.

 

I am so sorry for your loss.

 

Thank you.

Most of dad's debts, except for monthly expenses, were handled prior to his death.

There are investments that don't mature for awhile but my sister is named beneficiary.

[Wiseman2]

If you were legally adopted how so? What does your native ethnicity have to do with his will? What laws are provided for this vs. a natural born child/non aboriginal Canadian ?

 

In the US adoptive children have the same rights as natural children with regard to parental estates. Also there is no protected group who can contest a will based solely on ethnicity

If it's because I'm adopted or native there are options.

[becomingkate]

It could be nefarious however Its not uncommon in Canada to put a trusted adult child's name on a deed to an elderly parents home to avoid probate taxes and probate waiting time periods before the home can be sold.

 

The house avoided probate but the investment triggered it for the rest of the will. My sister tried to transfer as much as she could but missed the investment and was annoyed.

It was only when she mentioned my signing the waiver that I inquired about the size of his estate.

[ThatwasThen]

The house avoided probate but the investment triggered it for the rest of the will. My sister tried to transfer as much as she could but missed the investment and was annoyed.

It was only when she mentioned my signing the waiver that I inquired about the size of his estate.

 

Is she going to give you your 8% of his entire estate including the investments that she is listed as beneficiary on? What was the reasoning/how did your father arrive at a bequeath amount of only 8% with all the rest going to your sister? Its such an odd split. You would think he would have given her a bigger share for being the child that cared for him but the discrepancy is alarming and it almost appears as if he hoped you and your brother would fight it. (???) *shrugs* Just speculation of course but it is odd.

[becomingkate]

If you were legally adopted how so? What does your native ethnicity have to do with his will? What laws are provided for this vs. a natural born child/non aboriginal Canadian ?

 

British Columbia introduced a new wills variance act in 2013.

In it, the court is to treat adopted children the same as natural born children. Many wills have been essentially re-written to provide an equitable distribution of the estate.

My family is white and my ethnicity has been a source of discomfort with the older generation in the past.

[Seraphim]

I am so sorry about the loss of your dad.

 

I don't know what to say about your situation. In a few years my husband will be facing the same thing I am sure. I am so sorry you are not being treated fairly .

[becomingkate]

Is she going to give you your 8% of his entire estate including the investments that she is listed as beneficiary on? What was the reasoning/how did your father arrive at a bequeath amount of only 8% with all the rest going to your sister? Its such an odd split. You would think he would have given her a bigger share for being the child that cared for him but the discrepancy is alarming and it almost appears as if he hoped you and your brother would fight it. (???) *shrugs* Just speculation of course but it is odd.

 

8% is my own number based on the value of the house, cash and two investments that she disclosed.

If I receive what I think is fair, it only amounts to another $25, 000. She'd still retain over $700,000 in cash & property.

[becomingkate]

I am so sorry about the loss of your dad.

 

I don't know what to say about your situation. In a few years my husband will be facing the same thing I am sure. I am so sorry you are not being treated fairly .

 

Thank you Victoria.

I'm just feeling so isolated right now. The division of money shouldn't matter, but it will because it mattered to him. And it's not comforting at all to think his feelings about me were conveyed by his will.

[Seraphim]

Thank you Victoria.

I'm just feeling so isolated right now. The division of money shouldn't matter, but it will because it mattered to him. And it's not comforting at all to think his feelings about me were conveyed by his will.

 

I am so sorry . it must hurt your heart. People should not do this to their kids.

 

My sister-in-law looks after my husband's parents and she lives in the same complex . However ,my husband is Air Force so we go where we are sent . About eight years ago they said they had done their will and she was the executor . And we had no need to know what was inside it . Which leads me to believe my husband is being screwed big time . The same as you his sister is the favourite child .

[journeynow]

You haven't seen the will yet, right? You don't know yet what it says in its entirety. You can show it to a lawyer, and perhaps also check for other versions of his will.

 

My point was that IF you were angry at your sister when she didn't honor his wishes for returning to his home, why wouldn't you honor whatever HIS wishes are as stated in the will? You are talking about HIS wishes in both cases. You are not being consistent about his wishes. You are making this about your sister, not your father.

 

As for the house, you said you didn't want it. Did you say you wanted to be compensated for what would be your share? It doesn't sound like it.

 

Gifts are not about being "fair". Your father was free to give away AS HE WISHED.

[journeynow]

Thank you Victoria.

I'm just feeling so isolated right now. The division of money shouldn't matter, but it will because it mattered to him. And it's not comforting at all to think his feelings about me were conveyed by his will.

Don't think of it that way. It's just stuff. It is not feelings.

[journeynow]

I am very sorry about loosing your father. No matter what, it can be a time of turmoil or confusion. My condolences.

