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alldaisies

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  1. alldaisies
    [video=youtube;E2pAslx5az8] ]
  2. alldaisies
    [video=youtube;3kpu4mYrbQg] ]
  3. alldaisies
    [video=youtube;Y5nd6QteDR8] ]
  4. alldaisies
    Great idea, love your poem.
  5. alldaisies
    Time dear friends, time do not heal anything, but at least help to let's go the pain. I never thought I could stop thinking on him, he was present every day, every time, at every hour or second of my life. He was for me like acquired disease. But I did it. For good or for bad, he just was like a shooting star bringing the best and worse of me. He did not cure me from all my problems, he created more problems for me. As a woman he let me insensible, empty. I heard once that a woman can be let frigid after a rape or violation, that is what he did to me. Now I am like cube ice, a piece of nothing, hidden myself from the world around and running from all no to be hurt again. Never ever come to the life of a woman telling her or convincing her that you love her if you will no love her forever. Never invade the private space of a woman that can blush, you can make her sick, terrible sick. I believe after so much time, he is gone of my life. I do not know how I will recovery, maybe I never get well again.
  6. alldaisies
    [video=youtube;YR5ApYxkU-U] ]
  7. alldaisies
    Thanks so much for your time narrating that myth for me. My day, what I can say about my day or my last days...a little girl smile at my at the library and she made me happy (I was almost crying and feeling totally alone). The weather is very good for me be with him (it is grey and it is raining), but he is not with me, he is not even thinking about me. I went to the movie theater and watched a movie that I really enjoyed. I have been eating very badly because I am fat thank to the medication. I have been reading and writing a lot. I am better but I am still sad. There are a lot of emptiness. There is a love that refuse to go. I feel miserable because I am unable to forget him. I would like to hate him, be mad with him, feel any negative emotion toward him, but I do not.
  8. alldaisies
    Hi, If you want to write anonymously, you can use a pen name and start a blog, blogger.com by google is a very good option, very easy to use. Wordpress is more visual appealing and require a little more expertise, but also an excellent choice. You can create a facebook page or a group. Letter on, you can also try to self-publish, amazon is an excellent choice. Be prepared for the critics, sometimes are like a tornado.
  9. alldaisies
    Sorry to read how you are feeling now beanpot. It is better not to over analyze things sometimes. You can get things wrong. I have made many mistakes in my life for overthinking sometimes. One of them, it was to believe he truly loved me. He was dumping me, and I was still believing in his love. Now, I am far apart from him, all is over in between us and I am still thinking that there is love. Weird? right. It is always good to be in the phase of acceptance, I believe is less painful the situation at that point. Never think for others, it is my advice, believe that she hates you because a song, could give you a wrong message. Ah, could you please resume for me the story of Sisyphus in brief lines. I did not know about that mythology character, I was reading about out of curiosity, but I got lost in reading. This is my uncountable day of NC. I am having a bad day, I will leave it there..a very bad day. Best no to describe my feelings now. I have been attacked by my enemy. His new girlfriend. They both are against me, hurting my feeling even more.
  10. alldaisies
  11. alldaisies
    Thanks beanpot..I will try, trust me, I am trying everything. At least now, and for first time, I am less affected, what is a good and a bad thing. It is not that I do not care more, it is that I am feeling for first time disconnected from him. I cut my last form of communication with him (Skype). I still have his email, but I do not plan to use it. And I know he will not write me a single word either, and if he does it, it is because he is bored or he want just to use me again or he needs me for any stupid reason. I moved earth and sky for him. I cried until there was not more tears. Now, it is my time to keep going and to recover completely. I wish you are doing better with your NC challenge thing and your broken heart too. No idea if it was already your birthday or no, but if it was, I hope you had a wonderful day.
  12. alldaisies
    I do not know how many days, how many weeks, months, nights...but tonight is another night that I cannot sleep. Thanks that I have this place to come and write my crazy thoughts. When I miss him and when I do not want to think more about him. I have to much to do, to read, to learn, I need too much friends, family a work, I need to keep myself busy, because every time I think in him I irremediably move backward. He was my everything and my perdition. But well, life is not about others, or how much we love others, or how much others hurt us...for many life is just about ourselves and how much we do for ourselves. Then I am trying to find the balance, I continue fighting to forget the LOVE. After all, at least for me, LOVE is bigger than anything, and no matter what others try to say me or convince me. I am glad that I am able to LOVE others the way I do, and my love for him was not an exception. Wherever you are, who ever you are...I LOVE you and I will forever LOVE you, or I will love you until you show me your dark side, or you give me a reason for stop loving you. I continue counting the NC days, I am happy that I have not contacted him again. I will keep strong and one day I will finally say, that him is just part of the past. But until that day, I will have to keep counting the NC days.
