My husband leaves for days at a time...

[amazon8207]

For one let me say, I know 100% that he's not cheating. What he does is, he will leave for days at a time just to hang out with his friends and drink and just do whatever. We have a 7 year old daughter together. Right now our life is very stressful.. He got laid off, we don't have a house of our own (we live at my mothers), our car note is past due, and we have no money. I want to say that he's doing this because he's overwhelmed and stressed, but I don't know. He did it about a week or 2 ago, he left one day and ignored my phone calls ALL NIGHT. He was hanging out with his friends and drinking. This past time it happened (currently), I haven't even tried to contact him once. Before he left, he was TRYING to pick a fight with me.. It was SO weird. I'm just tired of it. He used to do it about a year ago, he'd leave and ignore my calls. So I left him. We got back together and this past year has been great, but now it's starting up again. I want to leave him... I don't know if I'm over exaggerating. It just makes me so unhappy.... My mom's car is in the shop, so our vehicle was the only vehicle we have here. My sister and her baby just flew in to move back to our state, and as soon as we got back he left... And I'm just embarrassed by it. I don't deserve it. Btw we're young. I'm 22 and he's 23. Advice?

[alldaisies]

Men react different than woman when they are under stress. I do not want to justify what he is doing, you will have to talk about it, in a peaceful and calm way. Money is is one of these issues that can destroy marriages if there are not enough love and understanding. You have to think together in a solution, keep the calm and think positive, that it is just bad time and things will get better. Do not try to talk with him, when he is not ready to listen. He is avoiding the issue that you currently have, and maybe he is picking a fight with you, because he think that you can understand him and will no judge him. You are the only one that know him enough, that could know how much he loves you. You are the one that could know if this attitude is temporal and for the economical situation you both have.

 

If I am you, and you love him and you are convince that he love you, I will call him and have a conversation with him in neutral site. Try to have a plan in mind, or an idea of the things you could do know. For example, if there are any help available for people in your situation until you get a new job. You have a daughter, then most probably the government have a plan for people like you.

 

I wish I could help you more. Take care.

[Lester]

The definition of cheating is broad.

 

 

He promised to be a good husband. Leaving for days breaks that promise.

Therefore, he is cheating you out of what he promised.

 

Left unchecked, he will most likely follow his dog pack to your current understanding of cheating.

[1a1a]

Whatever the reason, the silent treatment is the cruelest of all possible ways to communicate his displeasure. Do you want to continue to have a relationship with someone who's communication skills are So Poor? Does he want to work on improving them?

 

Alldaisies post is the most compassionate and optimistic view point. Maybe you can try those things. Just don't put your own mental well being on the back burner indefinitely (been there, done that, never again). Decide now, how long you can hold out with the current situation, and in that time, do what you can to improve it. (Your husband needs to want to improve it too or you'll be wasting your time). At the end of that time if nothing has changed, cut yourself free.

[musicman777]

Hello amazon, it clearly sounds to me like things happened too early in your life. You two ended up having a child together at a VERY young age. I'm also going to make an assumption that this child was the catalyst for you two getting married. Picture for a second; if you never had your daughter, would you still see yourself with a man that behaves like this?

 

This man you married and got stuck with, he sounds to me like he is lazy, irresponsible, and doesn't want to deal with the consequences of his life choices. It takes two to make a child. Regardless of whether it was planned or not, when the time comes, you either step up and be a dad or you get lost.

 

You're not "over exaggerating" at all. Now look; I'm 26. People in their 20's, they like to get out, socialize, have fun, and live their life. But, priorities priorities priorities! This husband of yours, whether he likes it or not, he has a daughter. He should be fortunate in some way he has a loving and very tolerable wife, but he's not. My advice; kick this clown to the curb for good. He want's to see/visit his daughter, fine. But you get custody. Take care of her and yourself, focus on building a new life and career without being dependent on some guy that is going to let you down time and time again. You don't need this nonsense and neither does your daughter. He's also not setting a good example to her by disappearing so often.

[Doc Blaze]

Seriously, I am a fan of tough love and I don't care if he is overwhelmed....He needs to man up and deal with the issues and help support his family,

 

 

should be spending the day having his friends drop him off to find another job or something.

 

 

 

also why does he need to ignore you, he is married and has a kid.

 

 

I am overwhelmed all the time with work butttt that's life, cant run from your problems forever, it just makes it more complicated.

[j.man]

So you two had the kid when he was 16 and you were 15? Not excusing the guy, but he never even had the opportunity to learn how to be a man. I hope he can shape up, but this is definitely a joint-effort.

 

The child is 7, so school-age. Are you working? Has he been the breadwinner this whole time or have you helped out with income since your daughter started school? It's a lot of weight on a young guy's shoulders.

[Doc Blaze]

oh snap, I didn't do the math on the childs age when I first read this.

[Wiseman2]

No most husbands don't go missing for days at a time, unless their wives believe their drinking with buddies stories. It sounds like he picks fight so he can leave.

I'm 22 and he's 23.We have a 7 year old. I know 100% that he's not cheating. Before he left, he was TRYING to pick a fight with me.