I loved cats all my life and now I don't, Why? :(

[ForestofDreams]

This has actually been bothering me for quite some time. All my life I have simply LOVED cats. I always had at least 4 cats in my house at any given time. I had posters of big cats on my walls, I talked in "meow talk" to them, I missed them whenever I went out, and I drew pictures of cats. I was the typical crazy cat lady starting at age 5.

 

My favourite cat (and best buddy) Remmy, was a tiny tabby cat with huge green eyes, a heart shaped nose, and white on his face. He even had a heart shape on his chest. I was simply in love with this cat. When he became old and blind, and soon after died of kidney failure I started to slowly feel different. My mom moved away with the other 3 cats. For a while I didn't live with cats but still obsessed over them. It took a long time and I eventually got a tabby kitten named Tanooky (at age 23). He was pretty much everything that I longed for in a cat. He was perfect. I missed him terribly even if I was just going to the grocery store, I always bought him heaps of different kinds of soft foods, and even bought him fresh salmon...oven baked and he loved it.

 

At my apartment, 2 years later, my manager said it was an animal free building and if I wanted to renew my lease I'd have to get rid of him. I didn't know what else to do, because I had nowhere else to go...so my mom said "I can look after him until you move out". I gave Tanooky to her, and she lives by a huge meadow with willow trees, so everytime I visited her I would walk Tanooky on a little cat leash out in the summer breeze. It was happy times.

 

Eventually I found a new place, one that was okay with pets, and so I asked my mom for Tanooky back. She said okay...but everytime I went to go pick up Tanooky she would change her mind. 5 years passed and I finally got frustrated with her and said "he's the only cat I bonded with since Remmy's death! How can you steal my cat from me?" Until this day she never gave Tanooky back. I still resent her for that.

 

Years went on and I owned 2 new cats, a snowshoe siamese and a tabby. By this point I noticed I felt almost nothing for these 2 new animals...and it made me feel horrible. I became pregnant and that's when I really started to feel strange around my two cats.

 

I resented them, I found them annoying, I ignored them most of the time or yelled at them. I had my son and nothing changed so I ended up giving one of them away because I felt like he would be happier somewhere where people would love him. I didn't even cry when they took him, even though I raised him from a tiny kitten. This made me feel sad.

 

I loved him...but something was off. I didn't think about him much and sometimes even forgot about him.

 

I still have my one cat Timber, and I feel bad because I don't really cuddle him much. I am always busy taking care of my son now, so when Timber (my cat now) even meows at me, I find it really irritating.

 

I feel sad... It's like I fell out of love with my life's passion. It's made me depressed. I want to love Timber like I did Tanooky and Remmy, but it's just not there. I miss Remmy, and I resent my mom for taking away Tanooky (he was the first cat I ever owned on my own, and I was obsessed with him. I was totally in love with him.) As for Timber..I feel almost nothing. I still care for him...but I hardly ever enjoy him like I should. I feel angry in a way...like...resentful and sad at what happened, and it turned into me not liking cats anymore

 

What can I do to fix this? I want to love them again like I once did. I want my son to grow up loving cats like I did, because I know how awesome it can be. But he won't ever learn that if he sees how irritable I am around Timber. I feel terrible

[Clinton]

A lot of people get tired of pets eventually. Maybe find a good home for them and take a break from animals for awhile.

[browneyedgirl36]

I agree with Clinton. Maybe you just need a little break. I have had cats since I was 5 (nearly 40 years), and I can't imagine not having one. I will probably always have one. In your case, the combination of what happened with the cat you left with your mom AND the fact that you now have a child and don't have a much time/attention to give to a pet MIGHT explain why you're feeling this way. I would suggest taking some time off from pets and maybe, when your son is old enough, talk with him about possibly getting a pet that he can help take care of.

[Seraphim]

Let the cat go to someone who will love him. It is a sad existence for the cat to be unloved.

 

Sometimes it is hard to focus on a new baby and animals at the same time. Some people when they have their children entirely shift focus. My brother's wife when she had their first child immediately shifted her cats on to me because she wanted nothing to do with them anymore.

[chitown9]

You shifted your love, time and attention to a human baby. What is wrong with that? It is the healthy thing to do. Have you ever considered that your attachment to cats was a little over the top? :snowman: chi

[ParisPaulette]

Well, a) you have losses connected to pets and you probably rushed to fill that void with other pets when you weren't fully recovered and ready to bond with a new animal and b) you have your son now. Pets, whether anyone wants to admit it or not, are often surrogate children to one degree or another. And we lavish on them all of the love and affection and attention in much the same way we do our own children. And when children come along they become the natural recipients of all that love and attention.

 

It doesn't mean you love cats less, it means you have those needs fulfilled right now as a mother. And also as with people all cats are not the same. I've had some I simply adored who adored me and then I've had those who were not so great and one beautiful Siamese who destroyed my house and drove me nearly to the brink of insanity. I finally ended up rehoming her with an old woman who could lavish the attention and babying she needed 24/7.

 

During the time my kids were little I didn't really have much in the way of pets, a dog or cat here and there, but it was city living and I was a single mom, so didn't have a lot of spare cash for extra mouths. And I didn't particularly care one way or another. As my kids have grown up I now live on a small ranch and have a menagerie again and yup I love animals period. I have way more than just dogs and cats and I love them all.

 

My husband recently caught me baby-talking one of my horses and told me she was obviously my surrogate "baby" and he's not too far off the mark on that one.

 

So stop stressing, enjoy your son, and for now if you can rehome Timber to someone who will love him. The cat feels the lack of attention and cats, contrary to popular belief, need a pride, need to be part of a group to really thrive. Later on down the line your son will want pets and he may just choose a dog or a ferret or some other pet than a cat and that's okay, he doesn't have to have your choice in animals. As long as you teach him to bond with, love and care, for any other living thing it's good.

 

And yes, just fully give yourself time to grieve your losses and let it go until the day a special cat finds you. If it really disturbs you perhaps seeing someone who specializes in grief loss over pets can help.