Always extremely emotional when I say goodbye...

[renaissancewoman101]

I hate saying good-bye, esp when I go visit people who are close to me. It makes me sad and I usually end up crying. I used to be worse when I was a child and had to leave after visiting my relatives in Hong Kong for the summer. I would cry and be real sad for a few days.

 

I ended up going to Hong Kong for a week. Got a great deal on air ticket. Spend the whole week with my favorite uncle. This time around, we did less "touristy" things and more relaxing things, like going shopping, out to eat, seeing movies, etc.. I REALLY enjoyed my time with him. I find him easier to deal with than my own parents. I fly out tomorrow close to midnight so I have a whole day with him. He is going to take me to the airport (this time he picked me up too).

 

I know I am gonna bawl my eyes out when I leave. It's always hard for me to say good-bye. I don't know how to deal with that. In a way, I feel like it will be a long time before I come back. Although, I came to HK last year (after 25 years of not seeing my uncle). I gotta remember I am not a child and I can come back whenever I want. I am not subject to the whims of my mother. My uncle says I am always welcome.

 

if so, why does it always hurt so much to say "good-bye" to the point I dread it, and worry about it (in the back of my head) from the time I got here. I had a great time with my uncle (but there is always a niggling thought in the back of my head that it will be time to leave soon". I am anxious already about saying "good-bye". Ugh!!! I am looking forward to going home too,but saying good bye to my uncle always makes me cry

[Seraphim]

I think it's normal to cry Renny. It is okay to cry when you say goodbye.

 

Just keep working on in your mind you are not subject to the whims of your mother you're not subject to the whims of your mother. You can see your uncle when YOU want to.

[renaissancewoman101]

The fear of parting and people leaving me or vice versa, is one reason why I avoid getting close to people. I am a very emotional person, and I had hoped that with age, I could temper that part of myself. I am more adept at hiding it now, but it still tears me up.

[Batya33]

How about not saying goodbye - obviously you will be leaving and apart but maybe not saying the actual goodbye will remind you that it's just a temporary parting.

[Seraphim]

There is nothing wrong with being emotional Ren. Embrace it. People always think emotional is bad ,personally, I think that's a load of hogwash.

[renaissancewoman101]

Victoria, you're right. There is nothing wrong with being emotional. I know that. It's just hard because my relatives are not that emotionally expressive. It's partly Chinese culture. Most Chinese people, especially those from the old country are taught NOT to express their emotions. That is one thing my parents are good at (being unemotional). My mom occasionally complains that her youngest brother (my fav uncle) is a bit too emotional at times. He is no THAT emotional, but he is chatty and loves to express his views (that is why we get along). He and I can discuss anything under the sun from politics to traveling, to our feelings, etc.

[Seraphim]

Well then he will appreciate your emotion and sentiment Ren.

[itsallgrand]

I think it's sweet that you and your uncle have such fondness for each other and a special bond.

 

When I was a kid, my dad worked far away for weeks and sometimes months at a time. So it was a constant flow of seeing him for a week or two, and then not seeing him for a while again. I used to cry and stand by the door when he would leave. Sometimes for a long time.

 

Then my dad got this idea (this was a time before Skype) to give me one of the pictures of the two of us that he took whenever he was home. It was mine, and I could do whatever I wanted with it.

 

It worked for me. I was still sad when he left, of course, but I wasn't filled with anxiety anymore.

 

And it sounds to me like this is more about separation anxiety for you too. The being sad and even crying some is ok. But the anxiety behind it can interfere with you being happy and feeling as secure as you could be.

 

The picture idea may not work for you, but maybe something along the same lines...something which you can come back to, either physically and mentally, that reassures you that everything is ok.

[renaissancewoman101]

Itsallgrand, the picture thing is an excellent idea. Actually, my uncle has a lot of pics of the both of us together. He's sent me a few and will send the rest later. There are also pics of us together on some things where someone comes by, takes a pic of you and who you are with, and you can pay for a copy of the pic. My uncle was insistent on buying me 2 pics, so I have some really nice pics of the both of us together.

 

When I return to the States, I plan on getting something really nice for my uncle and his family and sending it to them, as a thanks for hosting me.

[annie24]

hugs. tell him "goodbye for now." when you get home, try to plan your next trip to see him - i guess you'll have to look at your work schedule and figure out how much time you can take off. good luck. I'm glad you had a nice visit with him.

[renaissancewoman101]

I'm at the airport now. I actually didn't cry this time when I left. I did make preliminary plans to come back to visit again next year. That way I have something to look forward to . My uncle wants me to come back again. I do feel bad that my uncle caught my cold. He was kinda under the weather today. I guess having a plan to return helps with the sadness.