Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Once more, with feeling. I sometimes discuss matters relating to sex (generally) with friends, and yes, sometimes health matters. Nothing is taboo. But my privacy and my private life, yes, I have good boundaries where that is concerned. But then we generally have more interesting things to talk about than what I get up to with my husband or how my monthlies are shaping up. LOL. Link to comment
happpybear Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Lol sure, and that works for you Hermes. Some people have different sort of relationships with their friends, so the feel comfy talking about private matters. Different strokes for different folks. And likely, they have other interesting things to discuss as well. Before the advent of anonymous Internet forums, people turned to their social network to discuss life issues, how much or in what detail is entirly up to the people involved. Some choose a higher amount of discretion, and that's ok too. Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 No, I don't touch his things, and I don't pry into his stuff. I simply happen to notice when I come over, everytime he opens a new tab in chrome to search movies or restaurants, we can see all the sites he has visited. Usually, from two months prior, the page was empty, meaning the cache has been cleared. He never feels the need to go into incognito. Whatever, no big deal. I'm big on privacy. But thanks for answering my questions Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 That's jumping the gun. Probably should've made this more clear. I don't discuss what we do behind close doors. This should've been obvious due to the lack of content in my question. I simply told them that it's not something I minded. Basically the same amount of information about our lives was given on this forum as well as off of it. It's pretty awful that you came to this conclusion and you never even answered my questions. I am clearly "consulting for viewpoints". There is anonymity, all you know is that he watches porn and I allow it. Which is pretty much the standard population, I assume. But I don't know, because you haven't answered my questions. Link to comment
Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 "Also, why would girls be so against it?" Not all girls, XOR. In 3D it is always best, IMO, to form your own opinion and judgement on such issues. After all, now try to imagine your BF comes down the street, your GFs are there, nudging and giggling: "Look, that's the geezer who's always wanking himself into a trance on the porn sites". "They were seriously appalled. Kinda weird" Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Perhaps these girls don't understand that a guy doesn't need their permission. ...same guy?... ] Same guy. Just need to know the basis behind why people act the way they do. Link to comment
happpybear Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Ah, ok, glad you weren't snooping into his computer. That seems to be how porn watching is discovered, through snooping. I'm glad that you guys had the convo about it and that you don't see it as wrong or a threat to your relationship. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I have no problem with my SO looking at porn. I do it on occasion as well. As long as it doesn't interfere with intimacy and our sex life, it's not a problem. I'm on this team. As long as doesn't become an issue. I can compare it alcohol. Do you need to drink or like to drink? There is a difference. Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Well why are you cool with it? Same thing. You just are. Same as your g/friends, they arn't. Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 I also find it odd that you seem to look at browser history regularly. Some people, have this attitude that watching porn is like "cheating". Especially if there is any self-love involved. Personally I think OP has the right attitude. My BF told me that his ex had that attitude. Also, she didn't like the thought of him masturbating (with porn or not) as she felt that he shouldn't need to do that with her around. Not a healthy attitude IMO. I have also had ex boyfriends who expected me to be ok with their porn watching (I was), but they were not ok with me masturbating. They were controlling in other ways too, and incidently they were fairly selfish lovers. They never took an interest in getting me off, and then denied me the ability to get myself off (but they got off whenevrr they wanted with me or with porn, and that was ok in their minds). So I think a lot of it comes down to control issues. I don't "check in" on his browsing history, displaying history is a function of tabs on chrome. If it helps to know, I'm a coder so not only do I know my way around a computer but more importantly I'm a huge advocate on privacy, and I have way too much respect for him to make him feel threatened around his computer. Violating his security in any way whatsoever or even giving an indication of it: Manually checking his browsing habits (something that would be accomplished with a freaking MItB) or even playing "harmless pranks" on his stuff is a moral issue of mine. I don't tamper, I don't pry, it's a personal rule of mine. Any time we are on his computer, everything we do together is overt. His life isn't a penetration test. He shows me only what he feels comfortable showing me. Thanks for answering my question, your answer was really thought out. Link to comment
happpybear Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 That's good to hear! And thank you for clarifying. I think you have a really healthy attitude about it all Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Well why are you cool with it? Same thing. You just are. Same as your g/friends, they arn't. Thanks for the reply. I was hoping though that there were reasons behind their thinking, and I cant seem to figure it out. I'm under the impression that a lot of girls my age think the way my friends do. They made it seem normal, but were unable to explain why. They would say that it is wrong simply because it is, or that it would be detrimental to their relationships. But what would cause the detriment? What exactly would the risk be, if any? Link to comment
Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 XOR. Probably no reasons behind their (the GFs) thinking, or none that they would be able to express coherently. They sound awfully immature, IMO. Or, as you said yourself "kinda weird". Maybe they are very insecure in themselves. One way or the other, do you really care what they think? Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Hello, OP. Scale of 1 - 10. How excited are you and your friends about Pumpkin Spice lattes coming back? Sorry for responding late to your question. Accidentally spilled my PSL all over my keyboard. Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 XOR. Probably no reasons behind their (the GFs) thinking, or none that they would be able to express coherently. They sound awfully immature, IMO. Or, as you said yourself "kinda weird". Maybe they are very insecure in themselves. One way or the other, do you really care what they think? Yep, you're getting warmer. And I'm weird too because I don't care what people think, but why they think. I think my bf may be the only exception to that rule Link to comment
xor90 Posted October 20, 2016 Author Share Posted October 20, 2016 Hermes. Oh nice, really good eye, you caught a typo in there! English isn't my first language, so I work hard to discriminate between my modal verbs so people can understand me haha. I have to be careful when I get lazy. Actually, the word "allowed" is supposed to be "would allow". Generally when these personal egg-shell topics come up, I tend to speak in the theoretical. They weren't upset at my bf's behavior, but rather my lack of reaction to such a situation should it ever occur. In fact, my bf didn't come up in conversation at all besides in the hypothetical (i.e "You really think that way ? So it wouldn't bother you if he did this?" "Nope, not really") I should've made more clear that the topic of porn was actually the subject of conversation, not him. I just included some more information about him so it would feel more relevant to relationship questions on the thread. Thanks for your insight ! Link to comment
Rising100 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I dont know how most people here feel about porn, so I will have to read the answers to find out. However I am not a fan of porn even tho I am a male. I dont watch porn, why would I do that when I have a real woman with me. And even when Im single, I still dont watch porn. I dont find it natural, if I do masturbate it will be to erotic novels or erotic stories or just alone. But I feel porn is a bad habit, is fake and doesnt even portray love making. Just the way I see things. Link to comment
Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Porn has been around a long while. "Shunga" Japanese erotic art. It was a custom to give the bride and groom a shunga picture or a few..... Shunga prints were enjoyed by men and women of all classes. Superstitions and customs surrounding shunga suggest this to us as it was considered a lucky charm against death for a Samurai to carry shunga (hence the postcard size of some of the prints) and it was considered a protection against fire in merchant warehouses and the home. From this we can deduce that samurai, Chonin (social class containing merchants and the like) and even housewives all owned shunga. It was traditional to present a bride with shunga. Definitely explicit Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 I don't mind me a bit of porn ..it is a quick fix, saves having to think of yet another story line If I am seeing someone I don't care if he is watching porn , far be it for me to tell someone what to do with their d1ck . If they don't want sex with me as a result , then that is when I see a problem . I am glad to read somewhere you saying how you ended up seeing his browser history . Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 oh am I in the right thread ..I am a bit stoned right now ..sorry if this is something completely different Link to comment
Rising100 Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Porn has been around a long while. "Shunga" Japanese erotic art. It was a custom to give the bride and groom a shunga picture or a few..... Shunga prints were enjoyed by men and women of all classes. Superstitions and customs surrounding shunga suggest this to us as it was considered a lucky charm against death for a Samurai to carry shunga (hence the postcard size of some of the prints) and it was considered a protection against fire in merchant warehouses and the home. From this we can deduce that samurai, Chonin (social class containing merchants and the like) and even housewives all owned shunga. It was traditional to present a bride with shunga. Definitely explicit Erotic art is not porn. Porn is not art. I love those paintings, nice. Link to comment
Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Fully agree. Rising. Eroticism and porn are totally different. I love those paintings too. and they are erotic. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 just staying on the topic of pics/porn , I love erotic photography ( as in taking it ) I love provocation , I love tease, I love wonderment , I love to leave the viewer so to speak , with their own ending . The second the legs are spread eagled over the shoulders or a man is throbbing like a traffic light, it becomes pornographic to me . Link to comment
Hermes Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Yeh. Once the pose becomes gynaecological, well, same ole same ole. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted October 20, 2016 Share Posted October 20, 2016 Yeh. Once the pose becomes gynaecological, well, same ole same ole. hahahaha yes ..exactly ..there is no guess work left Link to comment
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