Why is fashion such a big deal?

[Dougie_D]

Sometimes I just feel goofy trying to wear certain clothes. I rather just wear what's comfortable. Pretty much lounge clothes. It seems like women are more likely to judge a man who doesn't dress well. Why is this such a deal breaker? I've never even THOUGHT about being stylish until 4 or 5 years ago. I'm 34 now.

[Fudgie]

I actually don't think fashion is important at all. What is important is wearing clothes that are appropriate for the situation you're in, make you look "put together", don't clash wildly, and compliment your body type. They shouldn't be too baggy or too tight.

 

Fashion has nothing to do with that. Fashion is about "what's in". I don't wear "what's in". I don't have the time or desire to keep up with fashion. I also find that fashionable clothes tend to cost more. I just look for clothes that make me feel good but are work appropriate and are form fitting.

 

Right now, I am wearing some nice brown dress pants (form fitting) and a nice purple sweater that is also form-fitting that has a little V-neck and a nice pattern on it. When I went out today with my winter jacket, I wore a fancy-looking scarf that matches my jacket that I bought for $5 at the public market. It's not fashionable and it's more conservative (I am 25, most women my age don't wear things like what I wear) but it looks nice and I'm happy with it.

 

When I go out, at least where I am, it seems that most people who are older don't dress super fashionably. Younger, yes. However, people who look good are always in clothes that are appropriate, clean, and fit them well. That's key.

 

I would not judge a man for not being fashionable, as I myself am not. However, I'd like a man to take a little pride in his appearance. I have no idea what your lounge clothes look like but if they are baggier or worn out, that's probably not going to look good for you when going out and meeting new people.

[Scoe141]

it seems like women are more likely to judge a man who doesn't dress well. Why is this such a deal breaker?

 

Hey Dougie- I wouldn't let that get you down. What a man wears defines his own personal style. Like men, women find certain things attractive. Some women prefer business like, other sporty, some casual etc. You just haven't found the right woman yet to love you for all of you, including your style!

 

Be you. don't conform to society or what you think a woman wants. Good luck bud.

[pippy longstocking]

Not for all of us dougie ...whatever you imagine a hippy to look like ..thats what I look like ..I don't give a crap and I am encouraging my daughter to find her style rather then run with the pack as well..but it is a lot more important at 15 (her) than 48 (me)

[Hollyj]

Sometimes I just feel goofy trying to wear certain clothes. I rather just wear what's comfortable. Pretty much lounge clothes. It seems like women are more likely to judge a man who doesn't dress well. Why is this such a deal breaker? I've never even THOUGHT about being stylish until 4 or 5 years ago. I'm 34 now.

 

What are lounge clothes? Do you wear these clothes everywhere?

[testcase]

Wear lounge clothes around the house or if you're running errands. If you're going out try to look the best you can! You still have to wear a style that works for you and you feel comfortable in.

[CSNY111]

I love fashion. I love it on me, I love it on guys. If you are dressed nice, that definitely ups your chances. #EveryGirlCrazyBoutASharpDressedMan

[agent1607307371]

Because clothes are one of the tells people use to figure you out. So if you dress sloppily, people will assume you're sloppy. If you dress well, people will assume you care about yourself.

[Loriana]

Hey Dougie,

 

If a woman or in fact anyone is judging you because of your clothes then they are not worth your time.

 

When it comes to fashion wear what makes you comfortable that's what I always say

[bulletproof]

It seems like women are more likely to judge a man who doesn't dress well.

 

That's not necessarily true for every or even most women. Don't make giant generalizations.

 

Do you feel like you're not getting dates because of how you dress?

[Hollyj]

I think there's a time and a place for certain clothes.

 

If you are going to event and restaurants in sweats or sloppy clothes that would be a problem. The same type of clothing is not appropriate for all activities.

[Fudgie]

I think it's totally fine to wear sloppy clothes if you are lounging at home or at the gym or even at the grocery store. My workout outfit is pretty grungy. I work out and grocery shop in it.

 

Going to work and social events though require you to dress just a little nicer though.

[happy_snapper]

That's not necessarily true for every or even most women. Don't make giant generalizations.

 

Do you feel like you're not getting dates because of how you dress?

 

And also, even if it was true, different women will have different opinions of what "dressing well" is.

I never wear fashionable clothes, I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy, sometimes button-up shirts if I'm feeling fancy. I have been told that I always dress badly and that's why I don't attract women (I think they were trying to help)... But I've also been told by others that I always seem to look good and wear clothes that suit me. Apparently I seem very approachable and laid-back.