  13. alldaisies
    It is just an intent A puzzle of words and deep feelings A crazy combination of psychotropic drugs A brain turned inside out A person lack of knowledge A person wanting to learn "caught up" a new combination of words for me Thanks for helping me in the only way I want to be help To become Stronger Healthy A little smart Less emotional More stable FREE!!
  14. alldaisies
    Pain, betrayal, lies Cry, cry, cry Pain without stop Rapid pain Cry, cry, cry Where are you? Where is him? What did you do? Why?! Cry, cry, cry My head is spinning Laughs, laughs, laughs Vengeful laughs Laughs of power Laughs of humiliation Cry, cry, cry I go there, all them are there I come here, all them are here Oh, where to go? Cry, cry, cry In the middle of the anger and sorrow Cry, cry, cry JUSTICEEEEEEEEE!!!
  15. alldaisies
    This is the end of my NC journal.
  16. alldaisies
    I am not Ok, no, I am not feeling right today, I have my days. When the yelling around me suffocate my soul, I run again to the inert space, I make silence, I look to the screen, I call him with my mind, one word, I just need one word to calm this pain. He is there, in diferente time and space, distance, unreachable. He is there totally invisible, but forever present. I know that I cannot calm my thirst of a sweet voice with him. Then, I have to continue counting and surviving, as I have done before, for many many years. I have to be thankful for the brief moments of happiness, the lies, for the short love novel I recreated. He is gone.
  17. alldaisies
    7 days of absolutely NC after many intends of NC before..even thought a little part of me is still hooked on the past, I am feeling better. I am writing, reading and breathing. The torture is almost over. I am focusing just on the bright side, I have too. Why to cry or suffer for a person that do not deserve my love? He is enjoying life, well, I have to do the same and do not allow him to play with my real feelings again.
  18. alldaisies
    I understand how you are feeling, we all are dealing with this pain that refuse to go, but think in the many reasons why you should celebrate it. You still have many years ahead to find love if she does not come back to you in the way you deserve it. Ah, and the Birthday cake is one of the best thing about the day. Cheer up! Go out with your friends or family. Do the things you enjoy doing, keep yourself busy.
  19. alldaisies
    :sad: I stop counting the days of NC. I had the last goodbye.
  20. alldaisies
    I am speechless. I wish I could write a letter like that in English, but I am always short of words, I guess I will always be because I am not a good writer and I am still learning the language. But someday, I will brave to submit some of my writings here, overcome the shame and accept all the constructive criticism. It will always better for me to share here than to send my language-childish poems and letters to him. I guess when we love, we do it such as similar ways. Thanks for sharing.
  21. alldaisies
    Day 12 I am feeling like you today. Why life is so complicated?
  22. alldaisies
    Day 11 or Back to day 1 Here I am again. Suddenly out the blue he called me. He was telling me how much he care for me, more specifically, he was asking me if I believe how much he cares for me, giving me details of his life. It was really weird, a normal conversation to some extend, using many adjetives to describe me and some sugar, but I did not buy this time. I felt some cover interest in that cordiality, no idea what is behind this. I have become suspicious. Could be so many things: 1. he really love me and he is sensing that he is losing me to the point of no return 2. He needs to know some personal information about me and he is distracting me, covering the questions under all that sugar coating (I am kind of inclined to this second option, for some details I cannot reveal). The good thing about all of this, it is that I have recovered my strength, this time I am not as affected as I have been before. I am not longer waiting for him. If he talk to me fine, if no fine too. I respect people and relations. He is with somebody else, no with me. He does not respect her, and me either. I still love him, because we cannot choose who we love. But he is not for me. I am happy that I have finally found the way to deal with this, it was not about to forget him (that is impossible), it was to find the way to become indifferent to his presence because he is doing something I do not like. Betraying the relation he is in it is a big NO for me.
  23. alldaisies
    Back to Day 1 Sorry I broke the pact. I replied his message with a calm, inexpressive and unrelated sentence, ignoring his words, but giving him acknowledge that I read it, silence presided.
  24. alldaisies
    Oh my god, he is there again, trying to contact me again, disturbing my peace. Why is he there again? Why?..I have enough problems in my life already.
  25. alldaisies
    Day 10 I just read, that Love and/or hate always fetter us. In order to forget a person, we must become indifferent to him/her. Of course the greater the number of memories we have with that person, the harder is to move on. The article also say that we cannot erase a person from our mind trying no to think in him/her. I believe this NC thing is very good for all of us. It has helped me to share my thoughts and has kept me strong in my moments of weakness. I am feeling better, much better today. As rlhuk, I am starting to appreciate the fact that he has not intended to contact me again.
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