Why would a guy start to text me less now that we've had sex? Or so it seems?

[angelamckenzie]

I've been dating this guy for a little while now. Everything seems to be going great. We talk about everything and anything, and seem to be both very happy around each other. Whenever we see each other, he will pick me up and always drop me home. Little things I've noticed, for example if we are out together and someone is looking at me, he will push his chest out and sort of walk in front of me to show dominance. He will at times order my meal for me and I will sit back. Or he will make sure that he picks me up for most things, even if I need to go food shopping, he will suggest picking me up. He talks about where I live, and exactly which apartment which could be him implying that he wants to come in and meet my family. He will open the door for me, hold my bags and do whatever to make me feel comfortable. For example, we go and watch a movie, he will always bring a cardigan, just in case I get cold. We normally text every day for quite some time and he usually initiates most conversations telling me good morning or asking how I've slept, how my day has been, when we can catch up etc. We see each other quite a few times a week. He has showed me signs that he is very serious about me, and regularly includes me in his plans for the future.

 

About 2 months into dating, we decided to sleep with each other. That night, which was Wednesday, he seemed to have cummed pretty quickly yet also made sure he pleased me, we cuddled for some time after that and then slept. I actually got my period that night unfortunately and he made sure we got everything we needed from the shops and then had something to eat. He took me out to dinner that night in which we had our usual good time, he spoke what he wants in a relationship, his views on marriage, what he wants in 5 years which is to have a family and be married. Then asked what mine are. We then went back to watch some movies and relaxed. He had to be somewhere by the morning, so he dropped me home. When he dropped me home, he said that he was going to miss me and I didn't quite understand what he meant. Normally when he drops me home, we sort of organise when we're going to meet next. I asked out of curiosity and he said he will be away for a few days but will let me know when he's back. The next morning, he texted me asking how I slept. His replies were pretty causal. I replied to keep the conversation going, and then it stopped. It went back to normal the next morning, however stopped pretty quickly. He told me that he was back in town and I told him that it was good to hear, I sent that last night and I've heard nothing since. Although I did see him online tonight. Am I silly to be worrying about this? Meaning, is he really not texting me less, it's just me thinking that?

[mhowe]

He's hanging out with his wife and family. Don't worry, he will get back to you midweek.

[Sportster2005]

I don't think it's time to panic yet. Relax.

 

If you're looking for behavior changes after sex, you'll find them. It's cognitive bias. Or more simply, when we believe something we selectively find things to bolster our argument. Try to pretend you don't have a horse in the race. How would you advise someone in this situation.

 

And even if he is distancing himself, it may not have anything to do with the sex. If it was I don't think you would hear anything from him.

[RainyCoast]

that and he probably just has a drug deal to close. no worries.

 

OP, have you heard the name of his impressionable workplace and seen whom and why he's living with?

 

i guess you could just post another three theads on the very same subject. maybe it'll sink in then.

[angelamckenzie]

Thank you. Why else do you think he may be "distancing" himself though?

[RainyCoast]

well, illegal trade in weapons and pimping can also be quite demanding on the schedule. i would relax.

[mhowe]

Thank you. Why else do you think he may be "distancing" himself though?

 

Maybe they have company visiting from out of town. The point is, you aren't a priority. You are a side dish.

[sara-pezzini]

You asked this yesterday as well!

[sara-pezzini]

And the day before that pretty much as well

[Kadbanoo]

He's hanging out with his wife and family. Don't worry, he will get back to you midweek.

 

Oh, I shouldn't chuckle at other's misfortune, but this made me laugh out loud...

[sara-pezzini]

It seems that you don't like the answers you get so you make a new thread every day and leave a lot of stuff out so hopefully then you'll get the answers you want to hear.

So okay here goes.

It's totally normal for a guy to do this and he is of course super into you and there is nothing weird at all about this situation

[angelamckenzie]

Okay, fair enough. Freedom of speech. However, purely because every day seems like the texting is less. Therefore I am updating you guys with more info so I can get a better understanding and normal to do what? I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not.

[mhowe]

Less texting mean diminishing interest.

[sara-pezzini]

I was sarcastic obviously but here's what i really think.

He is involved with someone else, he lives with a sibling? How convenient. The calls he gets are male voices? Who's to say that isn't a brother or friend telling him to get home to his wife?

I seriously think he is either married or in a relationship or something else fishy is going on and now that you had sex his interest lessens

[RainyCoast]

angela. it's sarcasm. nothing here is normal.

 

why are you more worried about the texts fading out than you are about the high stakes of this guy drugging and trafficking you?

 

pray to god he changed his mind and is not actually into you. or your kidneys.

[sara-pezzini]

And usually you update your thread, not make more and more about the same subject.....

[mhowe]

I think this guy booked the hotel room, and told the front desk guy to call at a certain time. Then he had sex with you, pretended the call was his boss and made up the story about having to leave town in the morning so he had to take you home.

 

If he had really been into you, he would have spent the night and bought you breakfast. As it is, he is kinda ignoring you.

[sara-pezzini]

I totally agree with mhowe!

Look the fact is that instead of being on an insanely happy rush after you slept with him for the first time and thinking about him and how sweet he was, you have now come on here 3 days in a row since it happened and made threads, people who feel secure about the guy don't do that, this is your gut telling you something doesn't feel right! Listen to it. We all have these gut feelings but many ignore it and brush it off but your gut it clearly sensing something is off here.

And i know that sucks!

[Rosti87]

And the day before that pretty much as well

 

I think there is an echo in here... LOL! Don't know what the OP is trying to do here.

[greta96]

It sounds like he got what he wanted and now is on the prowl for the next victim. The more you post about this guy, the more certain I become that he is not single (probably married), and looking to spice his sex life with variety. Now that he got what he wanted from you, time to go back online and find another target. It's only so many times he can take you to a hotel before you start asking how come he's not sexing you at his place.

How long are you going to keep this up? When are you planning to ask questions and find out what's the real deal here?

[ParisPaulette]

Well yeah, if they have sex with you and the communication drops off it's usually pretty much a sign of "game over, on to the next." But he's been out of the country and who knows what's going on. He might be stuck in a TWA interrogation room somewhere...

 

But yes, slowed interest, not more, after sex = not good generally. I'm sorry, everyone else here sees married man. I see a John Grisham novel.

 

Regardless, if he fades out there's nothing you can do about it. It's not like you can control another human being and if it happens it happens.