[ThatwasThen]

Don't think of it that way. It's just stuff. It is not feelings.

I disagree. Having been the executrix of a few wills now, I know that it affects one's emotional response to be left out. Not one person I know ever considered it as being "just stuff" no matter how they tried to frame it. Not only that, for her sister's daughter to throw out/sell or destroy items in the home without even asking the Op (or her brother) if they would like something of their fathers was kind of crappy in its own right.

[becomingkate]

I am so sorry . it must hurt your heart. People should not do this to their kids.

 

My sister-in-law looks after my husband's parents and she lives in the same complex . However ,my husband is Air Force so we go where we are sent . About eight years ago they said they had done their will and she was the executor . And we had no need to know what was inside it . Which leads me to believe my husband is being screwed big time . The same as you his sister is the favourite child .

 

Oh dear. I hope your hubby makes his peace now. I wish I had talked it over with my dad.

[journeynow]

I disagree. Having been the executor of a few wills now, I know that it affects one's emotional response to be left out. Not one person I know ever considered as being "just stuff" no matter how they tried to frame it.

 

I guess I'm different then. We are all different. I find quibbling over stuff and who-loved-who-more a waste of time and energy. And I repeat, it was the father's property and his right to give away as HE wished. It is his right, and it is not worth imaging what is meant by it. It doesn't make anyone a better person to do so.

[ThatwasThen]

I guess I'm different then. We are all different. I find quibbling over stuff and who-loved-who-more a waste of time and energy. And I repeat, it was the father's property and his right to give away as HE wished. It is his right, and it is not worth imaging what is meant by it. It doesn't make anyone a better person to do so.

 

Well, yes, we are all different. I wasn't trying to argue, just giving a different opinion is all.

 

NHM

[journeynow]

I am so sorry . it must hurt your heart. People should not do this to their kids.

 

My sister-in-law looks after my husband's parents and she lives in the same complex . However ,my husband is Air Force so we go where we are sent . About eight years ago they said they had done their will and she was the executor . And we had no need to know what was inside it . Which leads me to believe my husband is being screwed big time . The same as you his sister is the favourite child .

 

But he's not screwed because it's not his.

[ThatwasThen]

But he's not screwed because it's not his.

 

Its not his sisters either, though. Why a disparity in who gets what is what the jist of feeling left out is all about. Its not the "stuff" its the slight from someone who you love is what makes the hurt.

[annie24]

In some places, it is not legal to get a person who is very old or mentally impaired to suddenly change their will in their dying days. I think that the lawyer needs to take a look at the paperwork to say if it was right. personally, I had a nasty falling out with family members over an inheritance. (They had my relative cut down my % in the final days of her life.) I just don't trust my relatives at all after that and we do not have a relationship anymore. One tried to reach out to me but I do not trust them at all. I would trust a stranger off the street more than them now.

[Seraphim]

But he's not screwed because it's not his.

 

We know that . Presumably they love him just as much as their daughter right ? I can tell you they don't . And she will get the lion's share .

[becomingkate]

 

My point was that IF you were angry at your sister when she didn't honor his wishes for returning to his home, why wouldn't you honor whatever HIS wishes are as stated in the will? You are talking about HIS wishes in both cases. You are not being consistent about his wishes. You are making this about your sister, not your father.

 

As for the house, you said you didn't want it. Did you say you wanted to be compensated for what would be your share? It doesn't sound like it.

 

Gifts are not about being "fair". Your father was free to give away AS HE WISHED.

 

Morally, dad was not "free" to do whatever he wished with the proceeds of the sale of the land. This house was built with mum's money, which came to almost $750,000

He promised my mother a fair distribution if she signed over her half.

This has been mentioned by both parents over the years. We grew up with nothing, and dad sometimes felt guilty and reassured us that he'd keep his word to mum.

Legally, it was all his. My sister is his natural child. She was able to look after him. She deserves a bigger share.

His death bed wishes I knew. I will never know his true intention to follow through on his promise because my sister is keeping pretty quiet.

[Seraphim]

I would wait to see the will and decide what your sister means to you.

[becomingkate]

But he's not screwed because it's not his.

 

It really depends on where the testator lived.

In British Columbia, children absolutely have rights and entitlement to their parents estate, and courts use words like "fair distribution" all the time.

I appreciate your opinion, and I get it.

I will not accuse my sister - this is between my dad & I.

[Seraphim]

We live in Ontario.

[becomingkate]

I would wait to see the will and decide what your sister means to you.

 

I love her, but I know that once mum is gone, so is she.

 

I have a lot of obligations with my mum, my kids and my house. I'm just asking for what was promised all along. Well, actually a lot less. 33% vs. 8%, not including the $600 k house.