 

Whether someone is well dressed or not, is an opinion of the observer.

[pippy longstocking]

Whether someone is well dressed or not, is an opinion of the observer.

 

this is exactly it ....if I where out would the man in the suit catch my eye , or would the man with dreadlocks down to his waist and his whacky jumper catch my eye ....

 

I think we all know the answer to that .

[faraday]

I know guys that wear sweats a lot...and they get a ton of dates. They wear sweats because they're personal trainers. This does not mean that only buff men get dates. It means that if you're going to dress down, you have to have something special under the clothes. Like women that dress in lulu's all the time...if they have a good body, no one says anything...if they don't- they get told to dress in more flattering things.

 

You don't very often see men and women together that dress completely the opposites. Different clothing attracts different types of people. When you're dating, it's important to at least consider your target demographic for who you want to date, and think about what that person would find attractive.

 

When I dress differently, I attract different calibers of men. When I don't wear make up, and dress in yoga pants...I don't attract the kind of men I want. So...I wear dresses and heels, wear make up...look cute...and hey! I get the kind of men I'm proud to date.

 

So...think about what kind of woman you'd like...and what she would want from a partner...and go from there.

[Blue Spiral]

I'm another jeans and t-shirt guy. I don't own a tie, I've never worn a tuxedo, and I don't own any shirts with buttons or collars on them--they drive me crazy. I just want to be comfortable; I don't care about other people's perception of me. Tons of female acquaintances have told me that I should dress better, because women won't be "impressed" with me otherwise. My favorite quote: "You have to wear nice clothes so they know you have a good job!"

 

Utility aside, clothing is just another status-symbol...and I've never been interested in status-symbols.

[faraday]

I'm another jeans and t-shirt guy. I don't own a tie, I've never worn a tuxedo, and I don't own any shirts with buttons or collars on them--they drive me crazy. I just want to be comfortable; I don't care about other people's perception of me. Tons of female acquaintances have told me that I should dress better, because women won't be "impressed" with me otherwise. My favorite quote: "You have to wear nice clothes so they know you have a good job!"

 

Utility aside, clothing is just another status-symbol...and I've never been interested in status-symbols.

 

Jeans and t-shirts can be hot. That's all my bf really wears..and hoodies. But he makes sure they fit....and go together. He looks put together even though he's very casual. It's not just what you wear, but how you wear it. I wear dresses and heels...but it still feels casual because I like bold patterns and bright clothing....so I don't feel overdressed.

 

My daughters father wore t-shirts and jeans too...but they were always way too big, and they had holes in them...and he didn't match his socks and stuff...drove me crazy.

[happpybear]

I don't really notice fashion, I'm not fashioney. I live in yoga pants in my downtime.The last item of clothing I bought was a plaid circle skirt from a vintage shop, I don't see two many other women my age wearing that sort of thing. I don't really notice clothing on men either. I see guys in suits all day everyday, and that's nice. But I also have no problem seeing guys in jeans and t-shirts. As long as everything is clean, and in good condition (like not his holey university t-shirt from 15 years ago, or ripped and saggy jeans) then I don't care.

 

The women I know that are very fashioney, also date men that are the same. They go shopping together at the high-end shops. I know plenty more women who are like me and don't care as much and also date guys that are not fashioney either. One of my exes was very metro, and really nto high-end clothing. It was difficult because I often felt like he was almost ashamed to be with me in public--because I wasn't wearing Dolce and didn't care. I often resented how much time he took to get ready and disliked shopping with him. so yeah...incompatible. Don't change your style to attract someone, unless you really want to change your look, for YOU. As long as you are not dirty, or sloppy, jeans and t's and more casual styles will be ok

[Moontiger]

Dressing "fashionably" to me, just means look put together, taking some pride in how you look. For example, most days I pull a clean shirt out of by closet, put on a pair of clean jeans (no holes in thme), shoes are usually flats/boots (if cold)/sneakers. My hair in a pony-tail, some eye makeup and I'm done. This doesn't take that much effort and I feel better when I look a little put together and people respond to me differently, take me more seriously in day to day life.

 

Now,if I rolled out of bed, didn't brush my hair, put on a pair of stained sweat pants, the same shirt I've worn three days in a row etc, well, the world would not respond to me the same way nor would I feel as good about myself or carry myself the same day.

 

Humans are visual creaters, its not just woman, you have seconds to make a first impression.

