" In a box not a bottle" Asperger's revealed

[Seraphim]

[video=youtube_share;65JjWc9Zo9U] ]

 

We play this song to help the little ones fall asleep at work. It brings me to tears because it reminds me of how much I adored my son as a baby.

[Seraphim]

Heck still adore him. Even when your kids are grown you will still adore them.

[annie24]

 

 

Read this story, interesting

[Seraphim]

 

Read this story, interesting

 

Very interesting.

[Seraphim]

 

Read this story, interesting

 

I tried to tell my son about the therapy. He said get out and don't talk to me about that. People who try to change autistic people are sick and I don't want to know thing about them . Yikes.😳

[Seraphim]

[video=youtube_share;65JjWc9Zo9U] ]

 

"Sweet Dreams For You"

 

The shadows are waltzing

The moon beams are calling

Like a dream I am falling into

Silver threads lined with two twinkling stars seem

To shine just for you

 

Behind your eyes

Are endless blue skies

You travel places I want to come to

Each breath that you breathe is a brush stroke

That leads me to you

 

So, sleep

Fall into nights indigo hue

Believe me its true

Theres nothing that I would not do

For my dream is sweet dreams for you

 

It seems far away

but there once was a day

It was grey in a world without you

To this heart like a doll from above

A miracle of your love found me

 

So, sleep

Fall into nights indigo hue

Believe me its true

Theredream is sweet dreams for you

 

So hush-a-bye

And dont you cry

Sweetly dreaming, little baby

 

Yes, sleep

Lose yourself in nights indigo hue

Believe me its true

Theres nothing that I would not do

For my dream is sweet dreams

Yes, my dream is sweet dreams for you

[Seraphim]

Good luck to my husband he's driving our son to school today . Our son is most belligerent that he has to go to school on a religious day . Because he was raised in the Catholic school system he always had Easter Monday off . So he is right ticked off he has to go to school today . I have tried telling him that the rest of society does not follow our religious observances for the most part . He slammed the door and stomped off to the car .

[Seraphim]

Omg he is texting me saying he refuses to work on his projects today. I texted back no work no card games for a month. Get. To. Work.

[Seraphim]

STILL. texting. We are up to 2 weeks of lost card games now.

[Seraphim]

And now he's having another meltown at school.

[thejigsup]

Maybe he isn't ready for college just yet. Let him try a couple of years from now and he may be better with it.

[Seraphim]

Maybe he isn't ready for college just yet. Let him try a couple of years from now and he may be better with it.

 

I am afraid Jig. He is so so so reclusive I fear if he doesn't go to school he won't leave the house again.

[annie24]

What does his dad say?

[Seraphim]

What does his dad say?

 

His dad says he is going to school come hell or high water .

 

I kind of see this as growing pains . His kindergarten years and grade one years and even grade 2 years were

 

 

really kind of helish. It wasn't until he gained some maturity and grew into the routine that it got better. He really has to be dragged out of his little box and routine kicking and screaming . He clings to his routines with the tenacity of a bulldog . It really is how he understands the world . But I really see this as growing pains like when he was younger because he's transitioning yet again . And he fights any transition tooth and nail. I want him to have the best capacity of life that he can .

 

I just don't want to fail him by not pushing enough .

[Seraphim]

 

 

 

As we approach world autism day on April 2 give some thought to autistic rights .

[annie24]

His dad says he is going to school come hell or high water .

 

I kind of see this as growing pains . His kindergarten years and grade one years and even grade 2 years were

 

 

really kind of helish. It wasn't until he gained some maturity and grew into the routine that it got better. He really has to be dragged out of his little box and routine kicking and screaming . He clings to his routines with the tenacity of a bulldog . It really is how he understands the world . But I really see this as growing pains like when he was younger because he's transitioning yet again . And he fights any transition tooth and nail. I want him to have the best capacity of life that he can .

 

I just don't want to fail him by not pushing enough .

 

I bet it's hard. He's an 18 year old and he's acting like a little kid. You seem like a really patient mom. But obviously, you're doing the right thing. He can't play cards all day. and it sucks being an adult. You don't get your favorite holiday off necessarily with your job. He is lucky he is in school. Plenty of people have to work all the major holidays (christmas, easter, new years) because they work in retail or the restaurant business and they don't get the major holidays off. I don't know if you can explain it to him like that. (or even doctors and nurses caretakers, etc.... have to work on holidays!)

[Seraphim]

I bet it's hard. He's an 18 year old and he's acting like a little kid. You seem like a really patient mom. But obviously, you're doing the right thing. He can't play cards all day. and it sucks being an adult. You don't get your favorite holiday off necessarily with your job. He is lucky he is in school. Plenty of people have to work all the major holidays (christmas, easter, new years) because they work in retail or the restaurant business and they don't get the major holidays off. I don't know if you can explain it to him like that. (or even doctors and nurses caretakers, etc.... have to work on holidays!)

