help! gf texting her ex

[MissCanuck]

Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over? Are you hoping someone here will tell you it's all above board and you have nothing to worry about?

 

The only difference this time is that they're getting closer.

 

But the bottom line has remained the same. She's still into him.

 

What else do you want to hear from us?

[wonderboy1986]

I dunno what you want from people. This is nothing new. You knew she was doing it.

 

Its up to you on what you think is ok and what you are not comfortable with...

 

 

 

Like ive said multiple times, a part of your gf is still with her ex. she isn't fully invested into you.

 

 

She seeks out attention from her ex often..

 

 

Nothing bad has been said yetttttt because he actually is being respectful, for now.

 

 

If I was in your shoes, I would break up with her because this is not a friendly 50/50 friendship

she seeks him out. "to check up" but why check up on someone who doesn't return the friendship

the same way? Lets be honest here.

 

I guess what I'd be comfortable with is a platonic friendship between them with no romantic feelings from either side, especially her.

 

I agree about the 50/50 friendship thing, but maybe that's what she's trying to encourage by reassuring him that he'd be welcome to initiate contact as well?

 

I realise she still has feelings towards him, but maybe they're 100% platonic? Surely, if she wanted him back she'd be looking to advance their contact in some way?

[wonderboy1986]

Why do you keep asking the same questions over and over? Are you hoping someone here will tell you it's all above board and you have nothing to worry about?

 

The only difference this time is that they're getting closer.

 

But the bottom line has remained the same. She's still into him.

 

What else do you want to hear from us?

 

Into him as a friend? And what do you mean by "getting closer"?

[MissCanuck]

Into him as a friend? And what do you mean by "getting closer"?

 

No, not as a friend. Surely you know that by now.

 

And "getting closer" means exactly what it sounds like. She is trying to rekindle something with him, and he's now reciprocating in a way he wasn't before.

[wonderboy1986]

No, not as a friend. Surely you know that by now.

 

And "getting closer" means exactly what it sounds like. She is trying to rekindle something with him, and he's now reciprocating in a way he wasn't before.

 

It's difficult to imagine her wanting more than friendship with him because of where we are as a couple (living together, a month or two away from our first anniversary etc) and the fact that she hasn't spoken to him apart from text in nearly a year, hasn't seen him or much about him (his social media is private).

 

Where's the connection between them??? She and I are together 24/7, pretty much. And she hasn't advanced to a meeting or phone call with him.

[boltnrun]

"What do you all think of her texting him?"

 

"She's into him and trying to rekindle".

 

"No she's not! Maybe she just wants to be FRIENDS with him!!!"

 

So you ask, we respond, then you tell us we're wrong. And this has been going on for 16 pages.

 

If you're so confident in the strength of your relationship, and you're so sure she isn't interested in him in anything but a friendly way, why keep asking?

[wonderboy1986]

"What do you all think of her texting him?"

 

"She's into him and trying to rekindle".

 

"No she's not! Maybe she just wants to be FRIENDS with him!!!"

 

So you ask, we respond, then you tell us we're wrong. And this has been going on for 16 pages.

 

If you're so confident in the strength of your relationship, and you're so sure she isn't interested in him in anything but a friendly way, why keep asking?

 

Y'know, at this stage, I'm NOT confident at all.

 

I guess the reason I'm asking is because I can't figure out how she could be interested in rekindling things with him, yet ...

 

A) Not ended things with me, to give him and her a chance.

 

B) If she's waiting for a more secure footing with him before if/when she decides to break it off with me and go back to him, why is she still dancing around with these "friendly" texts? If he means more to her than I do, then I'm guessing she would have advanced the contact to a call or a meetup or something after nearly SIX months?

 

I guess that's what I'm trying to understand before I decide on my next move. As a couple, we seem fine, she's insisting that she just wants to be friends with him, and even though her actions are reasonably suspect, I can't shake the worry that with no real evidence here, my fears might be unfounded.

[MissCanuck]

Y'know, at this stage, I'm NOT confident at all.

 

I guess the reason I'm asking is because I can't figure out how she could be interested in rekindling things with him, yet ...

 

A) Not ended things with me, to give him and her a chance.

 

B) If she's waiting for a more secure footing with him before if/when she decides to break it off with me and go back to him, why is she still dancing around with these "friendly" texts? If he means more to her than I do, then I'm guessing she would have advanced the contact to a call or a meetup or something after nearly SIX months?

 

I guess that's what I'm trying to understand before I decide on my next move. As a couple, we seem fine, she's insisting that she just wants to be friends with him, and even though her actions are reasonably suspect, I can't shake the worry that with no real evidence here, my fears might be unfounded.

 

OP, we cannot tell you where your boundary should be. We cannot give you answers that we don't feel are accurate.

 

We have answered all of your questions already, several times. You are being repetitive, and so are we. You are turning around in circle desperately looking for signs that she just likes him as a friend. I really have no idea what else to say that hasn't already been said and explained to you, multiple times.

 

Good luck moving forward.

[Capricorn3]

Thread has run its course.