[Rosti87]

In this situation one has to take in demographics. Dougie lives in LA where appearance is important in the mainstream culture.

[Fudgie]

In this situation one has to take in demographics. Dougie lives in LA where appearance is important in the mainstream culture.

Appearance is important here too, but you don't have to dress like you're off the runway. None of the higher ups I work with in healthcare dress fashionably but they look smart, putogether clean, and professional.

 

Dougie already seems like he doesn't want to dress fashionably so then he at least needs to dress well. He can't be in lounge clothes all day regardless of where he lives.

 

Maybe it's time for him to move, as others have suggested before but for other bigger, more important reasons.

[superfan]

Hey Dougie,

 

If a woman or in fact anyone is judging you because of your clothes then they are not worth your time.

 

When it comes to fashion wear what makes you comfortable that's what I always say

 

There is a difference between judging someone based on their clothes and wearing clothing that does not show you care about yourself.

 

For example, you wouldn't go to a job interview in ripped jeans and a t-shirt. Why? Because there is a specific social expectation placed on people to dress well for an interview in order to get the job. Doing so implies you are responsible, and professional and that you take a certain level of pride in your appearance.

 

Now different styles will appeal to different types of women, this is true. I personally would not be attracted to the type of guy who ONLY wore brand clothing and/or had to have the most expensive items all the time. It would tell me that he was very materialistic and I am not interested in that. Similarly, I would not be attracted to the type of guy who was wearing certain types of "hip hop" gear like extremely baggy pants, baseball cap to the side, etc. It would tell me that he was maybe into drugs.

 

But a complete turn off for me would be a guy who dresses in nothing but sweat pants for every occasion because that would signal to me that he didn't care about himself. It's fine if you are just hanging out at home, or something like that but if you are going out on a date in sweats....sorry, not going to appeal to most people.

 

That said, most women don't require a guy to "fashionable", just put together. Jeans, a nice t-shirt, etc. is perfectly fine for most people. Something that gives a sense of who you are, but also shows some degree of pride.

[Rosti87]

Appearance is important here too, but you don't have to dress like you're off the runway. None of the higher ups I work with in healthcare dress fashionably but they look smart, putogether clean, and professional.

 

Dougie already seems like he doesn't want to dress fashionably so then he at least needs to dress well. He can't be in lounge clothes all day regardless of where he lives.

 

Maybe it's time for him to move, as others have suggested before but for other bigger, more important reasons.

 

Since well dressed is a relative thing, I don't know what Dougie is comparing his dress to. He has implied in past threads that he can be frumpy. So will have to describe in more detail how he dresses so we can get a feel for where he is at in the spectrum.

 

I just know looking good in LA is a big thing and if he does not put in enough effort he may have problems by default. If he is generally frumpy as I suspect then it does not matter where he lives he will have some problems. I know he is in LA to start a music career, but at 34 he might want to re-consider this and move somewhere else that is more practical for him and his lifestyle.

[Blue Spiral]

Jeans and t-shirts can be hot. That's all my bf really wears..and hoodies. But he makes sure they fit....and go together. He looks put together even though he's very casual. It's not just what you wear, but how you wear it. I wear dresses and heels...but it still feels casual because I like bold patterns and bright clothing....so I don't feel overdressed.

 

My daughters father wore t-shirts and jeans too...but they were always way too big, and they had holes in them...and he didn't match his socks and stuff...drove me crazy.

 

I have no idea about stuff going together--I just reach into my closet and pull something out without really looking. My socks are all white, so I'm presuming that they match. Some of my clothes fit, and some are on the baggy side, because I learned long ago that not all "smalls" are the same. I'm proud to say that none of my jeans have holes...though I did finally have to throw a few pairs out. I'd had them since high school, and they still fit just fine, but they were a little ragged.

 

I don't live in LA, though. I actually look pretty dressed-up compared to most of the people I see.

[Dougie_D]

That's not necessarily true for every or even most women. Don't make giant generalizations.

 

Do you feel like you're not getting dates because of how you dress?

 

Not sure, but when my co-workers tease me about "your shoes look like a homeless man's shoes" or "don't you have a iron?" or "your hair is not working", etc...

 

I'm not stylish, and honestly it gives me a headache.

 

Oh...it could be that I'm just not wearing clothes that fit me. I was about to wear a shirt and my roommate said "please trash that shirt, it doesn't look good on you" and then I was gonna wear my main shirt, and he goes "you wear that almost everyday!"...