Exactly ,when I worked in the nursing home we worked 365 days a year . He was three the year that I had to work Christmas Day and my mom said he just laid on the floor and bawled that entire day . He didn't care what was happening he was just devastated that his mother wasn't there to be with him . My mom said it was just devastating to watch he was just so devastated and heartbroken . I remember when he was about nine or around that age if I would be late coming home from work he would nag my mother incessantly if I was even one minute late asking where's my mother where's my mother call my mother call my mother call my mother call my mother call my mother . He just really does not tolerate any change well unless I can calm him.

 

Today when he came home he was still fit to be tied . He went up to his room slammed the door. He was very angry with me in particular . Then after half an hour he he told me other things that bothered him . And within 10 minutes he came and laid on my bed since I'm in bed sick . We watched some YouTube videos he really likes and he was smiling and laughing again . So we have weathered the storm for now .

 

It takes patience but I always try to keep in my heart he's not trying to annoy me on purpose .

[Seraphim]

I have really been thinking about autistic rights as a minority rights issue . As I come to more and more of a social model way of things I think that's what brought me to it as a minority issue . Originally I used to think of it in the medical model . And my son becoming an adult has change my view in ways. I see it as the same issue as the issue of say colour or gender or any other minority group . I know most of society really disagrees with that though .

[Seraphim]

So my son was asked to go stand in the hallway and collect himself . Apparently he told the director of the program he did not feel he should have to go to school today on his religious holiday . * facepalm*

 

So the professor asked him why he was there . And my son says because my mom made me . So I am here and I don't want to be here .

 

Arumph , cough... He will just tell it like it is .

[Seraphim]

I am glad to say we have a more jovial human being today.

[faraday]

So my son was asked to go stand in the hallway and collect himself . Apparently he told the director of the program he did not feel he should have to go to school today on his religious holiday . * facepalm*

 

So the professor asked him why he was there . And my son says because my mom made me . So I am here and I don't want to be here .

 

Arumph , cough... He will just tell it like it is .

 

I know it must be so frustrating for you...but omg, I laughed. Your son is awesome. I like people that tell it like it is- and he is. I wish more people had the ability to just say their truth.

 

Eventually...People learn to "fit in"....either we learn it because we learn to empathize with others, or in your sons case, he will learn because he won't like the hassle it creates when he makes waves. He'll get it eventually. In the meantime...you can drink wine

 

I struggle with the balance of rights. For people on the autism spectrum...yes, they need to have rights and be protected.

 

Sometimes though I wonder if part of that is taking away some rights...idk. I worked with a young woman that had some kind of mental impair (it was never explained to me further than that), and she was gorgeous. And high functioning enough to hold down a retail job. She needed me (workers) because she had problems with her temper, impulses....relationships. Like she was "dating" a guy (he was a using loser, but I couldn't prevent her from dating him) and hey would go to hotels to have sex, she would pay for the hotel because he wouldn't get a job...and he asked for her credit card on multiple occasions, and she would give it to him. He racked up over $16,000 on it. What an as$shole! Nothing we could do because she gave him the card, and her pin. And I asked why she had a cc. It's her right. And I get that...but I felt like...we needed to protect her....she wasn't responsible enough for a cc...probably won't ever be. She can and has gotten into a lot of trouble with that card. And apparently it's happened before.

 

I know that my argument is in an abstract way like blaming a rape victim for wearing a short skirt. I get that. And I think her guy should have been held accountable. He was a user, a con artist...but the law was protecting him. I think that we needed to protect her...and not having a cc would have prevented a big piece of that...once he realized she had no money, he would have moved along.

 

Idk. I struggle.

 

Then there's my cousin. She has schizophrenia. She was doing really good- she was on her meds...got a job, had an apartment...for years she did great. Met a GREAT guy. Got married. Got pregnant. Went off her meds....and we can t get her back on them. She's loaded with conspiracy theories and fb rants. The court has made it so she can only have supervised visits with her daughter. She's now squatting in an abandoned house with some creepy old guy...she's lost everything. And we can t force her to take her meds. But if she took her meds for a month, she wouldn't want to go off them again- she could have her life back...the one with her child and husband.

 

I guess things need to be individual. Rights and laws can't be blanketed...but who can we trust to decide what rights apply to each individual? People abuse power like that.

 

Sorry for taking over your thread...these things have been weighing heavily on me lately as I watch my cousin struggle. It's so sad. She was a great mother.

[Seraphim]

I know it must be so frustrating for you...but omg, I laughed. Your son is awesome. I like people that tell it like it is- and he is. I wish more people had the ability to just say their truth.

