Indecisions

[cupcake22]

Lately, I've been tormented by indecision. I have been offered a position abroad in Costa Rica to teach English for 6 months, however, I have a severe flying phobia so I would have to take a bus. There are pros and cons to both, but I feel like it's something I have to do, I guess I'm just afraid of actually making the leap of faith. It's mentally exhausting to think about it all day and night. I crave something adventurous, but then I also think that maybe I'm not that type of person that can take so much risk. Any thoughts? Guidance? Hope?

[Ayla08]

I went to Africa for 6 months a few years ago. I was terrified beforehand (partly because it was a war zone, and ridden with HIV and malaria ). Turns out it was the best decision of my life.

I can't forsee your future, but sometimes you just have to take a risk, just to get to know that part of you that you'd otherwise never see.

[Hermes]

Hey Cupcake. You won't know if you don't take that leap. Yes!

 

It isn't as if you are going to work down a mine, or leading a regiment into battle. Lol.

 

As for the flying, well see if you can find some other way to get there. I am assuming you are in the US...or..?

 

Just go. You will be glad you did.

[Wiseman2]

Great opportunity!...take it, you won't regret it no matter how you get there, in fact it may help you overcome your phobias.

I have been offered a position abroad in Costa Rica to teach English for 6 months

[j.man]

Wait, you're more scared of flying than taking a bus through Honduras?

[Hermes]

Cupcake.

 

 

 

Also, fear of flying phobia is linked to anxiety disorder. So, it really isn't the fear of being in a flying machine, there is something else underlying.

[cupcake22]

Wait, you're more scared of flying than taking a bus through Honduras?

Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but my fear is that bad.

[Hermes]

So, maybe a very mild one-off anxiolitic for this one occasion?

[cupcake22]

True, it's lack of control. I'm seeing a therapist to try and help. I can usually go when family or a friend is with me, but in this case I would be alone, so I'm looking into alternate options.

[cupcake22]

Great opportunity!...take it, you won't regret it no matter how you get there, in fact it may help you overcome your phobias.

 

Wait, you're more scared of flying than taking a bus through Honduras?

 

It's hard for most people to understand, but I think of it like winning the lottery: You know you probably won't win the jackpot, but you still buy a ticket because it's POSSIBLE to win. That is how I feel about flying...I know I probably will be fine, but it's POSSIBLE something horrific will happen.

[Hermes]

Well, Cupcake, short of having a wealthy friend with a sea-going yacht, it will be a little complicated getting down to Costa Rica.

[j.man]

Yes, I know it sounds ridiculous, but my fear is that bad.

I don't know how your anxiety's going to be when your bus is driving along a neverending stretch of unpaved roads with no civilization in sight and five armed drug transports driving past you for every one police vehicle you might see. Unless you've bused through Mexico and Honduras before, I wouldn't assume it would go any better than a plane even given how much you know you fear flying.

[ThatwasThen]

Wait, you're more scared of flying than taking a bus through Honduras?

 

... lolzzz ...

 

Ask your doctor for an anti-anxiety medication and take it one half hour before you leave for the airport. You'll be just fine as you drift off to sleep and you'll wake up when they wake you to put your seat upright for landing.

 

Much safer all around.

 

Go for it. It's only for six months and will look awesome on your resume.

[thejigsup]

Riding on a bus through Central America is VERY dangerous!!!!! Don't do it. Get over your flying phobia. You stand about a 60% chance of something bad happening to you if you take that bus. It goes down to about 0.001% if you fly. Think about it. I have very few fears, but I've been to Central America for work once. The people are great, BUT DON'T BUS IT THERE!

[Wiseman2]

Ask a friend/family member to come with you, spend a few days vacationing and then they can fly back. But take the opportunity.

I can usually go when family or a friend is with me, but in this case I would be alone, so I'm looking into alternate options.

[melancholy123]

Wow you will kick yourself if you dont take this job and get over your fear of flying! Get the help you need to overcome this.

[cupcake22]

Great opportunity!...take it, you won't regret it no matter how you get there, in fact it may help you overcome your phobias.

 

Wow you will kick yourself if you dont take this job and get over your fear of flying! Get the help you need to overcome this.

 

Yes, I've turned down two prior opportunities this year and felt terribly afterwards. For some reason, taking a flight seems so much more permanent and that also scares me. I really don't know if I can do it.

[cupcake22]

Great opportunity!...take it, you won't regret it no matter how you get there, in fact it may help you overcome your phobias.

 

Ask a friend/family member to come with you, spend a few days vacationing and then they can fly back. But take the opportunity.

 

But then I have to buy two tickets and how would I get back? It's just an emotional headache.

[Hermes]

You don't need a nursemaid to accompany you on this trip Cupcake. You can do it. So, just do it.

 

What do you mean by this?

 

"For some reason, taking a flight seems so much more permanent and that also scares me."

 

That going by air means you will stay in Costa Rica forever......

 

Just get a mild tranquilliser for this air trip, get on the plane and get going...

 

What do you mean "how would I get back"

 

Same way as you got there (keep a second tranquilliser stashed away for that occasion).

[Wiseman2]

You buy a one way, your friend/family buys a round trip. You go there for the 6 mos. They go for a few days on holiday...then fly back. Ask your friends family most people would love to have an excuse to vacation a few days there. Don't let anxiety become a prison of your own making. You will have anxiety one way or the other...whether it's what type of tea to have or what to feed the cat...or better...Wow! goin' to Costa Rica...kinda nervous!

But then I have to buy two tickets and how would I get back?

[Hermes]

OP.

 

Feel the fear and do it anyway!

[Wiseman2]

True. Anxiety can be kind of like noise cancellation. For example, if you just got pulled over by the cops, you immediately stop worrying about if you paid the electric bill on time. So it tends to be relative thus it's often worse before than during.

OP.Feel the fear and do it anyway!

[sophie274]

You do NOT have a 60% chance of something bad happening if you go on a bus. It is very unlikely that anything will happen to you regardless of which way you travel, though in this case flying would be safer, much much faster, and potentially even cheaper, depending on how much the plane ticket costs and how many days it would take you to bus down.

 

Aside from flying, what else are you afraid of? Would you be giving up a good job at home? Are you worried you'll have trouble finding a good job when you get back? Are you a teacher - or are you worried about teaching for the first time? Are you worried about living in Costa Rica and all that that entails? Making friends there? When I read your original post, I thought you had some reservations about the position itself and taking it, not only about how to get there.

[cupcake22]

You do NOT have a 60% chance of something bad happening if you go on a bus. It is very unlikely that anything will happen to you regardless of which way you travel, though in this case flying would be safer, much much faster, and potentially even cheaper, depending on how much the plane ticket costs and how many days it would take you to bus down.

 

Aside from flying, what else are you afraid of? Would you be giving up a good job at home? Are you worried you'll have trouble finding a good job when you get back? Are you a teacher - or are you worried about teaching for the first time? Are you worried about living in Costa Rica and all that that entails? Making friends there? When I read your original post, I thought you had some reservations about the position itself and taking it, not only about how to get there.

 

Yes, I'm worried about adjusting and making friends, being away for 6 months seems like a long time. Also, it's hard for me to know if I will enjoy it as much as I think I will. I feel a lot of pressure.

[Hermes]

Cupcake.

 

Could I invite and urge you to please stop over-thinking. L.

 

Six months passes in a flash, believe me. You may even like it so much you may want to stay on!. Yes!

 

You can't tell the future so do try to stop catastrophising. Worry gets us nowhere.

 

I think that this opportunity, for you, will be extremely valuable.