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Disability . Who do i chose?

Ellycupcake

By Ellycupcake
in Relationship Advice

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Ellycupcake Rookie

Ellycupcake

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Hi . My name is elly and i have an disability on my legs called rickets .

I will tell u my story and imsorry if its too long to read.

 

So i met this guy on playstation 5years ago and he lives in america (i was living in spain) . We talked alot and i fell in love with him and he was in love with me . We planned to meet and be together but that never happened because of me. we skyped lots of times .

Me having this disability and being kinda out of shape makes me so unconfident and i hate myself so i never met him .

 

Now 3 years ago i met another guy on playstation from uk . And i loved him too . one year and an half ago we planned on meeting and we did it!!!

So i went to england to meet him , we stayed in a hotel for a week and then i went to his house to live with him. But he lives with his mom and dad.

At first i felt kinda out of place but then i started feeling confortable.. but then we started agueing alot and when he gets angry he calls me loads of stuff. Calls me a fat . Says no one is gonna love me. Says im a fat dwarf....

Plus this guy never leaves his house . He dont work or anything . Hes only one year older than me but he only wants to play on his console.

Hes ashamed of going out with me because of this disability i have so we never go out.

In his house i cant really do anything other than wakeup eat sleep and watch tv . He smokes 24/7 in his room and thats where we are most of the times and it stinks .

So i asked him to stop and to dont call me stuff and to try and get a job or somthing but he dont want it and he wont change.

 

So going back to this first guy i met ..

We been talking again . And i been texting him even tho im with (guy nr 2).

He wants me to go to america . He will pay my flight and i just need to pack and go . He knows about my disability and have seen my body and legs . But i feel scared incase he dont like me .

Because he is a very nice looking man and fit . He have a house. Hes 10 years older than me .

 

My parents live in spain and right now i am in spain . I came two days ago as i argued with my bf (guy nr2) and i came to my parents house. Thinking about guy nr1 makes me just wanna leave my bf because he dont want to do anything with me and dont want to work or anything. His mom pays for food .

 

I need to make my mind up if i want to go back to my bf . Or if i want to go america and meet this other guy .

I really want to go meet him but im so scared in case he wont like me . But he says he will .

Im very short and fat because of this disability . My height is 1,40m. I walk funny too.

 

Pls someone help me . What should i do?

Im sorry if its confusing but i have so much in my mind that i cant express.

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reinventmyself Grand Master

reinventmyself

Posted
Posted

option 3. . none of the above.

You are looking at guy #1 as way out of guy #2.

But this is not way to live looking for someone to rescue you from yourself.

Being on your own is always a good option. Especially when you find yourself settling for someone `to like you' even if you don't care for them.

 

It's perfectly natural to want a partner. Is it possible to find one in your own town so you have the benefit of getting to know these guys in real life and therefore

you can trust them and their intentions, rather than moving to another country only to find yourself in a bad situation and in need of rescuing?

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Cheetarah Mentor

Cheetarah

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I think you should leave your boyfriend without a shadow of a doubt. He is a nasty person to make fun of your disability and use it as a weapon. Good riddance to him.

 

But stay in Spain with your parents. If this guy wants to meet you, let him come to you. You do not want to up and move again for someone you do not know. Not only that, but you're in a vulnerable position with this emotional abuse you get from this so-called boyfriend of yours.

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Robin2904 Community Regular

Robin2904

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Well first things first, your current boyfriend sounds like he's treating you awfully. He's verbally abusive to you, please recognize that isn't right or okay and based on that and that alone you shouldn't be with him. Add the other issues, him not working, living with his parents in a pretty terrible situation, all around it sounds bad and I don't think you should return there.

 

When it comes to the other guy, I don't think you should rush into anything with him. I don't think you should have rushed into it with your current boyfriend either, but I understand living in another country makes it difficult. If you are set on meeting the other guy I would suggest to go for a visit so you can figure out if you like each other, but do not go with the intention to move in. After being in such an abusive situation you shouldn't jump into anything with anyone else.

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j.man Grand Master

j.man

Posted
Posted

If you have to think about whether or not to leave someone who verbally abuses you, then you're in no condition to be in a relationship. I likewise vote option #3.

 

I'm not too familiar with the SNS, but if it's possible to see a therapist to address your self-esteem issues, that would be the much better path to take.

