pavlo81 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 As above. ...ive been on numerous dates been a bit of a disaster. ..finding now all the rejection or dissapointment is making me upset......knowing my ex is in a new relationship makes it worse Link to comment
sentiententity Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Worked for me. Took YEARS though. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 11, 2015 Share Posted April 11, 2015 Worked for me in the sense that I met some really good people and had a few short term relationships. Worked beautifully for several friends, men and women, who met their spouses through dating sites. Off the top of my head I can think of 9 children so far resulting from those marriages! Link to comment
Andrina Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I met my husband on OLD, and our 4 year anniversary is in 3 months. I went on dates with about 30 men in a two and a half year period. I had found out about link removed shortly before meeting my husband, and enjoyed the few times I went on outings with those singles groups. I would recommend that to supplement OLD. And no, I never did have a thick skin, but I put up with all the frustrating, crazy, awkward dating experiences since finding a lifetime companion was my goal. I refused to date long distance, but I do have a good memory that makes me smile of a man who contacted me from Hawaii. Since cell phone calls are free on weekends, we spoke once and he sang me a song accompanied on his ukulele called "The Happy Song." Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Never knew it was this hard ey....it really is awkward Link to comment
Fixee Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I've been on exactly one date from an online site. And she's wonderful... but she's been on a lot more and said most people are very creepy and undateable. In fact, an hour into our date she said, "I'm just so relieved you're NORMAL!" That was a funny compliment, but I'll take it. I may continue to date online, and I'm expecting to meet some odd folks. Link to comment
Misskitty16 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 It's not working out for me, but some people have had good success with it. Link to comment
wsim Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I knew a friend who found her boyfriend through OLD. They have been together for about 2 years now. From my experience, no it hasn't worked for me. Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Im actually off to a date now......however I now go with liitle expectations and to be honest expect it to be a waste of time......I need to be honest and say all of this makes me feel ugly inside and out. ...I appreciate the feedback om sure it can work but gee it all seems so forced Link to comment
Fixee Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 pavlo81: Be sure and report later on how it went! I've never really been on a bad date... a few that never went anywhere, but just because there wasn't really a spark. What does a "bad date" look like? Any OLD stories people want to share? (I'm not trying to hijack the thread... I think this is still on-topic?!) Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 pavlo81: Be sure and report later on how it went! I've never really been on a bad date... a few that never went anywhere, but just because there wasn't really a spark. What does a "bad date" look like? Any OLD stories people want to share? (I'm not trying to hijack the thread... I think this is still on-topic?!) Well again no spark got along ok... really nice friendly women....but end of day waste of time...interesting to see if she even contacts me....the worst thing is it makes me miss my old life I really want a partner and I hate myself dor ing up the last one Link to comment
thorandjake Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I have had good experience with both the older online dating tools and the new. The thing is it can be tough, exhausting and extremely time-consuming because you often do need to go on a high number of dates, say 10-30 before you probably meet someone you truly have chemistry with. But look at dating as a way to get to know another person and also yourself better. Get the best out of every date, even though you both know that you're not going any further than this first awkward date where you don't really have stuff to talk about. Just get the best out of the situation! Also never have high expectations when going on a date with someone you have never met before, maybe you have had some great conversations on text, but meeting up IRL is a complete different thing. For online dating today, I would definitely recommend using the app Tinder where you have a huge number of people to pick from and can narrow it down to people close to you geographically. Have a great day and enjoy your dates Link to comment
happpybear Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I started OLD in mid-December. So far, it's been pretty good. I have not had a bad date yet. The men I have met have been perfectly nice. With most guys i have met it hasn't gone past that first date, but two guys I met I liked enough to see again. I would say so far 80% of the guys I met wanted to see me again, but have only wanted to see 20% again. I am on eHarmony. I have no expectations other than to have a good time and for both of us to leave our date feeling good. I have met some truly interesting people even though I didn't want to see them again romantically. I know several people who have met their SO or spouse online, so it can happen. Try to think of OLD as just another method of meeting people, in addition to meeting people IRL by socializing, volunteering, etc. Link to comment
Jeffbobo Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Well again no spark got along ok... really nice friendly women....but end of day waste of time...interesting to see if she even contacts me....the worst thing is it makes me miss my old life I really want a partner and I hate myself dor ing up the last one If there wasn't a *spark* on your end, who cares if she contacts you or not. I'd be up front with her if there wasn't though. If there was at least something, it may be worth giving it some time. Put your old life behind you. That's done and over. History. As long as you continue to wallow in your old life and compare any potential relationship to that, the women you meet won't have a chance. Relationships take time to develop. If you go into online dating with the expectation of finding "the one" as well as pining for the one that got away or your old relationship, you will fail every time. That being said, I got slightly off topic. My experience with OLD over the past four or so years, in a nutshell has been with very fast women. I've met and dated quite a few women. All that I've met have been in what I'd consider the upper eschelon of attractiveness for the sites I've been on. By attractiveness, I mean physically and "on paper" (their profiles). It's tough dating, I'm in my mid fourties, kids 50%, career and personal goals. Many are looking for an "insta-relationship", they push quickly and it turns me off (doesn't matter how attractive they are) so I don't have a "success story" with OLD, just a lot of experiences which I've learned from and perhaps some words of wisdom. Link to comment
