Capricorn3 Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Does anyone else want to leave their opinion/advice? Thanks Be patient. This happens to be the quietest time of day/night on ENA. Due to time zone differences, half the world is sleeping and the other half are at work. Things will get busier in about 6-8 hours time. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 IthinkIcan, I don't think you understood me. I do have feelings for him still and I know I'd be heartbroken if he was with someone else but I'd accept it. And don't you think that if I was going to forget his birthday I would have a done it a year ago, instead I am here asking if I should wish him a happy birthday? I just feel like it's been a year, the dust has settled and I'm ready to talk, ready to get closure on everything. In fact, I don't think you even read everything I wrote, otherwise you wouldn't be writing half the things you just wrote. But ok I read everything. The question is Do I wish him a happy birthday? The question could have been, "Do I use his birthday as an excuse to talk to him to see if we should try again?" The answer is, no, you don't. 1. Let it go, you will not regret it. 2. Create a vision of the relationship you want, and move towards that. Include in your image a vision of how you and your guy will communicate emotions and how you will resolve conflict. 3. If you have fear of losing something, it is a sign you need to let the thing go and work on yourself. 4. Relationships become more peaceful and steady when we are not afraid of losing them, when we are not using them to deliver the life we want to achieve or the emotional security we need... When we are able to be responsible for ourselves and fulfill our needs on our own. The relationship was needlessly dramatic at times, taking cover from challenges instead of working together to get through them. The right pairing will bring peace, and you will turn towards each other when stressed rather than away. In short, if you wanted to wish him happy birthday, sure, who cares. In fact, you want to show that you may be available in case he wants to revisit the relationship. It's a last grab before you really let him fade away. I'm saying, let him go. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I read everything. The question is Do I wish him a happy birthday? The question could have been, "Do I use his birthday as an excuse to talk to him to see if we should try again?" The answer is, no, you don't. 1. Let it go, you will not regret it. 2. Create a vision of the relationship you want, and move towards that. Include in your image a vision of how you and your guy will communicate emotions and how you will resolve conflict. 3. If you have fear of losing something, it is a sign you need to let the thing go and work on yourself. 4. Relationships become more peaceful and steady when we are not afraid of losing them, when we are not using them to deliver the life we want to achieve or the emotional security we need... When we are able to be responsible for ourselves and fulfill our needs on our own. The relationship was needlessly dramatic at times, taking cover from challenges instead of working together to get through them. The right pairing will bring peace, and you will turn towards each other when stressed rather than away. In short, if you wanted to wish him happy birthday, sure, who cares. In fact, you want to show that you may be available in case he wants to revisit the relationship. It's a last grab before you really let him fade away. I'm saying, let him go. And I.get it, by the way. Maybe you dont mean, Should we try again, but at least, Should we talk again? Should we revisit the intimacy we once had? Is it really gone? Yes, it's gone and you don't want it back. Whatever the reasons, it doesn't matter. Just let it go. It's time to look to the future, to make a space for whatever is next. Link to comment
faraday Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Those are selfish reasons - to see if there is anything there for you. You only may call him to wish happy birthday once you couldn't care less if he has something to offer you. By then, you may not care that it's his birthday. This^ The things is...by the time you've let him go and have no expectations with regards to contacting him....you'll have no desire to contact him. I have wanted to wish exes happy birthday/merry Christmas/ happy Easter (whatever lol) and in hindsight, I only wanted to when I wasn't over them. Keep going. It gets better. Focus on loving yourself, loving your life, being happy...and sooner or later, you'll forget about your ex and meet someone else. But...it's been a year. So really try to focus on moving on. Every time you think about him, push the thought away and think "it didn't work- he's not my "the one". There is someone better for me." And then do something to take care of yourself- go for a walk, do your nails, call a gf, start planning and saving for a fun trip, just focus on yourself. Link to comment
AllieV10 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 So guys its his birthday today, so far ive managed to NOT contact him. Which is good. But then i feel like i should. I did wish him a happy birthday inside my head and thats it. Ugh. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 So guys its his birthday today, so far ive managed to NOT contact him. Which is good. But then i feel like i should. I did wish him a happy birthday inside my head and thats it. Ugh. That's cool, you can wish him whatever you want inside your own head. I've done lots of stuff I shouldn't inside my own head...and some things I'd like to do (I've done some unbelievable things to Robert Downey Jr. and Timothy Olyphant inside my head!!) Good for you, stay strong! Link to comment
AllieV10 Posted March 23, 2016 Author Share Posted March 23, 2016 That's cool, you can wish him whatever you want inside your own head. I've done lots of stuff I shouldn't inside my own head...and some things I'd like to do (I've done some unbelievable things to Robert Downey Jr. and Timothy Olyphant inside my head!!) Good for you, stay strong! Haha thanks for the laugh boltnrun. My thoughts have just been running crazy. Surprisingly it hasnt been an emotional day like i thought. I just feel like "whatever", I've been reading alot of similar threads to mine and how some people contacted their exes. They either got a respone (but it wasnt a respone that they wanted) or they didn't get a respone at all. Either way it set them back on their road to recovery. I realised if he hasnt bothered to wish me a happy birthday back in January then why should I, i owe him nothing, he walked away from me while i was fighting to save our relationship. Anyway, I've lost him I'm not about to lose my dignity and self worth. I know if I text him I'd set myself back so much, and it's been a year of NC so why do that to myself. Obviously if he wanted me he would've contacted me already. Hopefully, on today I've crossed his mind once and hopefully my silence on his birthday speaks VOLUMES..thats if he still thinks of me. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 You'll be fine And if he thinks of you, it really doesn't matter. Because you've proved for at least a year (and counting) that you don't need him in your life. You're doing just fine. Link to comment
Itsme2033 Posted March 24, 2016 Share Posted March 24, 2016 I'm glad you were able to make it through the day without contacting him. And what you said about reading the other threads is so true. The contact after a period of time almost never goes like the person thought it would. Link to comment
AllieV10 Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 So hi guys its been almost 3 months since I've posted on here and alot has changed, for the better. I just have a question for you guys out of curiosity. So as you all may know I haven't had any contact with my ex for over a year now, and ive come a long way. Since the beginning of our relationship till 2 days ago I haven't been on his Facebook. So the other day I accidentally saw his little brother in the "people you may know" (i also didn't go on his families fb) section and decided to click on it and saw some photos of my ex, and for the first time i felt nothing at all. So i decided to look him up on Facebook and his name came up but it had no profile picutre on it, so i clicked on his profile and there was nothing on the profile it was blank and it only had the add as friend option, so i thought that was weird, i thrn decied to search his mum up and the same thing happeend, then i searched his sister up and the same thing again! I thought it was weird considering how active they all were on Facebook while i was with him. So I initially thought he blocked me so i logged out of Facebook and searched all 3 of them again and the same thing showed up. So i logged in onto my Friends' Facebook and searched them up and same thing again. All their profiles were there but they were blank no profile pic nothing. Only his little brothers Facebook was still active. Its kind of weird because during our relationship he was always on Fb and i even asked him to deactivate it once and he refused, so now that hes missing from Facebook its odd. I honestly dont care im just curious as to why do you guys think this is? If anyone is familair with Facebook Link to comment
Kadbanoo Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 I honestly dont care im just curious as to why do you guys think this is? If anyone is familair with Facebook of course you care! Link to comment
AllieV10 Posted June 5, 2016 Author Share Posted June 5, 2016 of course you care! I just wanted an answer regarding my question, please dont answer if you're going to be useless. Link to comment
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