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Robin2904 Community Regular

Robin2904

Posted
Posted
He ays he loves me.

And he probably do .

But i cant understand him somtimes ... he dont wanna have a life? He says time will come.

 

Im 24 almost 25

 

You don't show your love by saying those things to someone. Him acting ashamed of you is just awful. I think he is probably just using you because he is loney and quite frankly sounds like a loser who can't find anyone else. He's bullying you and treating you like crap because he believes that he can intimidate you into thinking you can't get anyone else because of your disability.

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Wolfshook Community Regular

Wolfshook

Posted
Posted
He ays he loves me.

And he probably do .

But i cant understand him somtimes ... he dont wanna have a life? He says time will come.

 

Im 24 almost 25

 

I suppose he is the same age as you, if so ditch him asap. He is irresponsible and at that age he should at least be trying hard to get a job or study something. I dont believe he will change,and you will be better off single than winth somebody useless. And on top of all that he is really treating you bad, and that alone should be enough to ditch him.

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Ellycupcake Rookie

Ellycupcake

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Noone but you knows what you really want.

 

I would stay in spain untill my head gets clearer. And would leave that UK guy since he is no use and he is abusing you verbaly, why is he with you if he is ashamed? He sounds like an idiot.

 

How old are you?

 

Well first things first, your current boyfriend sounds like he's treating you awfully. He's verbally abusive to you, please recognize that isn't right or okay and based on that and that alone you shouldn't be with him. Add the other issues, him not working, living with his parents in a pretty terrible situation, all around it sounds bad and I don't think you should return there.

 

When it comes to the other guy, I don't think you should rush into anything with him. I don't think you should have rushed into it with your current boyfriend either, but I understand living in another country makes it difficult. If you are set on meeting the other guy I would suggest to go for a visit so you can figure out if you like each other, but do not go with the intention to move in. After being in such an abusive situation you shouldn't jump into anything with anyone else.

 

I suppose he is the same age as you, if so ditch him asap. He is irresponsible and at that age he should at least be trying hard to get a job or study something. I dont believe he will change,and you will be better off single than winth somebody useless. And on top of all that he is really treating you bad, and that alone should be enough to ditch him.

 

Thank you . Its hard very hard when i stop and think ... well i love him so i should be with him . But then if i stay with him i will probably have nothing ..

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Wolfshook Community Regular

Wolfshook

Posted
Posted

Love is not exclusive thing and sometimes you might be just thinking that you love somebody untill you find somebody else you love even more, I've loved before and I tought that was the true love, but nothing was comparable to love for my current ex,and even now I'm not sure there is somebody out there I will love even more.

 

And to love is not to be stupid, love doesnt feed people,and if he was to love you he wouldnt use your dissability against you and not take you out because he "is ashamed" of you.

 

I'm sure you will find somebody who will truly love you and you will love that person too.

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Ellycupcake Rookie

Ellycupcake

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Love is not exclusive thing and sometimes you might be just thinking that you love somebody untill you find somebody else you love even more, I've loved before and I tought that was the true love, but nothing was comparable to love for my current ex,and even now I'm not sure there is somebody out there I will love even more.

 

And to love is not to be stupid, love doesnt feed people,and if he was to love you he wouldnt use your dissability against you and not take you out because he "is ashamed" of you.

 

I'm sure you will find somebody who will truly love you and you will love that person too.

 

Thank you . I really do hope i find someone . Or i gain courage and meet yhe first guy.

I like him alot and he says he dont mind my disability but sometimes idk... sometimes i feel like he dont know how i look properly . Or how i walk .

Me being so small and fat makes me such an ugly person and so depressed.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

Posted
Posted

It's good you left this bf, but this other guy is more of a gaming cyber-romance. Try to make new friends.

H i have an disability on my legs called rickets. My parents live in spain and right now i am in spain . I came two days ago as i argued with my bf (guy nr2) and i came to my parents house. he gets angry he calls me loads of stuff. Says im a fat dwarf.

...

Plus this guy never leaves his house . He dont work or anything . Hes only one year older than me but he only wants to play on his console.

 

So i met this guy on playstation 5years ago and he lives in america We talked alot and i fell in love with him and he was in love with me . We planned to meet and be together but that never happened because of me. we skyped lots of times .

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