pavlo81 Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 Sounds like it's worked a little for you. ....cheers for advice to.....im no brad pitt to be honest I dont rate my looks at all....just have not been physically attracted and if I have its not replicated. ...someone said its a numbers so I keep telling myself surely sooner or later someone you at least connect a little bit with will come along....I find the issue is women get inundated with messages and have to many options. ...its hard to keep there attention Link to comment
Andrina Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 If you go into the date with a negative attitude, it's going to show through on your face and in your body language, and may turn off that one woman you might have wanted a second date with. Try to be in the present moment, and think that you are going to enjoy the conversation while drinking a tasty cup of coffee, and don't think beyond that. Instead of feeling downcast if the sparks aren't there, it's better to see the reality of the situation. It would have to be pure good luck if on the first date you met someone where you both had chemistry with each other, had the same dating goals, and over time saw that you were compatible in all of the major ways. You have to realize that it usually takes a lot of sifting through sand before you find the treasure. With each date, know that you are taking a step to your goal, and are being proactive. I recommend the book, The Key by Joe Vitale. It helps you to set goals with a positive outlook. Take care. Link to comment
faraday Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Six years ago, I signed up for eHarmony convinced by the commercials that the site would find me my match. I went into dates expecting that and was devastated. I've done online dating off and on for the last six years...met over 200 guys. Had several relationships that varied in length, from a few months to two and a half years. I met my current guy on eHarmony. He's moving in, in June. He's good people. Idk...when I changed my perspective "eHarmony will find my soulmate" to "eHarmony is a great avenue for meeting people I would have otherwise met", things started to go way better. I went into dates expecting to meet someone new, nothing more, nothing less...and I felt more in control. I didn't need a thick skin because it didn't get to me. Does that makes sense? It's an avenue to meet people. If you're not meeting people online, but have no problem in person- you need to work on your pics. If you can't meet anyone in person or online...it's time to figure out why you're not date-able, and become the best version of yourself. Link to comment
Misskitty16 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Well again no spark got along ok... really nice friendly women....but end of day waste of time...interesting to see if she even contacts me....the worst thing is it makes me miss my old life I really want a partner and I hate myself dor ing up the last one I am sure she sensed you were not attracted to her. I would be surprised if she contacts you only for that reason. Link to comment
happy_snapper Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Met one girl, went on a couple of dates. Had online conversations with a couple more. Met my girlfriend offline. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Depends what your criteria for success is. If going on a gazillion dates and meeting lots of potential partners is 'working', then yes it does work. The two women I would scale mountains for and fight a small army single handed I met in real life. Iad only h one two monthish relationship with someone I met online. Her nymphomania made up for her shortcomings, at least for a while. I've also made some friends online. These friendships have allowed me to grow my social network. This in turn has lead to other dates. Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I cannot say it doesnt work... Ive started in 2004 and have been on quite a few dating sites. As someone before stated, it took me some time to use it correctly. Having good photos, a well written profile and overall interesting discussions. I Can think of 4/5 relationships Ive had with online dating and especially the one That lasted the longer 4 years ago. Honestly it seems to be harder for me now. Women dont even hide being picky. I read This afternoon a girls profile who expected from a Guy to win over $4000 a month which is really not Common here especially for a man under 30 (her request). My main problem is That Im past 30 and was Never married or have kids, which make people think something aint right with me and half the women my age (if not more) are divorced/separated with 1/2/3 kids which isnt a good match for me. Ironic I know. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Seeing this more in women in my age group. They're preference more and more is guys who make over 75k. In my part of the world the median family salary is around 60k. I get winks and emails from these women quite often. I ignore them. The kicker is even if I made that amount I wouldn't date anyone that has their income preferences listed. Money is important. But to me taking about money early is like talking about sex too early. It's not your business until there is some trust built up. Everyone has a right to any preference they want. I just hope they don't wonder why they are on dating sites for so long. This applies equally I'm sure to the other side of the fence. But it's the way it is, and it's not going to change. I think keeping positive and ignoring the noise online is the only way to succeed. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 I wanted someone financially stable and with a strong work ethic just like myself. Actual salary was less important. I remember a male friend thinking I was crazy for passing up a good looking guy who made a lot of money through a multi level marketing company. I simply didn't like his work/money related values. Simple as that. Link to comment
Fixee Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I'm an admitted novice at OLD, but which sites allow you to list income preferences?! I've not seen that... Link to comment
faraday Posted April 13, 2015 Share Posted April 13, 2015 I'm an admitted novice at OLD, but which sites allow you to list income preferences?! I've not seen that... Match does...I think POF might have that option as well... Link to comment
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