 

Eventually...People learn to "fit in"....either we learn it because we learn to empathize with others, or in your sons case, he will learn because he won't like the hassle it creates when he makes waves. He'll get it eventually. In the meantime...you can drink wine

 

I struggle with the balance of rights. For people on the autism spectrum...yes, they need to have rights and be protected.

 

Sometimes though I wonder if part of that is taking away some rights...idk. I worked with a young woman that had some kind of mental impair (it was never explained to me further than that), and she was gorgeous. And high functioning enough to hold down a retail job. She needed me (workers) because she had problems with her temper, impulses....relationships. Like she was "dating" a guy (he was a using loser, but I couldn't prevent her from dating him) and hey would go to hotels to have sex, she would pay for the hotel because he wouldn't get a job...and he asked for her credit card on multiple occasions, and she would give it to him. He racked up over $16,000 on it. What an as$shole! Nothing we could do because she gave him the card, and her pin. And I asked why she had a cc. It's her right. And I get that...but I felt like...we needed to protect her....she wasn't responsible enough for a cc...probably won't ever be. She can and has gotten into a lot of trouble with that card. And apparently it's happened before.

 

I know that my argument is in an abstract way like blaming a rape victim for wearing a short skirt. I get that. And I think her guy should have been held accountable. He was a user, a con artist...but the law was protecting him. I think that we needed to protect her...and not having a cc would have prevented a big piece of that...once he realized she had no money, he would have moved along.

 

Idk. I struggle.

 

Then there's my cousin. She has schizophrenia. She was doing really good- she was on her meds...got a job, had an apartment...for years she did great. Met a GREAT guy. Got married. Got pregnant. Went off her meds....and we can t get her back on them. She's loaded with conspiracy theories and fb rants. The court has made it so she can only have supervised visits with her daughter. She's now squatting in an abandoned house with some creepy old guy...she's lost everything. And we can t force her to take her meds. But if she took her meds for a month, she wouldn't want to go off them again- she could have her life back...the one with her child and husband.

 

I guess things need to be individual. Rights and laws can't be blanketed...but who can we trust to decide what rights apply to each individual? People abuse power like that.

 

Sorry for taking over your thread...these things have been weighing heavily on me lately as I watch my cousin struggle. It's so sad. She was a great mother.

 

I am so very sorry to hear about your cousin . That is so utterly sad . My father is pretty much the same way severely mentally ill yet refuses to stay on his medication . And in that way he has chosen not to have a life .

 

I struggle too. It is a struggle between rights and protection . What do you do? My husband and I are really struggling right now . The law says he is an adult and the province provides him with money because of his disability . And right now due to lack of impulse control he spends every single cent by the 10th of the month and has no money for the rest of the month and keeps coming to me for more and more money . I can't float him. He will drive us to the poor house. This is a concept I can't get through to him . So do I confiscate his bankcard and control his money ? The law says I can't do that his rights state I can't do that . But if I don't he is penniless. We are struggling so bad with this. How do we preserve his rights and protect him .

 

Oh yeah, he is priceless for sure. He will tell you how it is alright . And he doesn't care if you're the queen or a homeless person he tells you just the same . To him people are all the same and he communicates the same for everybody . If you don't want to hear it how it is definitely don't talk to him . Lol. As for me and my husband we are more controlled by social convention.

[faraday]

That would be incredibly frustrating. Is there any way to set it up through the bank so that his expenses come out right away, and set it up so that he has two savings accounts...one that he can't access, that's like a long term savings account, and another that's for mid month that he gets on the 15th of the month?

 

It's so hard. Sometimes it's like the people that made rights didn't think it all the way through...everyone is unique...and we can't treat everyone the same. We have to protect them from themselves.

[Seraphim]

That would be incredibly frustrating. Is there any way to set it up through the bank so that his expenses come out right away, and set it up so that he has two savings accounts...one that he can't access, that's like a long term savings account, and another that's for mid month that he gets on the 15th of the month?

 

It's so hard. Sometimes it's like the people that made rights didn't think it all the way through...everyone is unique...and we can't treat everyone the same. We have to protect them from themselves.

 

He is not allowed to have more than $5000 saved ever or he loses his disability . So he can have nothing saved in his own name that equals more than $5000 . The only bill that he has is his rent which he pays to me on the day he gets his money . He is not allowed to receive more than $600 a year in gifts. He is not allowed to make more than $100 a month if he works or dollar per dollar is taken off his disability . Unfortunately disability really strives to keep you poor .

[Seraphim]

If I could get a disability tax certificate number I could save for him in an RDSP . Then he cannot lose his disability because of an RSDP. And the government contributes to an RSDP $50,000 over a lifetime . But I can't get the disability tax credit number because they tell me he's not physically and mentally disabled . They have now made the criteria that you have to have a physical AND mental disability . The only way I might be able to save for him is a TFSA. But then disability argues with you because not all workers know the ministries laws on TFSA.