Broken heart

[Tab2n0]

My ex abruptly broke up with me in January ( we dated for about 6 months) but we were still seeing each other, then in march it was officially over once he told me that he has been sleeping with someone else! Its now almost the end of April & I feel like my whole world has crashed. I am seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist who has prescribed me xanax for anxiety & panic attacks and has put me on an anti depressant for depression while going through this. The xanax has helped me go to sleep idk what the anti depressant will do because it takes about 3 weeks to kick in. Since this break up, I haven't been able to function at work, I feel very depressed, lonely, upset , sad & all I do at home is cry & sleep. I know the only cure for this is time but I feel that is such a long way from now. At one point I felt suicidal but I know I cannot do that, I still have a will to live but it's so hard , I just don't know what to do with myself anymore

[Hermes]

Tab. No one, but no one, is worth the sort of agony you are describing. This was just a six month dating, and you know break-ups are part and parcel, apparently, of the present-day dating scene.

 

You are experiencing a kind of bereavement, and you know, bereavement is not an illness.

 

I think it would be very useful and highly worthwhile for you to start seeing a therapist, to address not the whys and wherefores of the breakup but any underlying problems that may be there.

[Billie28]

He dumped you in January. 3 months ago. It was official then.

Why were you seeing a guy that dumped you?

I think what you need to address with your therapist is your reaction to being rejected. Rejection is something we all face regularly. But our reaction to that differs.

One year ago you were happy without him. Are you really going to tell he that you can't be happy without him again? Look back on happy pics on your fb etc from just before you met him. Then tell me if you really think that girl is incapable of happiness?

This guy wasted your time from jan till March and you allowed him to.

Be strong! And do not allow him to waste anymore of your time.

[bob the brave]

I agree with Hermes. Stop the drugs, they will only add to the problem. I think psychiatrists are a waste of time and can even be dangerous. They seek to find a 'problem' with you so they can fix it when there is nothing wrong with you personally. You just have a broken heart. Trying to fix you will lead you to thinking there is something wrong with you which can ironically cause such a problem. But a good general counselor that has lots of experience can be very helpful in just helping you talk openly about things you can't discuss the same way with friends or family.

 

A broken heart should not be taken lightly. I once saw a documentary where they showed MRIs of the brain of people with broken legs and broken hearts. The same pain centers of the brain were activated. The brain views a broken heart as an actual injury. It will just take time and you may never heal completely. Just learn to grow stronger and wiser. Taking occasional licks is part of life. It may not seem like it now, but you will find someone that you will love for real. It will just take time.

[jjkk]

Stop the drugs Do NOT do this without talking to the psychiatrist first. Some anti-depressants can have side effects if they're stopped abruptly. Follow up with the dr before stopping any meds please. No one here can tell you whether or not you really need these meds. While I agree that taking medication when it's not necessary is harmful I also know that stopping meds when you need them or stopping them in an inappropriate way can have devastating consequences.

 

I'm glad you're in therapy and I'm sure it will be helpful. I promise it gets better! Hang in there!

[Coot20]

I feel the same as you about my breakup. I keep crying and this will probably go on for a while. I'm pretty sensitive and its hard for me to get over people. I also felt like I was emotionally abused in the relationship so there's just a lot of hurt.

 

Like other people said, if I were you I would not go on antidepressants. They can have some really nasty physical side effects when you're on them a long time... You probably do not want to deal with these side effects. Xanax is a bit different in that it calms you down temporarily then leaves your system quickly, so taking it once in a while is safe, as long as you don't take it everyday, just be careful of addiction

[Tab2n0]

Thanks everyone. Some days I'm fine and then other days I'm a wreck. We spent so much time together. We told each other that we loved each other and even discussed marriage etc. Then one day I guess he just got tired of me... He was so nonchalant about it too, he's like just move on, you're a beautiful girl, you'll find someone else blah blah blah. And now he's moved on with his life as if I never existed , I dont understand how a person does that

[Coot20]

How odd that it was so random like that. I'm sorry that happened to you.

 

"move on, you'll be fine you're beautiful"... if he finds it really easy to just move on to the next "beautiful girl" then well.. I guess that says a lot of how he views most women as replaceable. At least you know now that he is not ready for a real commitment if he can just give up and not bother to give you a mature explanation.. He is clearly immature, emotionally stunted, and not worthy of a relationship from you. The new girl will probably catch on to his immaturity as well, so try not to be jealous of her.

[Tab2n0]

Coot20: you are so right! Its like he has no care in the world! Very unemotional and inconsiderate of other people's feelings, unless it involves him directly, he really doesn't care. When I was crying to him over the phone, he was very curt and saying things like well what am I supposed to do, not deal with anyone else because of your feelings? And then says well I have to go to the gym so I'll call you later... I think its the way he is with me so insensitive & cold hearted, it really hurts

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like he was not as serious or committed to the relationship as you thought. 6 months is not a long time. He is not ready for long-term or settling down. Agree you should just move on and not go back.

My ex abruptly broke up with me in January we dated for about 6 months but we were still seeing each other, then in march it was officially over once he told me that he has been sleeping with someone else! He was so nonchalant about it too, he's like just move on, you're a beautiful girl, you'll find someone else blah blah blah. And now he's moved on with his life

[bob the brave]

Stop the drugs Do NOT do this without talking to the psychiatrist first. Some anti-depressants can have side effects if they're stopped abruptly. Follow up with the dr before stopping any meds please. No one here can tell you whether or not you really need these meds. While I agree that taking medication when it's not necessary is harmful I also know that stopping meds when you need them or stopping them in an inappropriate way can have devastating consequences.

 

I'm glad you're in therapy and I'm sure it will be helpful. I promise it gets better! Hang in there!

 

Thanks for pointing that out. Yes, I agree, one should NOT START OR STOP the use of prescription drugs without the consult of medical professionals. I was to referring to my opinion regarding the therapy and use of drugs for this sort of the thing in general. When making such statements I often implicitly rely on the intelligence of the reader for comrehension, but realize some may inadvertently take it literally.

[bob the brave]

Thanks everyone. Some days I'm fine and then other days I'm a wreck. We spent so much time together. We told each other that we loved each other and even discussed marriage etc. Then one day I guess he just got tired of me... He was so nonchalant about it too, he's like just move on, you're a beautiful girl, you'll find someone else blah blah blah. And now he's moved on with his life as if I never existed , I dont understand how a person does that

 

I'm 50 have lived and worked all over the world. I can tell you, regardless of governments, religion and culture, people are basically the same everything - selfish. It may take different forms and different degrees but it's pretty much a common illness that afflicts us all. I wish it were different.

[catfeeder]

My heart goes out to you. It's unfortunate that you delayed your healing by continuing to see the guy after he broke up with you. If you can take anything of value from this, I'd consider this experience to be the thing that prevents me from accepting a demotion ever again as a means of trying to win love. It doesn't work.

 

Head high.

[Tab2n0]

Catfeeder: I like that message about backing off, it is very hard for me but I am trying my best, thank you for your kind words & advice

[Tab2n0]

This really hit home, I needed to hear this, thank you!!